Sunday, September 11, 2011

Fourth Tier Thomas M. Cooley Law School Apparently Adds a Cooley Grad - and Former Cooley “Law Professor” to its Legal Team

On September 2, 2011, at 8:30 am, JDU poster “BigSal” wrote the following:

“On the Western District of Michigan's PACER site, appearances were entered by Cooley's lawyers. They will be represented by Miller Canfield. See

One of the attorneys is a Cooley grad. See

If this is the case, then it appears to be a motivated, to some extent, by public relations on the part of Cooley. Apparently, the dung heap finally figured out that it might be wise to bring in a Cooley lawyer to defend the class action suit filed against it - especially after they hired a Michigan Law and Georgetown Law grad to handle the defamation case, against four anonymous - and presumably broke - bloggers. Keep this Miller Canfield news item, from March 9, 2010, in mind:

“Miller Canfield principal Brad H. Sysol (Kalamazoo, Mich.) was recently named by his alma mater, Thomas M. Cooley Law School, as an adjunct professor of Environmental Law for the May-July 2010 term at the Grand Rapids campus. He’ll continue his practice as a trial lawyer at Miller Canfield.” [Emphasis mine]

Surely, Brad Sysol - as a Cooley grad and former adjunct “professor” at the school - will be able to represent Fourth Tier Dung Pit Thomas M. Cooley Law Sewer, without passion or prejudice, right?!?! Sysol is no longer listed as a faculty member at TTTThoma$ M. Cooley’s Grand Rapids campus. (Although his Miller Canfield bio shows his teaching experience as: “Thomas M. Cooley Law School, Adjunct Professor, Environmental Law, 2010-present.”) However, we do see an unusual name on the list: Kara Zech Thelen, as a “visiting professor.” There is not a hyperlink to her school bio. Why does the name Thelen sound familiar?!

“GRAND RAPIDS – James Thelen was named Associate Dean for Legal Affairs and General Counsel at Cooley Law School. He takes over duties from James Robb, who has been named Associate Dean for Development and Alumni Relations.

Mr. Thelen was most recently a partner at Miller, Canfield, Paddock, and Stone, where he worked in the firm's Lansing office and handled several matters on Cooley's behalf. He first joined Miller Canfield in 1995, and was an associate attorney in the Labor and Employment Practice Group. He was named a principal in 2005.”
[Emphasis mine]

This piece was published on May 18, 2011. He was apparently hired in February 2011. James Thelen was a partner at Miller Canfield, right before joining Fourth Tier Thomas M. Cooley Law School as general counsel. According to this link, Kara Zenk Thelen has been licensed to practice law in Michigan, since 2000. James has hired by Miller Cansfield in 1995. It appears that James joined Cooley, after his wife was teaching there.

Check out Jimmy’s April 28, 2011 email to Cryn Johannsen:

“Ms. Johannsen:

I write to address your April 27, 2011 blog posting on I note that you have just updated your posting today.

Your report regarding Thomas M. Cooley Law School is, at best, false and misleading; at worst, it is defamatory and actionable. A simple Google search would have demonstrated that the defamatory material passed off as truth – admittedly by your own “hunch” – is nothing but a regurgitated Internet rumor circulated and discredited months ago. (I’ve reviewed too your Twitter feed regarding these allegations, which is stated as fact and is thus defamatory as well.)”

Thelen continued:

“You should immediately remove these defamatory postings from your “All Education Matters” blog page, as well as from your Twitter feed and any other site that you control. I also expect that you will post an appropriate statement of the reason for your retractions.”

By the way, Cryn earlier noted that the rumor/claim - regarding Title IV funds - “might very well be a hoax.” She was skeptical of the tip, and was merely asking someone to confirm whether the claim was true.

Scroll down to page 42 of TTTT Cooley’s 2009 Form 990, to see that the diploma factory hires sons and daughters of board members, and that “professor” Marc Benson is married to Jane Markey, a member of the trash pit’s board of directors. On page 45, the dung pile discloses the following: “TWO MEMBERS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS ARE RELATED BY MARRAIGE [sic]” Learn how to spell, by the way.

