Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Miserable Fourth Tier Meconium: University of Memphis Cecil C. Humphreys School of Law


Tuition: Tennessee residents attending this trash pit on a full-time basis were charged $15,710 in tuition and fees – for the 2011-2012 school year. For $ome rea$on, these hags and bitches have not yet provided costs for the upcoming academic year. Out-of-state, full-time law students were hit with a big-ass bill of $37,582 in tuition and fees – for 2011-2012.

Total Estimated Cost of Attendance: According to this same document, room and board; books/supplies; transportation; and miscellaneous expenses will add another $15,705 to the tab. Of course, the pigs base this figure off a nine-month academic calendar.

Prorating these figures – other than books and supplies – this amount reaches $20,235. Seeing that actual law students will require living expenses over twelve months, we come up with a more accurate total estimated COA - for 2011-2012 - of $57,817 for non-resident, full-time law students, whereas in-state, full-time students faced total charges of $35,945. Isn’t it nice to see public commodes providing such affordable “education”?!?!


Ranking: At such prices, this school must be prestigious, right?!?! If you applied to this sewage pit with such hopes, then go in the kitchen and make yourself a sandwich. You can also skip over the next sentence. US “News” & World Report lists the University of Memphis Cecil C. Humphreys Sewer of Law among the moist fourth tier of U.S. law schools! Certainly, good things await these TTTT graduates.


Supposed Employment Placement Rate: This garbage heaps makes the following grammatically-incorrect claim: “88.8% of the Class of 2011 were employed nine months after graduation.”

Also, notice that there were 129 members of the Univer$iTTTy of Memphi$ JD Class of 2011 – and that only 95 reported being employed. Furthermore, only 65 respondents were in positions requiring bar admission. In essence, only half of this class ended up in jobs where a law license was required.

Take a look at the chart labeled “Class of 2011 Employed by Law Firm Size.” Fully 30 grads were in firms of 2-10 lawyers. Roughly seven desperate fools went into solo practice. How do you like those results, lemming?!?! For $ome rea$on, the toilet did not even bother to furnish starting salary info, for this cohort.


Average Law Student Indebtedness: US “News” lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the University of Memphis JD Class of 2011 who incurred debt for law school - as $70,025. Fully 78 percent of this school’s 2011 class took on such toxic debt. Keep in mind that this is one of the most “affordable” law schools in the nation. Furthermore, his figure does not take undergraduate debt into account.


Administrator and Faculty Salary Data: Let’s head to this link from the Commercial Appeal and see how well the pigs are compensated. The figures below are from the 2011-2012 column - although some commenters indicated that the numbers are three years old:

Kevin Smith, dean of this pile of rot, was paid $226,600 for his “work.” By the way, this butter cow even earned a Bachelor’s degree from Drake University in 1977. Andrew Jay McClurg raked in $220,120 - in his role as the ridiculously-named “professor and Herbert Herff Chair of Excellence in Law.”

The State of Tennessee Tosses $42 Million Down the Toilet to Relocate this School:

Head to this page to look at this fundraising campaign, which the commode named “Countdown to Downtown”:


“The Cecil C Humphreys School is raising 12 million dollars in private support from graduates, friends, foundations, law firms, and other sources. $6 million dollars relocated the post office and the remaining $6 million will fund endowments to support student scholarships, faculty professorships, and academic initiatives. The State of Tennessee allocated an unprecedented $42 million toward the renovation of the historic custom house, federal courthouse and most recently post office.” [Emphasis mine]

Clearly these funds have been put to better use. The State of Tennessee set aside $42 million in order to relocate this fourth tier trash can. Apparently, the state wants to make sure that the legal market will remain over-saturated.

Conclusion: The University of Memphis Cecil C. Humphreys School of Law is a pathetic toilet that is NOT run for the benefit of the paying customers, i.e. students and graduates. You will not be served well by incurring an additional $75K-$120K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt. The “professors” and administrators are paid up front, in full – while YOU, the student and graduate, will repay these loans with interest, for the next 20-30 years. If this garbage can still sounds enticing to you, then dig in, moron. Perhaps, you enjoy drinking from the toilet. If so, then go ahead and enroll in this rot pile.


