Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Irritable Bowel Syndrome: University of Illinois College of Law


Tuition: Illinois residents attending this dung heap – on a full-time basis – will be charged $35,000 in tuition, for the 2011-2012 school year. With fees added, this amount climbs to $38,567. Out-of-state, full-time law students at the Univer$ity of Illinoi$ College of Law will pay $42,000 in tuition, for the current academic year. When you consider fees, the amount is $45,567.

Total Cost of Attendance: The school estimates that total COA – for 2011-2012 – for in-state, full-time students will be $55,185. For non-residents attending this public dung heap, the estimated figure is $62,185. So much for affordable “legal education,” suckers.

Keep in mind that these diploma mills only consider nine-month living expenses, when estimating total costs. If the sewage pit included twelve month costs, total COA for Illinois residents would be $60,124 – whereas non-residents would be looking at $67,124 in total expenses.


Ranking: According to the ass-clowns at US “News” & World Report, the University of Illinois Commode of Law is the 23rd best law school in the land. As you can see, it is also the third greatest law school, in the state.


Employment Placement Statistics: Since the dung beetles at this waste pile did not provide employment figures on their web site, we head to Law School Numbers. According to that source, 90.9% of the JD Class of 2005 was employed within nine months of graduation. This was before the economy went to hell.


Average Law Student Indebtedness: US “News” lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the University of Illinois JD Class of 2010 who incurred debt for law school - as $80,005. Then again, only 74 percent of this second tier sewer’s 2010 class took on such miserable debt. This figure does not include debt from undergrad.


Faculty and Administrator Salaries: Let’s see how well the law school swine are doing, in comparison to the debt-strapped graduates. Take a look at these 2009 figures, provided by the Collegiate Times: Michael S. Moore, “Charles R. Walgreen, Jr. Chair and Co-Director, Program in Law and Philosophy,” made $292,642. By the way, nice red windbreaker and polka-dot black tie, you ass-hat. How many philosophy “professors” rake in close to $300K per year?!?!

Furthermore, Ralph Edwin Brubaker “earned” $262,799 as a “law professor”; “Swanlund Chair” Thomas S. Ulen raked in $261,525; and Paul D. Pless, the former dean of admissions and financial aid who MANIPULATED DATA, made $105,957. By the way, fully 19 faculty members received annual incomes above $175K, for 2009. Who says that “higher education” doesn’t pay off?!?!



On June 26, 2009, Elie Mystal reported on an admissions scandal, involving the deceptive pigs and cockroaches at the University of Illinois Commode of Law:

“This morning, we mentioned the University of Illinois College of Law admissions scandal. It appears that former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich pressured the University of Illinois Chancellor, Richard Herman, and Heidi Hurd, former dean of the University of Illinois College of Law, to admit underqualified students who were politically connected. In exchange for admitting those students, university officials attempted to obtain jobs for graduates of the College of Law.

The Chicago Tribune reports the results of its investigation into the law school:

The documents show for the first time efforts to seek favors — in this case, jobs — for admissions, the most troubling evidence yet of how Illinois’ entrenched system of patronage crept into the state’s most prestigious public university.

They also detail the law school’s system for handling “Special Admits,” students backed by the politically connected, expanding the scope of a scandal prompted by a Chicago Tribune investigation.”

What a bastion of ethics and integrity, huh?!?!


On September 28, 2011, the News-Gazette noted the following:

“CHAMPAIGN — In an investigation into the past 10 years of College of Law test scores and grade point averages, the University of Illinois has determined that inaccurate data were reported for four of those years.”

Conclusion: This school is an over-priced, disgraceful public toilet. Sure, the school hired a firm to investigate the inflated LSAT scores and UGPAs. This is called “public relations.” Ostensibly, the school and university care about “ethics.” Then again, how the hell did Pless get away with this deception, for so many years? For instance, check out the following November 16, 2011 blog entry from Steven J. Harper, adjunct "law professor" at Northwestern University:


"The rogue

Shortly after Paul Pless graduated in 2003, his alma mater hired him (at a salary of $38,500/year) as assistant director for admissions and financial aid. (For years, putting unemployed new grads on the temporary payroll for paltry wages has bolstered schools’ U.S. News rankings. Starting next year, they’ll have to disclose it.) Pless stayed on and, by December 2004, was earning $72,000/year as an assistant dean."


  1. This school's reputation is built on lies and fraudulent statistics. The so-called investigation concluded that Pless was acting alone. This is BULLSHIT!!!!! A junior administrator fudging the stats and NOBODY ELSE KNEW OR SUSPECTED ANYTHING? This culture of lies goes right to the top, and the entire investigation was a cover up.

