Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Wash Your Hands Thoroughly: Washburn University School of Law
A hot-ass associate asked me to profile this school, several weeks ago. After tearing down several other commodes - and bitch-slapping Bob Morse with a steel pipe - I can finally meet this request.
Tuition: A Kansas resident attending this school on a full-time basis will be charged $16,560, for the 2010-2011 school year. An out-of-state, full-time law student will pay $25,830, for the same academic year.
Total Cost of Attendance: This same page lists the estimated total COA for a full-time Washburn Law student - who is a Kansas resident - at $33,667. The public commode states that this figure will reach $42,937, for full-time, non-resident law students. You can be certain that this school is only taking nine-month living expenses into account.
In fact, if you look at the text box in the middle of the page, you will see that the school lists room and board for the summer term. Adding the costs for room and board, personal costs, and transportation, we reach a more accurate, estimated COA of $40,752.50 for Kansas residents attending on a full-time basis; for full-time students who are not Kansas residents, this figure is $50,022.50. That is one hell of a deal, isn‘t it?!?!
Ranking: Here is the scenario: you have received an acceptance letter from this school - and perhaps some scholarship money. You are feeling great. Then, you remember that this school’s reputation is lower than dog excrement. According to US “News” & World Report, Wa$hburn Univer$iTTy Sewer of Law is the 140th greatest, most amazing and wonderful law school in the United States. These students are sure to set the world on fire, huh?!?! Don’t be a dumbass and attend this school, simply because all of the other schools denied your application.
Alleged Employment Placement Rate: The school’s career planning office claims that 88% of its Class of 2010 was employed within 9 months of graduation. Yeah, sure it was - and Lauren Graham just spent the night, climbed on top of me, and massaged my balls afterward.
I suppose that the commode is likely including JDs working as customer service representatives at Blue Cross and Blue Cross of Kansas, managers at Dillons grocery stores, and real estate agents, in order to reach this figure. Notice that the school does not provide any starting salary info. Perhaps, they were too modest to list their graduates’ large incomes.
Law Student Indebtedness: USN&WR lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the Washburn JD Class of 2010 who incurred debt for law school - at $80,488. By the way, 89 percent of the graduates from this unfortunate class took on such toxic debt. This figure does not take undergrad debt into account.
Faculty and Administrator Salaries: Seeing that Washburn University is a public toilet, we are not going to find salary info on Guidestar. Scroll down to the Law Department at Washburn University to see how well the faculty is doing.
We can see that Dean Thomas Romig made $244,400 in fiscal year 2009. John Christensen, "director" of the law library, “earned” $157,494 for the same year. It must be difficult making sure that the students have access to Westlaw and Lexis accounts.
As a student at this world-famous “in$TTTiTTTuTTTion of higher learning,” you will have the unique opportunity to write onto Family Law Quarterly! Imagine how beautiful women will react, when they realize that you have this credential under your belt. Women will be so impressed with this achievement that they will decide to undo your belt - with their teeth. [Disclaimer: Actually, nothing of the sort will happen. Women will continue to date muscled, tanned men with charming personalities - while ignoring your pasty ass. The same goes for potential employers.]
As you can see, the school accepts students who earned pathetic 2.91 GPAs, in their undergraduate work. By the way, such low UGPA scores show that these people will not have the work ethic or intelligence to excel in law school - even at a third tier turd such as Washburn SOL. Could you imagine medical schools taken in such cretins?!
Conclusion: Washburn University Sewer of Law provides its students with TTT job prospects. Ask yourself the following: if you were a Kansas law firm or non-law employer, would you rather hire a JD from the University of Kansas or one from something called Washburn University?!
In the final analysis, you do not need to take out an additional $80K-$110K - in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt - for the privilege of sitting for a bar exam. Keep in mind, that in three years from now, you will likely be graduating with no job lined up. If you want to impress your family, then send me $10K. By doing so, you can tell your friends and relatives that I tossed your ass out of a window. In the process, you will have saved tons of money, and not pissed away three years of your life.
Posted by Nando at 5:04 AM