In the final analysis, Fourth Tier Waste Site Thomas M. Cooley Law School - and its agent, Miller Canfield - hired a Cooley grad to defend the school in the class action suit, in part, as a PR move. (To be fair, Kurzzon Strauss also hired a Cooley grad.) For $ome rea$on, it did not hire a recent graduate. Furthermore, the school feels that it is okay to hire children and spouses of board members. I suppose that “avoiding the appearance of impropriety” only applies to looley grad, aw students and toilet law attorneys. This "non-profit" corporation is a true moral and ethical giant, huh?!?!


  1. "Learn how to spell, by the way"

    ROFL. Screen cap that shit.

  2. FYI Nando, my router crashes every time I visit your site and it takes a few minutes for it to get back online. You're not running a virus or anything are you? Could law schools be running one? Any way it's very odd.

  3. Good research by the way. Not surprising that Cooley is seemingly nepotistic and informal; I mean they have done far worse, but it's good to know.

  4. why oh why did I visit this website after eating lunch.

  5. By the way, that douche TTTHeavan on JDU is fucking annoying. I lurk that site and he is the worst poster on there, by far.

  6. TTTheaven is a liar. He bores me. Nando's not blameless either though. He rips his JDU detractors open. It gets ugly sometimes.

  7. Quick Question.

    Did the bosses at Thomas M. Cooley hire Brad Sysol because they needed PR move of saying that a Cooley degree is in fact good for something? Or did they hire Brad Sysol in order to spread the wealth around to their cronies?

    (If it's the former, I'm sure he'll be told to 'know his role' and if he doesn't get it to 'shut his mouth'. If the latter, he'll probably sit back on his on recognizance and collect his checks for 'Doing the right thing')

  8. All I can add is that every single Cooley Student that is attending Cooley as a 1L as we speak.....

    had better get the first semester grades, and I mean ALL OF THEM.




    Before that student starts the second first year semester.

    Federally Backed Student Loans are involved, which go to pay for much of the tuition.

    Call it a hunch, or call it reality.

    So kids, demand your grades before starting the second semester of law school, and do not,

    NOT NOT NOT pay for your second semester of law school (GOD HELP US)




    you get your first semester grades.

    Touro Law school did not do that for me.

    And I only pray that your Law school will do that for you.

    But never pay for the second semester until you, at least, get those grades from the first.

    May God Help us all.

  9. Love it! This school is such a piece of shit it oughtta be featured on this blog every 2 weeks,.

  10. JDpainter,

    Great observation. In fact, if Cooley tries to pull that bullshit and DOES NOT give out grades before payment for 2nd semester is due.

    I will personally fucking file ANOTHER LAWSUIT on behalf of those affected students.

  11. I agree with 8:06. But how many schools pull the same shit? I remember waiting 4-5 weeks for a fucking grade when I was in school, in the 90s.

  12. I like 6:30's idea. How about a weekly profile of a random Cooley cuntbag?

  13. That is a fact.

    I did not get all of my first year, first semester grades, until I was two weeks into my second semester at Touro.

    But I could not attend thse second semester classes until I had paid for the second semester in full.

    In my case it was with over 90 percent in Federally Backed Student Loans.

    It wasw horrible. Truly horrible and stressful, because I did not know where I stood, or if I was going to be kicked out.

    And then of course I was in limbo about what would happen if I decided to drop out, what with pro rated refunds.

    One would think that at the very least, and especially in the first critical year, all grades would be in on time.

    I mean, if for no other reason than out of consideration for the Federally backed loans.

    Is not a school supposed to be responsible in how it "handles" that money?

  14. On TTTThoma$ M. Cooley Law Sewer's site, we can see that this dung heap has its PR team out in full force:

    "Press Contacts

    Karen Hogan
    Phone: 1-800-435-9539

    Terry Carella
    Director of Communications
    Phone: (517) 371-5140, ext. 2916"

    The dung pit has a link to the defamation suit on its web page. How "professional," huh?!?! For $ome rea$on, this stench pile did not include the class action lawsuit filed against Cooley, on its pages.

    Let's take a look at Seyferth PR.

    "Practice Areas

    What exactly is public relations? Funny, but you’re not the first to ask. PR is a strategic art form. It’s clear and consistent messages. It’s creating or communicating a brand that the public can identify and trust. It’s interpreting. In many ways, public relations is just what it sounds like: it’s helping our clients relate to the public clearly, strategically and effectively.

    At SeyferthPR, we are constantly evolving with new communication outlets, community trends and cultural norms in order to do the same thing we’ve done for 25-plus years: create and effectively deliver messages to each target audience. How do we do that? We invite you to explore our practice areas and find out how SeyferthPR does PR."