    Fuck these liars. Fuck these scam artists posing as legitimate educators. The entire system of law schools is broken and has been raped by greedy people like everything else good in this country.

  2. Why did I head to this blog while eating breakfast? Maybe I'll regain my apetite later.

    I'd be interested to see if Pless is charged with anything. I doubt the school tries to go after him. That'll tell you their involvement or lack thereof.

  3. You have a very interesting blog here. I must say that I found the entry you did on my school hillarious and disheartening. I can't help but wonder if I would have went to law school had I read this stuff beforehand. I only found these blogs after spending a large sum of money, and now I wonder what I would do without the loans I live off of. I pray that I get a job, but I realize that I need some exit options and some other options. I am thinking of teaching English outside the US, and to be honest, I figure I have a much better chance of doing that than getting a job in law.

  4. I'sa gotsa plenteh a chickin 'stablishments in da Chicago area. Yesiree I surely do. Can'ts finds a gatdamn job aftah gradumatatin' from dis them there here school 'n bein' on secondary joinal? Brings yer ass down t' one o' mah restaurants 'n fill out an online application 'n shit.

    Kenny tried t' cut into mah chickin bizness lotsa years ago. So I's don't feels too bads 'bout usin' his trademark lyrics.

    ♪You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em
    Know when to cooks ‘em
    Know when to walk away
    Know when to run

    You never counts yer chickins
    When you’re waitin’ at the table
    There’ll be time enough for countin’
    When the 12 piece meal done come.

    Yeah yeah yeah-hah
    Yeah yeah yeah-hah
    Doot doot doot doot yeah

    C’mon sing along wit’ The Colonel.

    ♫You's gots'ta know when to hold ‘em
    Know when to cooks ‘em
    Know when to walk away
    Know when to run

    You’s never counts yo' chickins
    When you’re waitin’ at the table
    There’ll be time enough for countin’
    When the meal done come.♫

  5. Next time you hear teachers whine, especially if they're associated with a college, or in a wealthy local district, remember the above. Pless nearly doubled his salary in one year.

    You will not see that in private industry.

    You will only see leaps like that where the money flows - education being a deep well, especially at law schools.

  6. Btw, @5:58 AM is exactly right.

    He nearly doubled his salary. Not for nothing, I'm sure. For playing ball. Someone has to like you *and* you have to be helping the organization bring in (yes, it's just like the Mafia, innit?) to get ahead.

    It's a scam and, yes, the corruption goes right to the top. Good observations there friend.

  7. From 1989-2000, Michael S. Moore was employed as a philosophy professor at the University of Pennsylvania-- appropriate employment for a philosophy scholar.

    Then this subtle thinker saw a big money opportunity and became a law professor.

    I am actually in favor of upper-level law students waltzing over to the main university and sharpening their wits by taking a few elective graduate level courses in legal philosophy, legal history, or law and literature. But I am NOT in favor of putting scholars in these fields on a law faculty where they do not belong. It is the proper function of law schools to train practitioners.

    As for Moore, I wonder if he deliberately set out to look like a clown in the faculty pic -- bright red jacket, big polka dot tie, wide grin on his bony face--as a subtle message that he made clowns of his students.

    1. This post is just wrong. Michael Moore has a JD and an SJD, both from Harvard Law School. His primary appointment at UPenn was on the Law faculty (though he also had a philosophy appointment). He was on the USC law faculty before that.

  8. This school is a fucking joke. They spend a million dollars on an "investigation" to discover the source of the fraud. That's like Al Capone spending a million bucks to investigate why he evaded his taxes. Speaking of taxes, if you lie or misrepresent your income, the IRS will hound and prosecute you. These schools, however, get a pass when they lie, cheat and steal. I am sure Al Capone wish he could run a law school without fearing legal repercusions or criminal prosecution. Welcome to the 21st Century Mafia: Law School.

  9. ABA won't punish these assholes. Neither will the government. What a nice set up.

  10. What these schools do is no different than criminal raqueteering, only it is ABA approved. Over the weekend, I spoke to a college senior who was accepted to a TTT and is going next year. He is paying close to sticker ($45K). I told him to reconsider his decision and I told him how the profession is polluted with too many attorneys and too many regulations. He looked at me as if I was crazy. He regurgitated the whole "a law degree is versatile..." and I told him that he had read too many law school brochures. When I told him about the employment funny numbers scam, his response was "well everyone lies right?" What a fucking lemming. This kid is so fucked. It's almost like having the premonition of a train wreck and watching the train before it reaches the point of impact.

  11. ^with such dumbasses volunteering for slaughter it's best just to chill in a recliner from a distance, grab some popcorn and watch the train wreck.