  1. That diaper is so disgusting. My goodness. And that picture is rather disgusting too.

  2. I am delighted that you finally focused on one of my State's sewer law pits. The 42 million the State sinks into this stench hole is particularly egregious considering: 1) there are five other law schools in this state of 5 million; 2) Tennessee is ranked 44th in education; and 3) 40th in per capita income. Disgraceful!

  3. Just because Memphis makes its way into some Grisham novels doesn't mean the city is some sort of mecca of the legal world. If this is the best school you can get into, you aren't cut out to be a lawyer. Not in this century.

  4. Higher education is a business. Get that through your heads. The schools don't guarantee you a job. Of any sort. There job is to educate you.

  5. "Man is conceived in sin, and born in corruption, from the stink of the diaper, to the stench of the shroud."

    Willie Stark, from the Novel: "All the King's Men, by Robert Penn Warren.

  6. @1:58 - Agreed higher education is a business - especially law schools. That said, can you explain why law schools put job placement data on their websites and in their promotional materials, and why U$ New$ makes such a big deal out of employment figures in their rankings? Or why law school placement numbers dropped precipitously in 2010, two years after the recession started? (Answer - they were scared into giving out accurate placement stats, so the numbers took a giant shit).

    Go look at the website for any masters or Phd program in the arts, the sciences or the humanities and see if you can find clear references to job placement, or placement figures or salary stats. You won't find them. That's because those schools limit their business to delivering education.

    So when you say that the schools don't guarantee you a job, you are technically correct. They don't make an affirmative promise that you will find a job. Until recently, schools just happened to make claims about 95+% job placement and median salaries of 110k. Those are not affirmative guarantees of a job, but they sure are indicators that education at a certain school leads to a certain employment outcome.

    Otherwise, why would schools post job figures at all? If they were just there to deliver education like arts, humanities and science graduate programs, they wouldn't need to.

    1. Don't pay attention to Anon. @1:58 - he's another frigging troll, like the World Traveling Law Student.

  7. Strelnikov--I think we can all agree that law school--and education generally, at least as we know it--is a business. But what 1:58 seems not to have read much of this blog, or others about the law school scam: They all make the point that law schools don't do much to educate their students, at least in areas that are relevant to practicing law.

    About this post: I have never applied to a law school and entertained thoughts of doing so for, oh, maybe fifteen minutes of my entire life. So I may not know much about the law schools that aren't associated with big-name universities. That said, I can't understand why anyone would apply to the U of Memphis Law School--or, for that matter, go to any educational institution in Tennessee save for Vanderbilt and maybe U Tenn.

    1. So, if you've never entertained the thought of law school, why do you care? I love that everyone on this site bitches, it's fun to look at and actually very entertaining. So, if you're not interested in law, what are you interested in? Did you even go to college or do you feel the govt. should help you out?

  8. Today, this blog received several visitors from the University of Memphis, including some employed by the FOURTH TIER stink pile law school:


    IP Information -
    Host name: kratzke.law.memphis.edu
    Country: United States
    Country Code: US
    Region: TN
    City: Memphis
    Latitude: 35.2017
    Longitude: -89.9715


    IP Information -
    Host name: orchid.memphis.edu


    IP Information -
    Host name: tahughes-21.memphis.edu


    IP Information -
    Host name: kratzke.law.memphis.edu


    IP Information -
    Host name: rgipson-32.law.memphis.edu


    IP Information -
    Host name: david.law.memphis.edu

    From my analytics:

    10:38am 2 actions 1m 9s
    10:27am 1 action 10s
    9:05am 1 action 10s
    8:49am 1 action 10s
    8:48am 1 action 10s

    Visits: 1
    Unique ID: 3148862160
    IP address:
    Locale: Memphis, TN, USA / English
    Platform: Firefox 12.0 / Windows 7 / 1920x1200

    Visits by this user in the last 7 days

    Jul 17 2012 9:05am 1 action 10s

  9. What bothers me is that law schools pretend not to be a for-profit business. They pontificate endlessly about serving the public, training future leaders, professionalism, contributing to society, ethics, etc. If they just came out and said that they were selling a product for a profit--and caveat emptor--this whole scam would be a little easier to abide.

