Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Profiles in Brazen Ignorance: Hamilton Nolan


Typically, I enjoy beating up on law schools, industry apologist cockroaches, “law professors” and diploma mill administrators. Today, I have a rat named Hamilton Nolan in the TTR cross-hairs.

Hamilton, people visit this site so that they can see me profile law schools - not to read about the freaky-looking, banjo-playing kid from “Deliverance.” Currently, readers in Ohio expect me to feature their local TTTs. Then you had to go and write some dreck - and delay these reviews.

How’s it going, Bitch? Seeing that you have a last name for a first name - and a 12” neck - how many lockers did you get stuffed into as a kid?!

http://gawker.com/5718889/young-lawyers-toil-for-meager-pittance

“The indignities heaped upon our nation's young attorneys continue to pile up like snowdrifts on the bleak city streets. Consider the plight of today's humble barristers: having spent the year confined to an office, they emerge to find...a bonus nightmare.”

In this piece, Gawker “staff writer” Hamilton Nolan decided to mock Biglaw associates who are supposedly lamenting their meager annual bonuses. I am not a fan of Biglaw and its corporate cockroach clients. (These crooks are often worse than the common street criminals.) Instead of noting the rise of LPOs - or focusing on ABA “Ethics” Opinion 08-451 - Hamilton chose to act as if Biglaw associate bonuses are a sign that the legal industry is picking up. The job market for American lawyers is shrinking, ass-monkey! Seriously, do some real research BEFORE spouting off on a topic you know nothing about. Why not focus on attorneys taking cases – from beginning to end – for $350?

http://gawker.com/5617763/recession-forcing-law-grads-to-do-something-worthwhile-for-a-change

We can see that Corky mockingly posted about law students’ gloomy job prospects back in August 2010, as well.

“Not long ago, America's best and brightest young greedy bastards were piling into expensive law schools, confident they'd soon be wealthy older bastards. Then, law degrees became worthless. It's gotten so bad, young lawyers have resorted to doing something respectable.

The NYT reports that hotshot young would-be corporate attorneys are stuck in a world of high law school debt and newly low chances of scoring that coveted partnership as a highly-paid corporate paper-pusher-for-hire, since old lawyers aren't even retiring any more. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Too bad the sallow rat did not dig deeper and discover that many of those who want to be public service attorneys will never get the chance - because of the lawyer glut and monstrous NON-DISCHARGEABLE student debt.

http://hamiltonnolan.blogspot.com/

Let’s peruse this moron’s blog for a moment. Check out his take on Dick Cavett’s New York Times blog.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/13547253652417543884

On the right hand side of the page, you can access his full profile. From there, you can see that Pencil-Neck calls his blog “Hamilton Nolan Says Smart Sh*t”. Hell, the next time you say something intelligent, moron, will be the first time you have done so.

http://www.gelfmagazine.com/archives/riding_the_death_spiral.php

Check out this interview with Gelf Magazine and “intellectual heavyweight” Hamilton Nolan.

Gelf Magazine: Before jumping over to Gawker, you were a staff reporter at PR Week. Were you at all intimidated by the new job? Commenters can be cutthroat, after all.

Hamilton Nolan: It was interesting. I was excited, more than intimidated. I liked the idea of being able to write more freely than you can just by being a standard reporter. The most fun thing to me is the freedom to write like a normal person, not just like a reporter.

[Read: “I can write like a bitch, and not worry about presenting objective facts - or conducting any meaningful research.]

Apparently, Gawker does not require much of its staff writers.

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5555563&startid=62680079

Hamilton, your “writing” style is similar to this tripe above. You simply pass on the misperception that lawyers are making it big, thereby feeding into the average person’s anger at the situation. The ignorant masses - including selfish Baby Boomers - then jump onboard with their foolish comments. In the end, you are no better than demagogues/pretentious douche-bags such as Bill O’Reilly, Glen Beck or Keith Olbermann. (At least those ass-clowns make serious cash for selling their souls.)