    In the final analysis, PR firms are nothing but shills and mouthpieces for Industry and the well-off. When cities or companies must respond to oil spills or other public relations nightmares, you can bet your ass that they will hire some PR hack to put a positive spin on the news. These soul-less ass-clowns gladly serve Mammon, i.e. they have no integrity.

    Check out this comical and insightful breakdown of PR firms:

    You should also head to this link:

  15. Amway is a money making scheme headquartered in Michigan. You get ahead in the 'company' by getting your family and friends to buy stuff or, better yet, do your grunt work. Cooley (another great Michigan scam) is the Amway of lawschools.

  16. That picture is grody!

  17. JD, you continue to dwell on your failures and make excuses to justify bad decisions that you were going to make anyway. We all faced the problem of not knowing our first semester grades until after we paid for second semester. If you got bad grades, you were put on probation not kicked out unless you were just totally dumb. If you did poorly but were still around, most kids I knew stayed for second semester whether you were on probation or barely making Cs. Where kids would drop out is after the first year not so much because of their grades, but because law school sucked. If kids dropped out because they were not top 10%, then most of the school would leave and there would be no school. Kids dont look at it like that and feel like they can still find a job no matter where they finish. Yes top 10 is great, but if you finish top 25% do you quit? Top 50%? The job market sucks for all but a few for most schools.

    What you dwell on is the fact you continued to go to school when you never should have gone in the first place. Your grades would not have changed your approach. I did the same damn thing.

    With the information that is out there now, you either go and get the degree and see what happens which is not always smart or you go for atleast a year and see where you are mentally and then quit because you hate it, not so much because of your grades, which is not easy to do when you have made 1/3 the total investment. Plus if you are top 10% after one year, but have a shitty second year and end up say top 50%, do you quit then?

    Law is like anything else. You risk money to have a chance at success. Most fail. Welcome to the world. Who gives a shit about not knowing your grades before second semester money was due. If you were so dumb that you literally failed out after one semester(which I never knew of anyone who did), then you deserve the financial hit for going to law school in the first place. If in turn you gauge your employment chances after your first semester grades then you are even more naive.

    Law is a shitty profession and with salaries so devalued relative to the educational costs and employment harder to find, as it is in most professions, the simple lesson is do not take out loans to attend 90% of law schools out there. The risk/reward analysis typically makes it a bad decision. Even if you finish top 10 in a crap school, your will still face tough time finding work and then even if you do until you are willing to strike out on your own and take the risks associated with that, you will never make the money to justify the educational investment.

    Like most, the best solution was to never go, but worrying about grades from first semester before you go to second semester means that you either cant handle the stress of school(and law practice is so much more stressful)or you know you made a mistake going and you are just looking for a way to quit no matter your grades. You came back because you thought if you graduated you would get work and make money because you knew the alternative shit job would never make you financially comfortable and now years later you failed at law, you try to blame it on the timing of grades. Hindsight is a bitch my friend.


    On March 3, 2010, blogger "M. Kraemer" ripped Cooley a new anus:

    "Prominently displayed on the Thomas Cooley Law website is a link to the school ranking. They abandoned the US News ranking system, which certainly can be criticized, but also threw out logic and gave themselves a rank of twelve. Out of the entirety of United States law schools, they took a US News tier 4 school and made it number twelve.

    What makes this absolutely more shocking is the “open and notorious” nature of this embarrassment… with no sense shame. Actually, it is on its 10th edition and the press release was authored by the President and Dean.

    Fraud is defined by the dictionary as “intentional perversion of truth in order to induce another” and”an act of deceiving or misrepresenting.”

    The author continues:

    "Cooley managed to take its 3 pitiful factors GPA, LSAT, and Bar passage and “shine that turd”. An 83 to 82 score is arbitrarily silly. Math is used to obscure the truth. Did you catch the manipulation?

    I would suggest adding another category “Attrition rate” where Cooley would surely be number “1″ : 1st Year – 26%; 2nd Year – 10.4%. Cooley wants people to believe that it can accept a host of people with the worst statistics (independent indicators) and come out thinking they are a top law school.

    This is nothing short of a delusion."

    In the end, this school has a reputation that is lower than whale feces. The pile of waste then contrived a separate rankings scheme - authored by the commode's founder and the current dean - that focused on factors that absolutely benefit large toilets. This further establishes TTTThoma$ M. Cooley as a dung heap.