  12. @2:43PM

    The future TTT victim you described is probably beyond help. The law schools know what they are doing when they sell their product to lemmings. The most susceptible lemmings are college seniors who have never held a job when they weren't in school or out of school for the summer. College students work from the assumption that academia is all about the quest for truth and knowledge. Since academia is dedicated to truth and knowledge, and since law schools are part of academia, whatever they say must be true. You are telling this lemming that his core beliefs are not true. To him you are like a heretic.

    If this lemming is lucky, he will find the scamblogs and will meet other people who made the law school mistake. If he hears it enough times from enough sources, he may realize that a TTT at sticker is about as wise a decision as setting your house on fire to test the smoke detectors.

    Funny thing is, whenever I talk to lemmings who are dead set on law school and who have never heard anything but good things about law school, the first thing they do when I explain the downsides to law school is to try to figure out what is wrong with me. I guess they figure that I must be crazy or a loser or have some problem that can explain why I have anything other than an endlessly positive view of law school. They go through the list of questions (GPA? Class rank? Pass the bar? Which school? etc.) trying to find the thing that lets them know that it will be different for them.

    Sad thing is, most lemmings won't be dissuaded. They know that law school will work out for them and that they will be the exception. 50,000 exceptions per year sign up for law school. 25,000 legal jobs per year await these exceptions.

  13. http://www.uillinois.edu/our/news/2009/June25.docs.pdf

    Check out this epic list of internal emails, at the University of Illinois Commode of Law. On page 123, you will note that Pless signed off his July 8, 2004 4:54 pm message as:

    “Paul D. Pless '03
    Director for Admissions and Financial Aid
    University of Illinois, College of Law
    504 East Pennsylvania
    Champaign, IL 61820
    (217) 244-6415 (Office)
    (217) 244-1478 (Fax)

    Apparently, Pless graduated from this public dung heap in 2003. One year later, he was director of admissions at his alma mater. That is one hell of a fast track. A fair amount of recent JDs end up working in admissions offices. How many of those workers end up running the admissions office, within 14 months of graduating from law school?!?!

    Head to Steven Harper’s blog, for some insight:


    “Metrics mania

    One of the final report’s first section headings is key:

    “Institutional Emphasis on USNWR [U.S. News & World Report] Ranking.”

    Not until its 2005 annual report did the school — not Pless — explicitly adopt two new goals: increasing the incoming class’s median LSAT from 163 to 165 and its GPA from 3.42 to 3.5. When the median LSAT came in at 166, then-Dean Heidi Hurd sang Pless’s praises:

    “Had we been able to report this increase last year, holding all else equal, we would have moved from 26th to 20th in the U.S. News rankings.”

    Except the school hadn’t held “all else equal” to get its historic LSAT boost. The median GPA had plummeted to 3.32 and its overall ranking dropped to 27th. In May 2006, a new strategic plan noted that the admissions emphasis on LSATs had left it “with a GPA profile worse than any other top-50 school.” The new goal: raising the incoming class median LSAT/GPA to 168/3.7 by 2011.

    In July, Hurd sought a big pay raise for Pless because, she said, he was “in the hiring sights of every dean in America who wants to improve student rankings.” His salary jumped to $98,000. Up to this point, investigators concluded, there had been relatively minor flaws in the data submitted to the ABA and U.S. News.”

    By 2009, Pless was making $105,957, as dean of admissions at the commode. In the span of six years, according to Harper, Pless’s annual salary soared from $38,500 per year to slightly under $106K. But the school wasn’t aware of his antics, right?!?!

  14. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a disorder that leads to abdominal pain and cramping, changes in bowel movements, and other symptoms.

    IBS is not the same as inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), which includes Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. In IBS, the structure of the bowel is not abnormal.
    Top School Graduate


  15. top 30 school and they still have to lie to their students. Yep. They really respect you guys. Chumps.

  16. First tier shithole. 'nuff said.

  17. The school kept paying this motherfucker more money as the numbers improved. Coincidence?

  18. Our Artists
    Our Farmers
    Our Tradesmen
    are going.

    To seek for employment far over the sea
    wheree they will get riches with care and with industry

    there's nothing but hardship at home if you stay.

    Sweet Liberty
    Susan McKeowan

  19. To be fair, the admissions scams at this commode pale in comparison to the historically fraudulent Illinois criminal “justice” system. Check out the following Chicago Tribune article, from August 5, 1984, regarding OPERATION GREYLORD:


    “For three years, the FBI had been running an undercover operation aimed at Cook County's court system. It featured at least one undercover operative and a listening device in a judge's chambers.