Do yourself a favor, Stupid Bitch, and adopt the following: (a) learn how to engage in thorough research; (b) present objective facts; and (c) don’t buzz your hair when you have a MASSIVE forehead and Dumbo ears. Perhaps, you can report on the fact that 44,000 JDs from the Class of 2009 competed for 28,901 jobs requiring bar passage – without telling debt-strapped JDs to “get a real job.”

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/grad_debt

Who knows? As a "journalist,"you might even be interested in the average student indebtedness incurred by those who attend law school. These are cold, hard facts that do not require idiotic commentary.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Crusty Turd: Cleveland-Marshall College of Law at Cleveland State University


When it comes to TTR beat-downs, it is always better to give than to receive. The same goes for having TTTs named after you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland-Marshall_College_of_Law

“In 1946, Cleveland Law School merged with the John Marshall School of Law, founded in 1916, to become Cleveland–Marshall College of Law. Cleveland-Marshall affiliated with Cleveland State University in 1969.”

John Marshall has yet another piece of trash named after him.

http://www.law.csuohio.edu/prospectivestudents/tuition/

Tuition: An Ohio resident attending this public toilet on a full-time basis – for the 2010-2011 academic year – will be charged $18,200 in tuition and fees. An out-of-state, full-time student will be charged $24,975.60 in tuition and fees for the same academic year. I am certain the school is serious about that $0.60, by the way. My TTT actually was thrilled with my $0.08 donation last year.

Total Cost of Attendance: The school estimates that room & board; personal expenses; transportation; and books/supplies will account for an additional $16,296. This would bring the total COA – for an Ohio resident – to $34,496; for non-residents, this figure would amount to $41,271.60.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/rankings/page+5

Rankings: There are nine law schools in the state. But this school’s solid reputation will allow me to compete in a crowded field, right?!?! Well, the school has a reputation as solid waste, i.e. US News & World Report lists this school in the filthy, foul third tier of U.S. law schools.

http://clevelandstate.lawschoolnumbers.com/

Job Prospects: Since these tramps don’t provide employment placement or starting salary figures, we go to an outside source for this information. According to Law School Numbers, 91.1% of this toilet’s Class of 2005 was supposedly employed within nine months of graduation.

Entering Student GPA and LSAT scores: LSN shows that the 75th percentile of entering students, for the Cleveland-Marshall Law Class of 2009, scored a 157 on the LSAT. Those in the 25th percentile had a score of 152. Those in the 75th percentile had a UGPA of 3.62, whereas those in the 25th percentile earned a stunning 2.95 GPA during undergrad. If you have similar numbers, you may end up at a third tier toilet such as this place.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/grad_debt

Average Student Indebtedness: According to US News, the average student indebtedness for Class of 2009 Cleveland-Marshall Commode of Law grads who incurred law school debt was $61,500. Fully 80% of this particular graduating class took on law school debt.

http://www.buckeyeinstitute.org/higher-ed

Law Faculty Salaries: Go to this site, and using the drop-down boxes, enter “Cleveland State University” under school, “Law” under department, Year 2009, and Salary Range of $100,000+.

We can see that the following faculty members made out like bandits, in 2009: “professor and dean emeritus” Steven H. Steinglass made $163,905; “associate dean and professor” Heidi Gorovitz Robertson “earned” $145,725.59; and “professor” James G. Wilson raked in $241,778.08. (Who knew that teaching Con Law, Environmental Law and Admin Law could be such a LUCRATIVE position?!?!)

But that is not all! Interim Dean and “professor of law” Phyllis L. Crocker made $162,386.53 in 2009, while and former dean - and current university provost - Geoffrey Simonson Mearns cashed in $239,465.04.

http://www.law.csuohio.edu/prospectivestudents/

Look at this outrageous header:

“If you don't go to Law School, will you always wish you had?”

After all, can one have a meaningful existence without taking out $70K-$100K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE student loans, for a TTT degree?!?! The shameless sales pitch then goes on to talk about how the commode was: the first law school in Ohio to admit women and minorities; offers joint degree programs and a Russian Studies Program; serves the community; cures cancer; etc.

Guess what this amounts to?! The third tier!!

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/cleveland-marshall-college-of-law-students-reach-90-percent-bar-passage-rate-92778054.html

Remember, bar passage is distinct from legal employment. Also, keep in mind that this 90 percent pass rate is based on a February exam.