    “Cooley is a law school of last resort.

    At the time [my wife] & I applied to law school, it was literally the worst accredited law school in the country.

    But it was accredited.

    My friend had sent this follow up email before recieving my response.

    So, I found USNews and World report lists Cooley as Tier 4!
    And I also found the source of their #17 ranking!

    Judging the Law Schools - Introduction to the 7th Edition

    Thomas E. Brennan, Former President, Thomas M. Cooley Law School
    Don LeDuc, President and Dean, Thomas M. Cooley Law School

    (UPDATE 9/2009: Cooley's vanity ratings are up to the 10th edition now, in which Cooley has magically moved up to being the 12th best law school in the country.)

    So the former president and dean made up a survey that takes their school and moves it up a couple hundred places?

    Better yet, the former president and the dean make up a survey, and they know they can't possibly get away with listing the school as being any better than 17th!

    Checking the link to the book above shows that the book has no ISBN and it is likely a vanity press book. The publisher is listed as "TEBCO, Inc," which dollars to donuts stands for Thomas E. Brennan Company, Incorporated.

    Mr. Brennan shows up again in amazon as the subject of this book - The judicial opinions of the Honorable Thomas E. Brennan" published by,

    Wait for it,

    That's right, The Thomas M. Cooley Law School.”

    Yes, this school is a marvel of institutional “ethics” isn’t it?

    Here is the Amazon link to Brennan’s work, “The Judicial Opinions of the Honorable Thomas E. Brennan.” Just as the blogger above noted:

    “Product Details
    Unknown Binding: 1219 pages
    Publisher: Thomas M. Cooley Law School (2001)
    Language: English
    ASIN: B0006RTJQ8
    Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item”

  20. Hey guys!

    How to use your "J.D." degree outside the box! Yes, these fucking pigs realize THERE ARE NO JOBS so they are now advising current students how to use your J.D. OUTSIDE THE BOX.

    Hah. What a fucking joke

  21. I keep on writing this, but burn the law schools to the ground, shoot all the law profs, and the law will be saved.

    As for the unfortunate graduates like JD Painterguy, all I can say is flee to Canada or some other British Commonwealth country* for a while; they can't harrass you for the loans outside of the US.


    * That is, if you don't speak a foreign language; if you do, move to the country or contries where that language is spoken.

  22. @ 5:36 AM

    Well, on the one hand you glad hand what I am talking about.

    On the other you apply caviar emptor (very tasty, though fishy standards) to me. and I in some ways are like peas in a pod. The problem is is that we have our decades mixed up.

    The one constant that might unite us is, as Alan Collinge might say, the unprecentedented (In US History) crime of Student Loan Usury.

    How and when did the USA embrace Usury so avidly and eagerly?

    Where did we go wrong as a Nation and get away from our founding principles?

    For Usury is the endgame in so many spheres now.

    Debt slavery is, in fact, the Social Contract.

    How did it all get this way?

    Well, it goes without saying.

    And that is where politics kicks in, I suppose.

    Until then we dance. A devils dance,

    of debt, and damnation, and corruption, and rot, and evil, and sin, and mouldering death

  23. Shithole Cooley again?

  24. even the hot chicks cant find jobs so you know its bad as they are now having to strip but then again, if she makes $20 bucks an hour she must not be that attractive or its just a sign that even going to strip clubs is not a big event for us anymore especially what i can see on the internet.

  25. ^TTT Reality was mentioned in the AOL jobs article.

  26. Even if you finish top 10 in a crap school, your will still face tough time finding work and then even if you do until you are willing to strike out on your own and take the risks associated with that, you will never make the money to justify the educational investment.

    Like most, the best solution was to never go

    September 13, 2011 5:36 AM

    This pretty much sums it up.

  27. I have no sympathy for those going to law school now. The information is out there. I mean, you've got a fucking law professor at a top 50 school who writes a scam-blog now.

    State bar presidents and lawyers and judges have made statements that the law schools are fudging numbers.

    All this can be summed up like this: like most ventures in life, most fail. This one is worse because higher education is considered a sacred cow in this god-forsaken country. The law schools are supposed to be professional schools. So you're spending 7 years in post secondary school. And they publish false data for the purpose of screwing more students.

