Sunday, May 15, 2011
Grab a Plumber’s Snake: Gonzaga University School of Law
Tuition: For $ome rea$on, these bitches list tuition for each credit hour. The price is $1132 per credit. Seeing that a full-time law student will take 30 credits, over the course of a school year, we can determine that full-time JD tuition at Gonzaga Univer$iTTTy will amount to $33,960 for one year.
Ranking: Sure, the cost is a little steep. But surely the school’s amazing reputation in the legal community will justify the price of admission, right?!?! (If you don’t want your dreams shattered by reality, then look away right now.) US “News” & World Report rates this commode as the 121st greatest, most phenomenal law school in the land. It shares this distinction with the following five toilets: CUNY, Howard, Maine, Southwestern, and Wayne $TTTaTTTe. I’m sure that the parents of these lemmings must be brimming with pride. Why shouldn’t they be proud? After all, only 120 law schools are ranked ahead of Gonzaga.
Employment and Starting Salary Statistics: Since the dung heap refuses to provide a link to its Class of 2010 employment placement data, we will look at info from Law School Numbers. As you can see, 86.1% of Gonzaga’s JD Class of 2005 was alegedly employed, within nine months of graduation. Keep in mind that this counts those who are working in positions that do not require a law degree.
Furthermore, the school awarded full-tuition scholarships to 0.00% of its students – for 2005-2006. However, these good Chri$tian$ did offer half-tuition scholarships to 7.1 percent of its customers. This page also shows that, in 2007-2008, a total of NINE law firms participated in OCI. This shows that the school cannot produce results. They cannot even attract law firms to the campus!
Average Law Student Indebtedness: USN&WR lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the Gonzaga JD Class of 2010 who incurred law school debt - as $100,092. Furthermore, 99% of the members of this toilet’s 2010 graduating class took on such toxic debt. That is correct – NINETY-NINE PERCENT!!
Faculty and Administrator Pay: We will head over to page of the Corporation of Gonzaga University’s 2009 IRS Form 990, to see how well these pigs are making out on the federal teat.
Dean Earl F. Martin “earned” $258,862 in TOTAL COMPENSATION - for 2008. Yes, Earl made $196,499 in base compensation; $50 in bonus & incentive compensation; $25,745 in “other” compensation; $19,407 in deferred compensation; and $17,161 in nontaxable benefits. Hell, the law school’s dean made more money than the university president. In addition, “adjunct professor” Michael Casey made $151,055 in TOTAL COMPENSATION - for the same tax year.
As a student at this third tier festering commode, you will have the unique opportunity to write onto the Gonzaga Journal of International Law. This will set you apart from your fellow job seekers. After all, legal and non-law employers love seeing that graduates have spent countless hours learning how to correctly cite article submissions for a secondary journal, right?!?!
The school’s mission statement reads:
“To provide an excellent legal education informed by our humanistic, Jesuit, and Catholic traditions and values.”
Apparently, charging students $33,960 per year for a third-tier, third-rate “legal education” is enlightened by humanistic ideals. Furthermore, pumping out graduates - MANY of whom will never practice law - with $100K+ in additional NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt - is instructed by Catholic traditions?!?!
I understand that the corrupt and morally bankrupt corporation known as the Roman Catholic Church employed torture chambers during The Inquisition. In addition, the Catholic Church also permitted its bishops to sexually abuse children, for decades. Yet, people still belong to this dung heap of a religion. In light of that, it should be no surprise that people are willing to pay $33,960 per year in TTTuiTTTion.
Conclusion: Gonzaga University Sewer of Law is a joke. Attending this waste pile will not result in a better life. Unless, of course, you think that practicing toiletlaw is worth taking out $100K-$140K to attend this dump. A law degree from this third tier waste pile will not open more doors for you. Sure, the school has an “innovative” curriculum - and touts its International Law program. Guess what? YOU will not be practicing “international law.”
Instead, you will be lucky to land a job related to law. If you do practice law, you will more than likely have the distinct honor of defending drunk drivers, and chasing down clients for payment. That seems adventurous, doesn’t it?! Actually, it strikes one as hell on earth. Perhaps you can look forward to representing minor league scam artists in slip and fall cases. Maybe you would prefer to help lazy bastards receive SSDI. If you go into Worker’s Comp, please make sure that your “severely mentally injured” client is not caught shooting 18 holes of golf.
Posted by Nando at 6:08 AM