    8:24 yes the diaper is disgusting. But if you clean it up and put on a fresh one, at least you are contributing to raising an independent, functioning, self sufficient adult--more than the law schools can say when they are producing a generation of un- or underemployed debt slaves. Maybe Nando, who is a bright guy, had that in mind as a metaphor.

  10. http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2011/mar/15/university-memphis-law-school-ranked-140th-nation/?partner=RSS

    William Kratzke, how are you doing today? How did the school end up in the fourth tier, after it was ranked 140th greatest in last year’s edition of the USN&WR rankings – especially after the significant upgrade in facilities?!?!


    “Teaching interests: Torts, Federal Income Taxation, Unfair Competition, and Economic Analysis of Law.

    Education: B.A., 1971, University of Washington; J.D., 1974, Valparaiso University; LL.M.., 1977, Georgetown University Law Center.

    Experience: Assistant Professor of Law, Oklahoma City University, 1977-79; joined The University of Memphis School of Law faculty in 1979; visiting Professor of Law, 1986-87, Santa Clara University.

    Admitted: Washington.

    Achievements/Publications: Co-author with Earl W. Kintner of three volumes of nine volumes treatise, Federal Antitrust Law (volume 6, 7, and 8); law review articles on trademark law, Federal Tort Claims Act, Tennessee administrative law, labor law, products liability law, and Russian law. He is a member of the American Law Institute. Fulbright Scholar, Spring 1997 and 2001-2002.

    Email: wkratzke@memphis.edu
    Phone: (901) 678-3221
    Office: Law 380”

    On May 29, 2012, the law school posted a press release, announcing that William Kratzke, i.e. the same person who visited this post earlier, has been named the interim dean of the law school. Do you suppose that he may have a direct interest in keeping the gravy train running?!?!


    “Professor William P. Kratzke has been named interim dean of the Cecil C. Humphreys School of Law at the University of Memphis. He will take office June 1, 2012, and will succeed Kevin Smith, who is returning full-time to teaching and research.”

  11. Memphis is really in the fourth tier?? I knew the reputation wasn't great but that's really a bottomfeeder ranking.

  12. @Nando July 18, 2012 6:41 AM

    Kevin Smith was dean of this school before Kratzke? No wonder this school is plummeting in the rankings, they let 'silent Bob' run the show!

  13. I am very surprised that one half of the graduating class did get a job requiring a legal degree (not merely tolerating it).

    That's quite a lot.

    In years to come, that will be seen as a high water mark, even for more prestigious schools (which almost every school out there is).

    Tier 2, we're talking about you.

  14. Jason Lee would've made a better dean at this fourth tier school. Mallrats is still one of my faves. Shit, the school could've been put in the mall! That would've saved the state lots of money. Go grab yourself a Jamba Juice in between torts and contract law. Get yourself a hotdog on a stick and some waffle fries for lunch. For those nights when you are burning the midnight oil in the library, you could walk over to the food court and get some Chick-fil-a.

    That would probably land a few students right there. Looks like these guys dropped the ball on this. Dummies.

  15. He is an expert in Tennessee Administrative Law? Are you kidding me? The idiot isn't even licensed to practice in Tennessee! Jesus, Dean "Billy", if you're reading this, was the Tennessee Bar Exam a little too tough for you? Did you fail--or did you just think it beneath you?

  16. Real Memphis is in EgyptJuly 18, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    At least if you go to Memphis, you can blow your student loan money on booze and barbecue.

    If these holes had any integrity, that'd be their biggest selling point: what you can do while burning fed loan money for 3 years. Instead, everyone is going to change the world and fight for dolphins and poor widows (protip: dolphins and poor widows do not pay the bills).