    One lawyer in the room - Terrence Hake - was not surprised by the news. Disgusted with the corruption that permeated the Cook County court system, he had become the FBI's mole in its unprecedented investigation of judicial corruption. First as a prosecutor and later as a defense lawyer, Hake had burrowed into the dark side of justice, handing out bribes to fix cases concocted by the FBI. Four months after the Greylord investigation was revealed, the first indictments were announced, naming two judges, a former judge, three attorneys, two court clerks and a police officer. "I believe this will be viewed as one of the most comprehensive, intricate and difficult undercover projects ever undertaken by a law-enforcement agency," U.S. Atty. Dan Webb said in announcing those charges.

    The allegations ranged from fixing drunken-driving cases to more serious felony charges. One lawyer was caught on tape bragging that "even a murder case can be fixed if the judge is given something to hang his hat on." By the end of the decade, nearly 100 people had been indicted, and all but a handful were convicted. Of the 17 judges indicted, 15 were convicted. The tally of convictions included 50 lawyers, as well as court clerks, police officers and sheriff's deputies.

    Greylord was not the first federal investigation of public corruption in Chicago, but it was a watershed in its use of eavesdropping devices and a mole to obtain evidence instead of relying on wrongdoers to become government informants.”

    Isn’t it nice that even “a murder case can be fixed if the judge is given something to hang his hat on,” people?!?! And morons wonder why people detest judges, lawyers and the legal system. Of course, those with an IQ above 80 are not surprised by such widespread corruption.


    “It was called OPERATION GREYLORD, named after the curly wigs worn by British judges. And in the end - through undercover operations that used honest and very courageous judges and lawyers posing as crooked ones... and with the strong assistance of the Cook County court and local police - 92 officials had been indicted, including 17 judges, 48 lawyers, 8 policemen, 10 deputy sheriffs, 8 court officials, and 1 state legislator. Nearly all were convicted, most of them pleading guilty (just a few are shown in our photo). It was an important first step to cleaning up the administration of justice in Cook County.”

  20. No recent graduates or students care to chime in on this one? Guess they can't refute what's written about their school.

  21. I recently did some reading on the UIUC in light of the LSAT/UGPA scandal, and came across this as well.


    Hell, just take a gander at this.


    It's enough to make me never want to live anywhere near Chicago, much less attend any schools there. The whole place seems toxic.

  22. Chicago is a shithole. Why'd ya think the mafia had such a stronghold in the city? Corrupt top to bottom. City hall, the city courts, public schools, I could go on and on. Obama's from there. The state is corrupt too. How many former governors of Illinois have landed in jail or been charged with major crimes?


    'Indeed, Blagojevich is the fourth out of the state's past eight governors to be indicted on corruption charges. Democrat Otto Kerner (1961-68), Democrat Dan Walker (1973-77), and Republican George Ryan (1999-2003) preceded him. A fifth governor, Republican William Stratton (1953-1961), was charged with income tax evasion but later acquitted.'

  23. ^^

    Where are Stinky and Pile?

  24. daniel rostenkowski was a piece of shitDecember 1, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    Don't forget that cocksucking piece of shit Daniel Rostenkowski. He terrorized people as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee. Is that what you mean by Stinky and Pile?

    I know this blog gets a lot of lefties. It also attracts right wingers and libertarians, but mostly leftists. Wht those guys and girls need to realize is Rottenkowski the giant turd enacted most of Reagan's tax cuts for the wealthy. I hope to hell the son of a bitch got raped in the ass while he was in prison. Over and over and over again by Bubba.

  25. I know quite a few UICU grads. There's nothing special about them or their school. I knew one grad that came from money. Real whack job too. She had average to middling grades. Think she had troubles finding a job? I knew others with strong grades but no connections. Yep, you guessed it. Those poor schlubs ended up working in shitlaw in small Illinois towns. And those were the lucky ones.

  26. http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2011/12/thomas-cooley-.html

  27. http://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/college-rankings-blog/2011/10/05/university-of-illinois-law-school-admits-to-submitting-inflated-admission-data-

    On October 5, 2011, Pussy Bob Morse reported on the admissions fraud at the University of Illinois Commode of Law, in a blog entry entitled “University of Illinois Law School Admits to Submitting Inflated Admission Data.” Here is the opening:

    “In late September, University of Illinois posted a press release on its website that said "in an investigation into the past 10 years of University of Illinois's College of Law test scores and grade point averages (GPA), the ongoing University-initiated review has determined that inaccurate data were reported for four of those years."

