Saturday, September 28, 2013
First Tier Bovine Excrement: University of Texas School of Law
Tuition: Texas residents attending this school on a full-time basis will be charged $33,162 in tuition – for the 2013-2014 academic year. Non-resident, full-time law students will be grabbing their ankles at the rate of $49,244, for 2013-2014. It’s nice to see that this public univer$ity is looking out for the students, right?!?!
Estimated Total Cost of Attendance: According to this same document, indirect expenses will amount to $21,174 for out-of-state, full-time students and $20,374 for in-state, full-time law students for the current school year. The public toilet lists the estimated COA for Texas residents as $53,536, whereas non-residents will face $70,418 in total expenses.
Keep in mind that ABA-accredited diploma mills base living costs off of a nine-month academic year. Seeing that actual students will require 12 month expenses, we need to prorate the following items: room & board; travel; and miscellaneous. Doing so, we reach the subsequent, more accurate figures. In-state, full-time law students at the Univer$ity of Texa$ will have a total budget of $59,463, and non-resident, full-time students will have a total COA of $76,345 for one damn year of “legal education.” What a bargain, huh?!?!
Ranking: Vagina Bob Morse and US “News” & World Report list the Univer$ity of Texa$ $chool of Law as the 15th best law school in the country. In fact, it only shares this rating with one other ABA-accredited money pit, i.e. Vanderbilt University, which is located in cosmopolitan Nashville, Tennessee.
Published Employment Statistics: There were 373 members of the University of Texas JD Class of 2012. Damn, that’s a lot of people! Of that amount, 343 were employed in some capacity. Only three graduates did not supply their job status to the school. As a result, the “placement” rate for this cohort was 92.7 percent, i.e. 343/370.
By the way, this supposed 15th best law school in the nation resorted to hiring 21 of its Class of 2012 grads in law school or university-funded positions! Only two of the posts were full-time and long-term. The remaining 19 jobs are listed as full-time and short-term. Yes, the pigs hired 5.6% of the entire big-ass cohort, i.e. 21/373. Without these direct placements, only 87 percent of the class would have been employed within nine months of graduation, i.e. 322/370.
Scroll down to Employment Type. Notice that a total of 187 JDs from the Class of 2012 ended up working in private law firms. If your goal is to go into such a law practice, you had a roughly 50% chance of doing so, coming out of the 15th most amazing law school in the United States.
Of that figure, two desperate souls opened up solo practices, 46 went to work for toilet law shops with 2-10 lawyers, another 19 found employment with offices of 11-25 attorneys, and seven JDs were hired by firms with 26-50 lawyers. On the high end, 22 grads became associates in firms of 251-500 attorneys - while 69 were hired by Biglaw. If you want to land such employment, your odds were 18.5 percent - i.e. 69/373 - if you were a member of the University of Texas JD Class of 2012. Do you still want to take this risky gamble, ass-clown?!
Average Law Student Indebtedness: USN&WR lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the UT-Austin Law Class of 2012 who incurred debt for law school - as $86,312. $omehow, only 74 percent of this school’s 2012 class took on such foul debt. Remember that this figure does not include undergraduate debt – and it also does not take accrued interest into account.
Faculty and Administrator Salaries: Let’s see how well the academic thieves/filthy swine are doing, in comparison to their students. For this info, we head to the Collegiate Times Salary Database. The following figures are from 2010, the most recent year available. The numbers do not take bonuses, benefits or other compensation into account.
Sasquatch Lawrence Sager made $374,167 as dean. Robert Bone and his yellow teeth, big-ass nose and ratty mustache raked in $252,500 - in his role as the G. Rollie White Teaching “Excellence“ Chair in Law. Ronen Avraham received $251,389 as something called the “Thomas Shelton Maxey professor in law.” How can a group of pigs who each make at least $250K annually not use any of those funds to buy decent haircuts or dentist visits?!?! Harry Martin - now described as an adjunct “professor” - somehow “earned” $250,000 as interim director of the law library. Yes, that must an incredibly challenging job!
Conclusion: The Univer$ity of Texa$ $chool of Law is an overpriced public commode. If you do not come from a wealthy family, then you will essentially be required to incur an additional $90K-$125K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt for a chance to practice law. Don’t forget that more than a quarter of the Class of 2012 did not take out any student loans for their law degrees. This means that you will be competing with connected, rich kids for good jobs. Unlike you, those boys and girls can rely on their wealthy father to call in a favor in order to get them a position.
Do…you…understand…that, Bitch?!?! Or do I need to draw you a diagram with Crayola on poster-board, so that it will penetrate your gray matter? For the benefit of the tools who are intent on attending this school, I post the following list. Your rich classmates have the following advantages over you: (a) they will not take on any student debt; (b) these coddled kids do not necessarily need to have stellar undergrad GPAs and top LSAT scores to gain admission; (c) once in school, they do not need to study hard or earn the best grades; (d) the spoiled brats do not need to “network” since they already know influential people well; (e) they speak the language of the elite pigs and they share the same culture, worldview and mannerisms; and (f) they have employment lined up.
In fact, these privileged children can get drunk every night and spend their days, nights and weekends chasing pussy and playing video games. You, on the other hand, will spend countless hours in the library. Furthermore, YOU will be expected to “work hard” and make connections. Guess what, genius? Those who already have money and/or access to power BEFORE attending law school are way ahead of you. They have several significant advantages over your debt-strapped ass in the job market.
Posted by Nando at 6:05 AM