  17. Take yer smoked barbeque and git it outta here. Quick. Ya can stick it where da sun don't gotdayem shine for all I care, sumbitch. Da same goes fo' da guy mentionin' chick-fil-a and Hot Dog on a Muthafuckin' Stick. Heck, da Colonel'd be pleased to serve his heav'nly herbs 'n spices 'n shit to dis them there here college o' law.

    The Colonel'd be happy t' git that ol' contract to feed da precious lil' law students. Shit, jus' da fuckin' prospects is enuff to git da Colonel outta muthafuckin' 'tirement. C'mon up 'n git yerself some of mah grilled chickinz 'n some mash taters 'n fuckin' gravy. Hellz, I mights even toss in an 'xtra side fo' ya. Jus' don't be expectin' me t' toss ya salad er enny o' dat crazy shit. One time I did go down on a hot young thang in one a mah many stores once. But she couldn't pay 'n she was hot. So dat was an exception. Got dat? Now bring ya whole fuckin' family to meh res'raunt 'n sit yerselves down to a nice meal, muthafuckaz.

  18. http://www.ocregister.com/news/law-364364-school-faculty.html

    Follow the above link to find a disturbing story about how clueless law schools are about what really matters.

    Scholarly impact=ZERO benefit to law students.

    I hate these people, such a waste of money to have these tenured law professors around at full time pay, doing 3-6 hours of teaching a week. Hey, law professors, why don't you teach a law student how to write a real contract for a client? Oh, that's right, most of you have don't know how to practice law. Go write an article and think of some nonsensical ranking or award to give yourself.

    From the link:

    "Researchers Gregory Sisk, Valerie Aggerbeck, Debby Hackerson and Mary Wells used what's called the scholarly impact score to rank the law schools. The score and method were created by Brian Leiter, professor of jurisprudence at the University of Chicago Law School. The score measures the influence of the tenured law faculty of a law school by citations in the legal literature in the past five years, according to Sisk and his colleagues."

  19. What Leiter means by "scholarly impact" is the number of citations in other law review articles. It matters not to Leiter that most of this "scholarship" is read by precisely zero practicing lawyers.

    Alleged legal scholarship should, indeed, be judged for its impact on the profession. But you do not a ludicrous little freak and prestige-hound like Leiter to develop a fraudulent score meant to inflate the importance of himself and his fellow scammers.

    Westlaw can measure scholarly impact precisely-- a couple of simple keyword search will answer the following questions: how many times was an article or author cited by a reviewing court? and how many times was an article or author cited in a published administative opinion ("administrative decisions and guidance" in Westlaw nomenclature).

    So here are some prestige scores--

    Professor Neil Buchanan(GWU)-- has written 15 articles, a grand total of zero of which have been cited in a reviewing court decision. One Buchanan article was cited, once, in a GAO report.

    Professor Paul Horwitz (Ala.) 22 articles on constitutional law, yielding a grand total of zero citations. Not a single reviewing court or administrative agency, anywhere in the country, has ever found a single sentence written by Horwitz to be of any use.

    Professor Brian Leiter (Chi.) 58 articles, many on subjects of absolute irrelevance to the legal profession (even though published in law reviews) such as Nietzsche and postmodernity. Two of Leiter's articles have been cited by reviewing courts-- but, interestingly, both were articles that Leiter merely co-authored, and his co-author (Ronald Allen of Northwestern) actually knows something about practicing law, unlike Leiter.

  20. I think between this blog and Prof. Campos' blog, I am convinced that law school deans, administrators (e.g., CSO people, admissions, etc.) are unethical swine that has been feeding at the trough (federally backed taxpayer student loans) for long enough. As has been shown on this blog, the deans are often collecting half a million bucks (sometimes more) for fucking over young and old students while getting a paycheck elsewhere (e.g., Martin Belsky and his involvement with MLM schemes for legal services). Then you have Rutgers-Camden misreporting data to USNWR and the ABA on purpose for 3 years and no one is punished or held accountable. This is a FILTHY business that is run by people that would make Bernie Madoff seem like a saint.