Conclusion: While the cost of attendance may not quite as prohibitive as other diploma mills, keep in mind that the average student debt load from law school was $61,500 for the Class of 2009. Also, take your student loans from undergrad into account. A person could easily look at $90K+ in combined student loans. Do you really want to take out mountains of NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt so that these selfish faculty members can continue to make serious money?!?!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Third Tier Solid Waste: Ohio Northern University Claude W. Pettit College of Law


http://www.law.onu.edu/admissions/tuitionfinaid.html


Tuition: For the 2010-2011 academic year, a full-time student at the Ohio Northern University College of Law will be charged $30,964.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/rankings/page+5


Ranking: So the price tag is a little steep. Plus, the school is located in someplace called Ada, Ohio. Surely the job prospects and school’s reputation will make up for the price and location, right?!?! Well…US News & World Report lists this pre$TTTigiou$ school in the third tier of American law schools.

http://www.law.onu.edu/admissions/quickfacts.html


Alleged Employment Rate: The commode claims a placement rate of 94%, for its Class of 2009. Sure it was - and Salma Hayek just finished massaging my neck, shoulders and back with her lovely bare breasts. (If this entry comes across as rushed, you will understand why.)

“Over the past eight years, Ohio Northern's placement rate has exceeded the national average. The class of 2009 had 94% employed full-time or enrolled in an LLM program within nine months after graduation”


[This same "Quick Facts" page notes that the 75th percentile LSAT score - for the Fall 2010 entering class - was 156; the 25 percentile test score was 149. The 75th percentile UGPA stood at 3.70 - and the 25th percentile undergrad GPA was a whopping 2.94.]

http://www.nalp.org/2009selectedfindingsrelease


NALP reports the national placement rate for the JD Class of 2009 as 88.3 percent. This survey also includes responses from those who graduated from elite schools and first tier law schools. Yet, somehow this third tier commode asserts an employment rate nearly 6 percentage points higher than the overall job placement for 2009 law graduates.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/grad_debt


Average Student Indebtedness: According to USN&WR, the average student indebtedness for Class of 2009 ONU Commode of Law grads who incurred law school debt was $87,230. Furthermore, 93% of this poor, unfortunate graduaTTTing class took on law school debt.

http://www.guidestar.org/FinDocuments/2009/344/429/2009-344429091-05d78a52-9.pdf


Faculty and Administrator Pay: Let’s see how well the bandits/”professors” are making out. For this information, we go to page 31 of Ohio Northern University’s 2009 Form 990. We can see that the dean of the Commode of Law, David C. Crago, made $209,299 in TOTAL COMPENSATION - for 2008. Yes, Crago made $190,154 in base compensation plus $19,145 in deferred compensation. Only the university president made more money than Crago. In fact, three of the university’s six highest-compensated employees teach at the law school.

Furthermore, Howard N. Fenton, director of the LLM program/scam and “professor of law,” made $187,746 in TOTAL COMPENSATION for the same year. Lastly, Stephen C.Veltri, associate dean for academic affairs and “professor of law,” made $170,262 for 2008.

http://www.law.onu.edu/admissions/Viewbook_lores.pdf


On page 3 of the “viewbook,” the commode claims:

“Ohio Northern students are of the highest academic quality and are prepared for the legal profession by nationally recognized scholars who are committed to producing extremely skilled graduates who can compete in today’s challenging legal world.”

First, the school ADMITTEDLY accepts students with 149 LSAT scores - as well as those who graduated from college with GPAs of 2.94. Second, no employer gives a damn if you were taught by supposed “nationally recognized scholars.” Lastly, I suppose ONU Commode of Law may train its students to compete in the miserable world of document review and legal process outsourcing.

Conclusion: This school is an overpriced piece of trash located in the frozen tundra of northern Ohio. The official name of this moist turd is the Ohio Northern University, Claude W. Pettit College of Law. That name provides an apt connotation - as your job prospects will be small, i.e. petite, indeed.