  28. GOOD LAWYERING BY THE WAY!!! Your posts on JDU about the Michigan rule demonstrate that you are an operator bro. Maintain your backbone and fight on. You did nothing wrong here in my opinion, and should be commended. This is your first case as a lawyer and indeed you could be both a hero and gain national prominence if you continue to handle yourself this well. Keep researching, keep fighting and get experienced help too! Good luck!

    Robert Half Legal

  29. A law professor writes a blog now, and all the fucks that read TTR silently all this while are now rushing to the professors blog to comment and express their views.

    The reality is that the professor's blog would never even exist were it not for Nando.

    And now all the pissy little ommenters decide to ome out of hiding because it is a professor, and not a real representative of the suffering debtors, is writing it.

    What hypocrisy.

    Where were all the Fucks that are now commenting on the professor's blog over the last couple of years?

    What the hell? Were they too good for Nando, and the others?

    What an insult to Law Students, and Humanity.

  30. I'm confused why people are upset that certain schools don't post grades until after the date you can receive a refund on your classes. Isn't enrolling for a second semester a bit like making a distinction between wasting your money and throwing good money after bad?

  31. @ 5:39 PM

    Yeah, like feverishly sticking more silver dollars into that one armed bandit that won't ever pay out.

  32. Fuck law school. These assholes nearly ruined my life. Thankfully I got out when I did.

  33. "These assholes nearly ruined my life. Thankfully I got out when I did."

    But you're still paying for it, right?

    I need to add all the student loan outfits and the slimeball collectors to my list of "burn `em to the ground, shoot `em in the forehead" scamsters. NCO Financial, Sallie Mae, whomever collects for - a painful, miserable death to them all.

  34. I wouldn't advocate ANYONE go to Cooley, but FWIW the top litigator at my Dad's firm (a respected Philly MidLaw) is a Cooley alum. Obviously he's one in a trillion (given Cooley's egregious class sizes, I don't think that's much of an exaggeration). Just thought it would be interesting to note.

  35. Tom Brennan president of Cooley law is a crook and a bum.

  36. Cooley founder Brennan is the biggest asshole in the US. Everyone knows he is a fucken bum.

  37. THIS is what you did on the 10th anniversary of 9/11..........................

  38. Thomas. M. Cooley Law School has instilled in many of its graduates the skills and education necessary to become a successful attorneys. It's difficult to argue to with facts. Here is the link to SuperLawyers who have graduated from Thomas M. Cooley Law School:

    In addition, Thomas M. Cooley Law School is one of the larger law schools in the U.S. meaning that a graduate of the school has a larger network of alumni to refer work to and from.

  39. It is still a FOURTH TIER LAUGHINGSTOCK, ass-clown. For $ome rea$on, you forgot to mention that fact.

    Check out the link above to see the 2014 edition of the USN&WR law school rankings. TTTThoma$ M. Cooley Law Sewer is a pathetic dung heap.


    Employed at graduation: N/A
    Median private sector starting salary: N/A
    Median public service starting salary: N/A"

    Your toilet is so embarrassed by its employment figures that it did not even bother to furnish the data above to the stooges at US "News."

    On June 11, 2012, Elie Mystal posted an ATL entry labeled "Cooley Law Will Say Anything To Justify Its Behavior." Look at this opening, Bitch:

    "It’s pretty well established that the people running Thomas M. Cooley Law School have no sense of shame. They invented their own stupid law school rankings and then had the audacity to rank themselves #2. They’re already the second-biggest law school in the nation, but they’re opening another campus, this time in Florida. Cooley really doesn’t care what you think (or what the graduates who are suing them think), so long as there are enough prospective law students to fill their incoming class.

    As we mentioned in Morning Docket, the Wall Street Journal (sub. req.) did a big article this weekend about law schools that are taking a thoughtful approach to class size given the challenging legal job market. In the article, Cooley evidently didn’t mind looking like the thoughtless school that does what it wants and dares somebody to stop them.

    Again, if you know Cooley’s history, that’s to be expected. It’s just their hypocrisy can be a little hard to swallow…"

    The fact remains that your law school/employer is one of the absolute worst ABA-accredited diploma mills in the entire nation! Since it now has five campuses, Cooley has the largest enrollment of any U.S. law school. However, due to the commode's garbage reputation, it has a sizable UNEMPLOYED and underemployed alumni base. Yes, that is quite an accomplishment, huh?!?!


Web Analytics