  21. Thanks for all you do, Nando!

  22. People lie whenever there's this much money at stake. Law professors are selfish liars. That doesn't make them much different from most groups. I think the reason people rake profs over the coals is because they try to convince their victims they're doing a public service. And they also feed on the naivete of young students. If you want to save the world, the law schools will pull at your heartstrings.

    I graduated from this law school when the school was still Memphis State University. Back then, the school was okay if you just wanted to practice law. You could take on some court-appointed clients. Or work the DUI and traffic dockets. But tuition was dirt cheap back then too. If you had great people skills and were competent, you could even have a chance to be a trial court judge or ALJ. I don't think those opportunities exist for 99.99% of these students now. Maybe if your daddy is some bigwig and you couldn't get into a better school, but that's about it.

    I don't donate to my alma mater. To see it in the fourth tier is upsetting. Law is a crapshoot. It takes a toll on you emotionally and mentally. I have two ex-wives to prove it. I don't blame that on law school. I chose to enter this awful profession. But if you're considering law school you should know that before you sign on the dotted line.

  23. Check out this silly “review” of Cecil C. Humphreys Sewer of Law:


    “Students Say - Campus Life

    Since moving to downtown Memphis, the University of Memphis Cecil C. Humphreys School "has gained a huge advantage over other schools around the country." A"$42 million renovation to the historic riverfront Customs House transformed the University of Memphis law school" into a state-of-the-art campus with the most up-to-date resources and technology. One U of M student describes the move with the following anecdote: "A fellow classmate said moving to the new law building was like going from coach to owning your own jet." I don't think his statement gives it justice." However, despite the fancy new locale and equipment, the tight-knit atmosphere at U of M hasn't changed. Students at the University of Memphis have always "created a warm community." "Even the most competitive and bright students are willing to help others."

    No one will give a damn that they attended class in a fancy building - or that they had a sense of “community” - when they are jumping to various temp hag agencies, after graduation. Also, this commode is now in the fourth tier cesspool.

    This embarrassing drivel continues:

    “The school provides "a very diverse student body coming from many different backgrounds (urban/rural, ethnic, income, political spectrum), yet retains a positive balance of competition and cohesion." While there "is healthy competition at our school," students "have an energizing camaraderie among them. We are all willing to help one another succeed." The law school environment may be "very competitive," but there is "a family aspect as well." Many students "have formed close bonds with each other and spend a lot of time outside of class." In addition, "There are endless eating and social venues within walking distance of the law school." Also, "The students get together every Thursday night." Being in downtown Memphis "is awesome; we have so many places to go to lunch and hang out and we are intermingling with the rest of the legal community. Also the social scene in Memphis is really cool if you ever get time to play."

    In the final analysis, sane people of modest means go to law school so that they can become attorneys. If your family has wealth, then you might enroll as an afterthought. Who wants to incur a mountain of NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, in order to sell insurance, become a doc review monkey or go into hotel management?!?! News flash, lemmings: you can discover nice dining places without going to law school!!

    If you enjoy pissing away your future for a pathetic TTTT law degree – and you love sweltering heat and fattening Southern food – then you may want to enroll in this steaming dung pit. The pigs will be more than happy to accept your student loan money. After all, they get paid well – even if you graduate with anemic job prospects or cannot draft a basic motion to produce.

  24. Memphis is an ugly city. I wouldn't go here if it was a real law school.

  25. I just read the entire opinion dismissing the class action lawsuit against Cooley. The Court painstakingly went out of its way to find an out for Cooley. First the Court stated that a legal education is not a consumer good but rather something acquired for a business purpose, therefore, outside of the scope of consumer fraud protection laws. Then, the Court explained how Cooley's employment (rate of employment, starting salary, etc.) numbers could be true if they were based on what was reported to them. The decision also cites Melvin Schweitzer's misguided dismissal of the lawsuit against NYLS.

    Can you imagine if these "reasons" were applied to pharma litigation? I can see it now:

    Court: Your drug claims that it cures Cancer 100% with no side effects. What was this representation based on?