In the last analysis, you will NOT be better off taking on an additional $90K-$130K - in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt - for a law degree from this in$TTTiTTTuTTTion. If you simply MUST be an attorney, attend a school that people will recognize - NOT one where people will ask if the school is accredited, i.e. Ohio Northern.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Fourth Tier Dung Pit: University of Dayton School of Law


By popular demand, the Third Tier Express is returning to Ohio. After all, who wouldn’t want to spend the holidays here?!

http://www.udayton.edu/law/admissions/Tuition_Costs.php

Tuition: For the 2010-2011 school year, a full-time student at the University of Dayton School of Law will be charged $33,330 in tuition, plus $206 in university fees.

Total Cost of Attendance: According to this same page, the school estimates that books and supplies; health and counseling center fees; and personal costs will add another $15,644 to the tab. This would bring the total COA for the academic year to $49,180. However, seeing that actual law students – as opposed to hypothetical ones – require expenses over 12 months, and not 9 months, we can determine that personal costs would amount to $18,667. Thus, the actual total COA - over 12 months – would be $53,847.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/rankings/page+8

Ranking: Okay, so the school is located in muggy, cold Dayton, Ohio. Tuition is a little steep, especially for residents of that economic dead zone known as Ohio. Surely, the school’s stellar national reputation will make this a wise investment, right?!?! Well, some publication calling itself US News & World Report finds lists this school in the fourth tier of American law schools.

http://www.lsatprepcourse.com/Law_Schools/University-of-Dayton-School-of-Law.html

Employment Prospects: Since the law school is not willing to provide employment stats, we go to an outside source. LSAT Prep Course purports to show that 91.5% of Dayton JDs were “known to be employed nine months after graduation.” It does not specify which graduating class this pertains to. This site also states that the average indebtedness of 2008 graduates who incurred law school debt was $81,770 – which is $10,245 more than the amount listed for Class of 2009, when tuition was higher.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/grad_debt

Average Student Indebtedness: US News reports that the average student indebtedness for 2009 University of Dayton law grads who incurred law school debt at $71,525. Also, 91 percent of this trash pit’s 2009 graduating class took on law school debt.

http://www.guidestar.org/FinDocuments/2009/310/536/2009-310536715-05f7ddd2-9.pdf

Faculty and Administrator Pay: Go to page 35 of the University of Dayton’s 2009 IRS Form 990. As you can see, dean and “professor of law” John Travolta, a.k.a. Lisa A. Kloppenberg, made $306,746 in TOTAL COMPENSATION – for 2008. Also, “associate dean for academic affairs and professor of law” Richard Perla made $258,503 in TOTAL COMPENSATION – for the same year.

http://dayton.lawschoolnumbers.com/

Entering Student GPA and LSAT scores: According to this site, the 75th percentile of entering students, for the Dayton Law Class of 2009, scored a 155 on the LSAT. Those in the 25th percentile had a score of 150. Those in the 75th percentile had a UGPA of 3.49, whereas those in the 25th percentile earned a 2.89 GPA during undergrad. If you have similar numbers, you may end up at a toxic dump such as this one.

http://www.udayton.edu/law/aboutlaw/mission_statement.php

“Our mission as a law school reflects our character and purpose, derives from our traditions, and inspires our aspirations. Our mission and our vision have important implications for how law is taught here - and how you can expect to be treated as a student.”

“The University of Dayton law school is partnering with Central State University in an effort to grow the diversity of its program.”

Hey, at least the commode is working with other Ohio toilets to promote diversity. Because minorities will be helped by having an extra $60K-$100K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, right?!?! Just look at the graphs on the bottom of the page.

http://www.udayton.edu/law/admissions/documents/2010Viewbook.pdf

Here is the commode’s viewbook. Look at the following nuggets of “wisdom”: “long hours in the law library have ways of bringing out the best in people” on page 6; “where you can advocate social justice – and have a social life” at page 17; and “believe it or not, the world definitely needs more lawyers” on page 3. I wonder why the $chool would $ay $uch thing$.

