Tuition: For the 2010-2011 school year, a full-time law student at this wondrous program will be charged $33,800 in tuition.
Total Cost of Attendance: According to this same page, expenses over 9 months will add up to another $18,174, i.e. housing, utilities, food, transportation, personal, books/supplies, and loan fees. This would bring the total COA to a nice, reasonable figure of $51,974 per year! I mean, who the hell doesn’t have $52K to drop on one year of “legal education”, right?!?!
However, if we want to provide a more accurate picture, we will need to show the projected living expenses over 12 months – because an actual student will have living expenses throughout the entire year. (I guess the school left this out, for $ome rea$on.) Since the school estimates that living expenses will be $15,174 over nine months, we can determine that living expenses will amount to $20,232 over the course of twelve months, i.e. $15,174/9 = $1686 per month. And we still need to add the $3000 per year for books and loan fees. That would make the true total COA to $57,032 for the upcoming school year.
Ranking: This school is ranked, by US News & World Report, as the 98th greatest law school in the United States – in a five-way tie for most corroded second tier sewer. What a great accomplishment, huh?! (I would put that feat on about the same level as a person finishing a local 5K in 98th place.) Well, at least this ranking merely puts the school on the cusp of being a third tier toilet. I am sure the students, faculty and alumni of this dump are proud to be part of “a top 100 law school.”
Employment Prospects: According to the Office of Career and Professional Development, “Within nine months of graduating, 96.98 percent (289 of 298) of the class of 2008 who were seeking employment were employed.” Yeah, sure you had 96.98% placement for the Class of 2008 – and Salma Hayek recently reported having multiple, exhilarating, mind-numbing, toe-curling uncontrollable orgasms 96.98 percent of the time she is around me.
Starting Salary Info: “Of the 213 graduates who reported their salary information, average private practice salary was $71,793 while the overall average salary was $63,761.”
Well, there seems to be a problem with these figures. You see, 147 graduates (allegedly) reported working in private practice. Of these, 71 report working in toiletlaw, i.e. firms of 2-10 lawyers. Plus, 12 more desperate souls decided to hang out their own shingles. In contrast, only 17 out of these 147 private attorneys are working in firms with more than 100 lawyers. UNLESS toiletlaw firms have suddenly become generous with respect to pay for new lawyers, these salary figures appear to be pure fiction.
Also, it looks like there were 318 graduates in 2008. Yet, only 213 responded to questions regarding their salary. This means that these figures are derived from 66.98% of the graduating class. Might the bottom 33.02 percent be too embarrassed to report their income to the Office of Career and Professional Development? “No problem! We’ll just report an average starting salary of $63,761, anyway.”
For $ome rea$on, the William Mitchell Commode of Law forgot to mention these other employers that also hire their JDs: Target, Mall of America, Whole Foods Market, Magers & Quinn Booksellers, Borders, Doubletree Guest Suites, the Grand Hotel Minneapolis, Plan B Coffeehouse, Allstate, and of course, Minneapolis Public Schools.
Here are some “nuggets of foolishness” from William Mitchell’s dean:
"[William Mitchell Commode of Law dean and president, Eric S.] Janus said all four Twin Cities schools are a “relative bargain” when compared to law schools on the east and west coasts, where tuition averages more than $40,000 a year.
Janus said it will give him pause when tuition hits $40,000 a year at William Mitchell."
It WILL give you pause?!?! Why doesn’t the fact that the total COA is hovering around $57K a year keep you up at night now? Oh, that’s right - $33,800 in tuition is a “relative bargain”. I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me that this is a steal, Eric.