    BigPharma: We ran the drug through clinical trials and we had a 100% success rate.

    Court: How many people participated in the clinical trials?

    BigPharma: One.

    Court: Ok, counsel for Plaintiff, your lawsuit is dismissed as BigPharma's 100% success rate is based on true data.

    The decision is pure bullshit. I don't expect the Courts to slam the law schools as many of these schools pay honorariums to these judges for speaking engagements and it would expose the legal education structure as a complete scam. Many of these judges were byproducts of the scam. They will not destroy the same legal education/system that propped them to wear a black robe.

    Nando, et al., do not be discouraged by the Court's decision. It was expected. Many of you have done more than these Courts could ever do and that is shed light on the scam. These schools are in panic mode. With less than a month left for law school orientation, many schools are struggling to fill their seats. Some deans are actually doing "work" by manning the phones and reaching out to 0Ls who haven't committed yet. The schools are offering free Ipads, Itunes, casebooks, discounted tuition to put asses in seats. The law scam movement accomplished this by being persistent and tenacious. Sure the NYTimes, Wall Street Journal, Forbes and Prof. Campos shed legitimacy on the movement but people like Nando are the grassroots of what is happening. I for one, cannot wait to see what enrollment numbers look like a month from now. A day of reckoning is coming and many heads are going to roll.

  26. ^link?

    Nando, you're too polished. So let me say it. Melvin Schweitzer, you are a piece of shit.

  27. Nando, I expect you to profile Judge Gordon Quist, the author of the decision dismissing the lawsuit against Cooley. Judge Quist committed a harmful error in not letting a jury decide whether a legal education is a consumer good. For example, Federal law and most federal courts consider student loans to be consumer loans, not business loans. See In re Wisher, 222 B.R. 634 (Bankr. D.Colo. 1998); In re Vianese, 192 B.R. 61 (Bankr. N.D.N.Y. 1996). Given that student loans are used for consumer expenses such as room and board, it was premature for Judge Quist to grant a 12(b)(6) motion. The question of whether a legal education is a consumer good should have been decided by a jury. I agree that Judge Quist drafted a a convenient decision that was tailored to favor the law school scam. Sure he made reference to Cooley in a negative way but in the end, he leaned in its favor. The notion that a college or legal education is for a business purpose is ridiculous. If Judge Quist is correct, then how come students can't apply for a business loan with the Small Business Administration? Again, the decision upholds a corrupt system that propelled these "judges" to be figures of authority. Why would the condemn or criticize the same system that empowers them?

  28. @ July 21 9:52 PM

    You are a genius. You have hit the nail on the head.

    If federal loans are business loans and not consumer loans, then they should clearly be allowed to be discharged in bankruptcy.

    If its a business purpose, then no one holding a JD degree should, by law, be denied from getting a SBA business loan for a solo practice, etc.

    Convoluted, twisting legal logic at its best in favor of the law school scam.

    So which is it?


    ohiodocreviewer (Jul 21, 2012 - 1:15 am)

    Yet previously, the judge in the NYLS opinion said that students who enroll in law schools are sophisticated consumers. So which is it? Are students who enroll at schools like Cooley and NYLS savvy consumers who sign up well aware of potential risks or are these students negligent twits gulled by cooked stats that were so slanted or so incomplete that no one should have ever believed them in the first place?


    He's also right again here:

    ohiodocreviewer (Jul 21, 2012 - 12:07 am)

    The battle against the law school scam won't be won in the courts. The judges (whether conservative, moderate, or liberal) are in the back pocket of the ABA, the law school deans, and the legal-educational industry. Judges, more than almost anyone else in law today, are "winners" under the current legal order. Does anyone really think they're going take a stand (however mild) against the hand that feeds them?

    The battle against the law school scam will be won in the media, and the marketplace.


    Nando, please profile Mr. (with all disrespect in not using his title..) Quist.

    This is shameful, shameful, shameful. Expected, but absolutely shameful.


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