Conclusion: This is another overpriced Catholic commode. The school bills itself as an institution that cares about public service. Yet, this religious school does not see anything morally wrong with charging students $33,330 a year in tuition. If this is the best school you can get into – and you absolutely MUST be a lawyer – I suggest you re-take the LSAT. It is not worth taking out $75K-$120K in additional student loans, so that you can have a realistic chance of making $30K-$45K a year, upon graduation.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Unaccredited, Overpriced Piece of Trash: University of California, Irvine School of Law



Tuition and Fees: For the 2010-2011 school year, full-time tuition and required fees for in-state residents total $40,550.50. Would you like to know the cost for a non-California resident? (Are you sure?!) For out-of-state students, attending full-time, these costs amount to $50,573.50 – for the same academic year.

What’s that you say lemming? The commode’s first entering class received full-tuition scholarships, the second class received half-tuition scholarships, and now the third class will receive 1/3 scholarships?! Well, guess what? Tuition at this school remains prohibitive. Also, at some point in time, the school will not provide such generous financial aid awards. Plus, do you see the UC Irvine Sewer of Law decreasing tuition?!?!

http://www.law.uci.edu/financial_aid/costs-aid-prospective.html

Total Cost of Attendance: In the worst-case scenario, i.e. out-of-state student living off campus, the school estimates that the nine month student budget will amount to $23,815. This would bring the estimated COA to $74,388.50 – over nine months.

Seeing that actual students need to live for 12 months – as opposed to nine – here is a more accurate COA, for such a poor soul. Housing/living costs would be $23,753; travel would account for $3,244; and personal costs would add up to $3,072. We add this to the unaffected expense for law books, i.e. $1,908, and reach additional costs of $31,972. When added to the out-of-state tuition charge, we can see that this poor bastard would be backhanded with a total COA – for one year – of $82,530.50. Anyone foolish enough to attend this commode in the Fall will be realistically looking at MONSTROUS DEBT.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/rankings/

Ranking: Seeing that this school is not yet fully-accredited by the ABA, the school has not been included in the US News & World Report rankings. Who knows? One day, it might land in the top 100 law schools.

http://www.law.uci.edu/accreditation.html

“The Law School makes no representation to any applicant that it will be approved by the American Bar Association prior to the graduation of any matriculating student.”

Who wouldn’t want to slap down $40,550.50 – or $50,573.50 – per year, for a chance to earn a JD from this place?!?! Then again, the ABA is happy to accredit just about any building with several bookshelves, some desks, running water, a printer and a fax machine as a law school.

http://abovethelaw.com/2010/03/uc-irvine-everybody-has-a-job/

Employment Prospects: Everyone in the school’s inaugural class of 60 students allegedly had jobs lined up for their first summer; most of these were public interest jobs. However, seeing that the first class does not graduate until May 2012, it might be difficult to “network” with fellow alumni.

http://www.law.uci.edu/current/cal_bar_info.html

Furthermore, students at this trash pit are not yet eligible to sit for the California bar exam.

“University of California, Irvine School of Law students are not eligible to register until the school receives provisional ABA approval. We are hopeful approval will be granted in spring 2011.”

Potential Upside:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_California,_Irvine_School_of_Law

“UC Irvine Law aspires to be a top 20 law school, although they have not been in existence long enough to be officially ranked by US News.”

Yeah – and I aspire to have a threesome with Jessica Alba and Salma Hayek this weekend. Maybe Jessica will let me put her ankles behind her head.

Conclusion: This school is an unaccredited, overpriced sewer. It hopes to one day land in the top 20 law schools. However, this is one hell of a gamble to make on one’s future. For the foreseeable future, this school’s students will be trampled by the graduates of USC and UCLA JDs – at least with regards to finding jobs. The Regents of the Univer$iTTTy of California decided to open a law school NOT because there is a greater need for lawyers – but because they see this as a cash cow for the university system. I know that the state is financially broke, but this is supposed to be a PUBLIC SCHOOL. On top of all this, the school is preparing its students and graduates to enter public service.

Do not enter this law school UNLESS you: (a) come from a very wealthy background and money is not an issue; (b) want some more letters behind your name; (c) do not mind spending/wasting three years of your life reading parsed public record, i.e. appellate court decisions; and (d) do not care whether you become a lawyer.