    The University of Illinois College of Law data that was reported inaccurately to the American Bar Association was for the law school's classes that entered in fall 2008, fall 2009, and fall 2010. This same inaccurate admissions data was also reported to U.S. News by the school and was used to compute our Best Law Schools rankings for the 2010, 2011, and the most recent 2012 edition, which is on our website now.”

    Ass-Sniffer Bob Morse continued:

    “The inaccurate data was the median LSAT and median undergraduate grade point average for the entering classes, both of which are used in the methodology for the U.S. News law school rankings. The LSAT has a weight of 12.5 percent, and the undergraduate grade point average counts for 10 percent in the overall rankings.

    U.S. News will not change our long-standing policy of not revising previously published rankings. This was the same policy we followed when Villanova University School of Law disclosed in February 2011 that it had erroneously reporting admissions data.
    [Read about Villanova Law's data inaccuracies.]

    Data integrity is very important to U.S. News, and we rely on schools to behave ethically and provide us with accurate information. In the case of law schools, the data at issue is what was reported to the ABA on the school's annual accreditation questionnaire. U.S. News asks law schools to report the same data as they report to their accrediting body, the ABA, so we assume they are reporting accurately. This was not the case for University of Illinois's College of Law.

    U.S. News believes that inaccurate data reporting is not widespread among the nation's nearly 200 law schools.”

    The pigs and cockroaches gamed your stupid rankings scheme - in two components that comprise 22.5% of the overall score. Yet YOU, being the ball-less wonder that you are, decided not to revise the commode’s prior rankings - even after a school has been caught manipulating data. Yes, what a “man” of principle, huh?!?! Shove your idiotic, little policy up your ass, Bitch.


    “Update: The University of Illinois College of Law reported data inaccurately.”

    Yes, applicants will really be swayed by this neutral language/disclaimer, right?!?! Lemmings instead will be looking at the school’s overall USN&WR ranking.

  28. I am currently on academic probation here at St. Thomas in Miami Gardens. I am a 2L in my third semester. I am almost certain to be dismissed at the conclusion of this semester. Although I earned an A in legal writing my first semester, I never grasped law school exams and am a terrible issue spotter. I struggle to IRAC. I am just not cut out for this. I am well aware that I am now 90k in debt with nothing to show for it, but I don't want to dwell on the negative (I'm sure that kind of debt can put some folks over the edge). I wish I had never come here.

  29. ^Sorry to hear that. That's mrore than you'll get from the selfish cocksuckers at your school. They're happy you're up to your eyeballs in debt. That's how the slime covered professors get to live in big beautiful houses, drive fancy cars, and have easy lives. By playing off your idealism and confidence. If your grades are weak, drop out and save yourself another fortune. This is your life. And don't get too down on yourself. Who is cut out for this silly nonsense? The back-biting and ultracompetive bullshit? The head games and hide the ball garbage are for suckers.

  30. @3:07 PM

    You sound exactly like me when I was a 2L and in my 3rd semester.

    Thankfully, Touro Law School had some preposterously easy 2nd year courses that were a guarantee of an easy A or B+, which pulled my GPA above passing.

    The whole story is on my blog.

    Dickens wrote about sleazy Yorkshire Schools, and about a Professor somewhat akin, at least in a psychological sense to todays Law School Professors, I suspect.

    His name, in the Dicken's Novel was: Wackford Squeers

    Anyway, Nicholas Nickleby ended up beating the ever living shit out of Squeers.

    My whole point is that this is not the first time in Human History that Education has been corrupted.

  31. Again @ 3:07PM

    Here is the start of an absolutely wonderful production and rendition of the Nicholas Nickleby story.

    I hope you find comfort in the midst of your suffering; for you remind me so much of myself as I went through the scam.

    May God help your indebted soul. 90K in Student Loan Debt is impossible.

    My 311K and fast growing is more impossible and suicidal.

    And the years creep on and on, and the debt grows and grows, and grows, like a Godzilla.

    Anyway, go here, for a fantastic journey:


    BTW, you are not a piece of shit, dumped out by a law school.

    You are an intelligent, human being, with Dignity.

    You came from a credible University, and are now in rip off law school land, wherein bad grades are handed out like candy.

    Hold your head up, and I will do the same.

    Ah Bartleby. Ah Humanity!

  32. Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate the feedback. I will post here as my grades trickle in. I have two more finals remaining (pro rep and family law) before I return home to Massachusetts for the semester break. I am packing in anticipation of not returning; they can do whatever they want with the mini fridge and microwave I'm leaving behind in my dorm room.

  33. Leave a big turd on the floor of your dorm room. Right in the middle of the place so the greedheaded fools can see what they're doing to their students. Make them see what the students go through. Best of luck and enjoy the holidays.


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