Sunday, November 8, 2009
Drake Law School's Mission Statement
Drake Law School prepares outstanding lawyers who will promote justice, serve as leaders in their communities and the legal profession, and respond to the call of public service. We are a welcoming and inclusive community distinguished by an accessible faculty and staff and a collegial student body. We provide an exceptional learning environment that integrates legal theory and the development of professional skills; promotes critical thinking and effective problem solving; examines international perspectives; and instills the ideals of ethics and professionalism.
The rank: Tier 3 – according to the 2009 edition of USN&WR’s grad school rankings
Tuition: $30,750 in tuition for 2009-2010
Total Estimated Cost: $48,760 for the 2009-2010 academic year
Now, re-read the school’s mission statement. We will now juxtapose this with an honest description. Here is how a truthful and honest mission statement from Drake should read:
Drake Law School prepares graduates to work in various and exciting capacities, such as tending bar; waiting tables; adjusting insurance claims; reviewing documents for mortgage companies and liability carriers; and teaching middle school. The vast majority of those Drake Law graduates fortunate to find work as attorneys will toil away in small boutique law firms, solo practice (fighting for small PI and fender-bender cases, against competent, experienced attorneys), county attorneys’ offices throughout the State of Iowa, and insurance defense. We provide an adequate learning environment whereby former burned-out lawyers instill legal theory into the minds of (hopefully) the next generation of practitioners. (After all, we are a third-tier school, located in the freezing, humid Midwest; we are in the top three tiers of American law schools – a notable achievement.) Our legal clinics are very good and impart practical skills, but we don’t want to upset the courts or the vigorous and petty prosecutors so don’t be troubled that we STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you to take whatever deal the prosecutor initially offers; we simply don’t want to hurt our relationship with the courts. Drake also realizes that no employer hires people for their critical thinking skills, but we tout this virtue anyway. (It’s what law schools do.) At Drake, we also attempt to indoctrinate our students with the twin myths of “ethics” and “professionalism.”
However, if Drake or any of the other ABA-approved law schools were to be anywhere near this honest - even in their little-perused mission statements - then the number of applicants and aspirants might be reduced. And law school is all about maintaining job security for overpaid law “professors” (burned-out lawyers), admissions officers (used car salesmen), Career Services and other staff (parasitic appendages), and – of course - deans and university presidents (figureheads/fundraisers).
Posted by Nando at 3:42 AM