Otherwise, one could be easily looking at $170K-$240K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, after three years. At that level, even a Biglaw job would not make this a wise investment. Then again, UC Irvine law students will not need to worry much about Biglaw.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Second Tier Clogged Toilet: Loyola Law School Los Angeles


As homage to Loyola 2L, I am profiling Loyola Law Sewer Los Angeles. Loyola 2L posted several comments on the Wall Street Journal Law Blog, back in 2007, which highlighted the problems with American “legal education.” He helped paved the way for the scam-blog movement.

http://www.lls.edu/admissions/finaid/index.html

Tuition: For the 2010-2011 school year, a full-time student will be charged $41,480 in tuition and fees – for the “privilege” of attending Loyola Law School Los Angeles. Yes, that figure is in US currency.

Total Cost of Attendance: The school estimates that room and board; books and supplies; personal expenses, transportation costs; and loan fees will add another $26,402 to the tab. This would bring the total estimated COA to $67,882 - for the 2010-2011 academic year alone!!

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/rankings/page+3

Ranking: Jump for joy, Loyola Marymount University Law hopefuls! This school is ranked, by US News & World Report, as the 56th greatest, most phenomenal, amazing, exhilarating law school in the entire United States. Yay!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loyola_Law_School

However, this commode was supposedly ranked 23rd by the Cooley Rankings, in 2008. And those are the ratings that legal employers care about, right?!?!

http://www.lls.edu/about/

Alleged Employment Placement: The commode claims a graduate employment rate of “97%+ within nine months of graduation.” Yes, that figure seems very accurate – and Lauren Graham just locked her ankles around my waist, and dug her nails ¼” into my torso. Notice how these rats did not provide a breakdown of this placement rate?

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/grad_debt

Average Student Indebtedness: US News reports the average student indebtedness for Loyola’s Class of 2009 at $125,264. This would make this school’s graduates the seventh-most indebted law class. Furthermore, 86% of this particular graduating class took out law school debt.

http://www.guidestar.org/FinDocuments/2009/951/643/2009-951643334-05e69cdd-9.pdf

Faculty and Administrator Pay: Go to page 41 of this university’s 2009 Form 990. From there, we can see that Dean Victor J. Gold made $328,483 in TOTAL COMPENSATION for 2008. Yes, Victor made $232,105 in base compensation; $26,500 in bonus and incentive compensation; $20,147 in “other” compensation; $21,850 in deferred compensation; and $27,881 in non-taxable benefits.

That is not all. Former dean of the law school and L2L punching bag, David Burcham, made $393,851 in TOTAL COMPENSATION - for 2008, as well. He was named president of the university in 2008. Way to look out for your students, David, by keeping the tuition so affordable.

http://intranet.lls.edu/studentaffairs/groups/reviews.html

What’s that you say, Lemming? You can write onto the Loyola of Los Angeles Entertainment Law Review?!?! Yes, I am sure that women in bars will find you irresistible - and employers will likewise salivate over you.

http://loyola.lawschoolnumbers.com/

Entering GPA and LSAT Scores: According to this site, the 75th percentile of Loyola Class of 2009 students scored a 163 on the LSAT. Those 25th percentile had a score of 159. Those in the 75th percentile had a UGPA of 3.58, whereas those in the 25th percentile earned a 3.16 GPA during undergrad. The higher figures are decent numbers, and yet these students are finding it very difficult to find employment upon graduation! This might possibly have something to do with a shrinking lawyer job market.

http://www.lls.edu/media/documents/LLSFactSheet.pdf

However, this supposed “Fact Sheet” lists the employment rate as 95%+ within nine months of graduation. This appears to be a newer version. I guess the recession/restructuring of the American economy did have a negligible effect on Loyola JDs.

Conclusion: This school is a GROSSLY OVERPRICED, Jesuit rat-hole. The Roman Catholic Church has committed some horrendous crimes, during its lengthy history. I recognize that these atrocities have occurred largely in the past. However, consigning LEGIONS of present-day law graduates to a lifetime of debt servitude is CLEARLY not something Jesus would do, either.

