Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Profiles in Rampant Dishonesty: Victoria Pynchon of Solo Practice University
Writing for ForbesWoman, Victoria Pynchon allowed a guest post from an idiot who will start law school in Fall 2012. The piece is entitled “Is Law School Still a Golden Ticket?” Read this pathetic opening:
“Whatever anyone says, I want my Golden Ticket.
That’s why I’ve decided to go to law school.
Like little Charlie Bucket in Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, I believe my golden ticket is my big chance to make my way.
Against popular opinion, and even the American Bar Association’s reports on the unemployment rate for newly minted J.D.s, I still romantically believe that law school has value and presents opportunities I may not have otherwise.”
If your son or daughter is this naïve and stupid in middle school, then you seriously need to re-assess how you raised your kid. Then, open the trunk of your car, grab a lug nut wrench, and smack yourself over the head with it 10-15 times. In the event that your child is this damn dumb as a college graduate, do the world a favor and shoot yourself. You have clearly failed as a parent and mentor, and you have nothing to offer this world. Yet, for $ome rea$on, Cockroach Melvin Schweitzer feels that this group, i.e. college grads, is comprised of “sophisticated consumers.”
Jessi Freud, plenty of people attended law school, in order to help “the little guy.” Not everyone enrolled wants to fellate/represent the plethora of corporate pigs and criminals in this nation. However, you need to realize that you will be defending broke bastards, deadbeats, and bums. Is that how you want to subsist?!?! The biggest problem is that roughly 200 ABA-accredited law school diploma mills are pumping out FAR TOO MANY GRADS, for the available number of attorney openings, each year!!
Critical Coverage of Pynchon’s Article:
On June 21, 2012, Paul Campos posted an entry labeled “A brief note for Jessi Freud et. al.” Check out Pynchon’s comment to readers, which LawProf correctly describes as “Pynchon [advising] aspiring lawyers to commit malpractice in order to learn their trade”:
“You try your first case alone with butterflies in your stomach, your hands shaking and your armpits sweating. One old grizzled defense attorney told me that if you didn’t gag over your toothbrush the first day of trial, you shouldn’t be trying cases anymore; you’d lost your edge. You enroll at Solo Practice University. You join Bar associations. You stay up all night reading. You pick up the telephone and ask for help. You start with small cases. You’re not representing people in capital murder cases. There’s not that much you can screw up. Just don’t blow the statute of limitations.” [Emphasis in original]
Why would this dumbass encourage newly-minted lawyers to enroll in $olo Practice Univer$ity?!?!
The Swine’s Background:
“Victoria is an attorney-mediator with experience in complex commercial litigation and trial advocacy. She will teach a course called 'The Art of the Deposition' at Solo Practice University®.” [Emphasis mine]
As you can see, Pynchon the Shill works for this company. What a beacon of integrity, huh?!?! Surely, that is not a conflict of interest.
Does anyone else notice the strong resemblance to the two-headed bitch named Kimber Russell?
Check out this comical clip from Pynchon's bio:
“After a 25-year commercial litigation career, Victoria earned her legal masters degree in dispute resolution from the world-famous Straus Institute at Pepperdine University School of Law. The knowledge, wisdom and skills she gained at Straus can be found in her two books on dispute resolution, The Grownups' ABCs of Conflict Resolution (Reason Press, 2010) and Success as a Mediator for Dummies (Wiley, 2012).”
Yes, readers of this blog are fully aware of the “prestigious” nature of Pepperdine University Sewer of Law. Who wouldn’t want to enroll in a grossly overpriced toilet affiliated with the Churche$ of Chri$t?!?!
Conclusion: Jessi Frued is a well-meaning fool. The main point is that it is intellectually dishonest and irresponsible for Victoria Pynchon – who is associated with Solo Practice University – to encourage such a person to pursue their moronic goals. If a friend or family member told me that they were going to quit their decent, secure job – in order to pursue their dream of becoming a Hollywood actor or chess grandmaster – I would explain to them that their goals are unrealistic and not attainable. If they insisted in their stupidity, I would then grab that person by the scruff of the neck and shake the hell out of him.
Perhaps, the comparison of a “legal education” to a golden ticket is fitting. After all, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a work of fantasy. The novel was written for children. If you earnestly believe that a law degree from Fourth Tier Nova Southeastern University is a ticket to a better life, then you truly are crazier than Gene Wilder, in his portrayal of the fictional Willy Wonka.
Posted by Nando at 8:31 AM