Remember, Loyola Law Sewer students, you will be competing against Cal-Berkeley, Stanford, USC and UCLA JDs for the scarce number of decent jobs out there. Would you take out $130K-$190K and make such a terrible bet?!?! Because that is exactly what you will be doing if you have the gall to attend this stench pit. The school simply wants your money. They do not give one damn what happens to you, upon graduation. Unless you are a trust fund baby, stay the hell away from this stink pit.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Pass the Toilet Paper: Fourth Tier Toilet Thomas Goode Jones School of Law at Faulkner University



Tuition: A full-time student attending this law school, for the 2010-2011 school year, will be charged $31,000. Yes, that is the Christian thing to do, isn’t it?! So much for integrity and ethical conduct, huh?!

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/rankings/page+7

Ranking: So what if nobody outside of Montgomery, AL has heard of this sewer of law? Surely, the educational experience and “intellectual stimulation” will be worth every penny (of borrowed money), right?!?! For some reason, US News & World Report has this school listed in the fantastic fourth tier of American law schools. This couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that this school sucks ass, could it?!?!

http://www.faulkner.edu/jsl/careers.asp

Career Prospects: “The CSO staff does not guarantee jobs or provide placement services but works to empower students and alumni with the skills necessary to conduct an effective job search at any stage of a career.”

Why doesn’t the commode simply flush this entire department, and print off some handouts to aid students interested in finding a job?

http://www.faulkner.edu/jsl/barpassagerates.asp

At least, these cretins are able to publish their graduates’ bar passage rates. Apparently, 91.7 percent of 2010 Faulkner Law grads passed the bar exam, on the first try. I am sure they will be pleased with their accomplishment when they are bagging groceries at Publix Super Market. Perhaps these graduates will be proud of their law license when they are serving cocktails and steak fries at Moody’s Sports Bar.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-law-schools/grad_debt

Average Law Student Indebtedness: USN&WR lists the average student indebtedness for Faulker’s JD Class of 2009 as $74,674. Furthermore, this chart shows that 86% of this unfortunate graduating class took on additional debt for law school.

http://www.guidestar.org/FinDocuments/2009/630/329/2009-630329409-05629a25-9.pdf

Faculty and Administrator Pay: Head over to page 28 of this university’s 2009 Form 990. There, you will see that Charles I. Nelson made $198,387 in TOTAL COMPENSATION for 2008. Yes, this “educator” made $178,701 in base compensation; $10,449 in deferred compensation; and $9,237 in non-taxable benefits. In fact, Chuck Nelson made more than the university president, Billy Hilyer – who only made $195,920 in TOTAL COMPENSATION, for the same tax year.

Potential Upside:

http://www.faulkner.edu/admissions/jsl/pressrelease1.asp

Ooh. The law school was named as one of the 172 best, most exhilarating and amazing law schools in the U.S., by TTThe PrinceTTTon Review. Congratulations! Then again, Florida InTTTTernaTTTTional UniversiTTTTy also made the cut.

http://www.picpaste.com/lawschool-jtJATd71.jpg

I’m surprised “Joey’s Deli, Gas & Law School” didn’t make the list. Maybe they didn’t have a fax machine or enough paper towels in the men’s restroom.

http://www.faulkner.edu/admissions/jonesLaw.asp

Towards the bottom of the page, you can see that NaTTTional Juri$TTT industry shill magazine has named Jones School of Law as one of its Best Value law schools. Truly impressive, isn’t it?!

Conclusion: This is an over-priced, purportedly Christian commode. Would Jesus charge $31K a year to those who have about the same chance of practicing law as a housecat? Make sure to keep your little Thomas Goode Jones law degree handy; you may need it to wipe your ass – especially when you are applying for jobs at temp hag agencies.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2245247527

Speaking of highly-educated housecats, check out this page. This cat’s owner only had to pay $399 for the pet to receive a BA and an MBA from Trinity Southern University. Colby Nolan even received a transcript showing that he had “earned” a 3.5 GPA. I guess he was able to use his diploma to line his litter box. The point is that TTTThoma$ Goode Jone$ $chool of Law at Faulkner Univer$iTTTTy is not much better than this diploma mill. In fact, Faulkner is a bigger piece of waste. The cat did not need to piss away three years of his life – or re-pay six figures in student loans. Taking out $100K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE student loans for a realistic chance to make $33K upon graduation is a stupid financial decision.
 
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