Friday, October 11, 2013
First Tier Protestant Meconium: Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law
Tuition: Students enrolled in this private commode will be slapped with a big-ass tuition bill of $46,519 - for the 2013-2014 school year. In good news, part-time law students at SMU will only have a crowbar shoved up their anus to the tune of $34,889 for the 2013-2014 academic year. It’s nice to see an ‘institution of higher education” puts its students’ interests first, right?!?!
Total Cost of Attendance: According to this same document, indirect expenses will add $20,238 to the price tag. Books are estimated at $2,000, while living costs are listed as $15,500 and miscellaneous expenses are set at $2,738. As such, the published, total COA for full-time suckers is $66,757.
Keep in mind that ABA-accredited diploma mills and trash pits base these costs on a nine-month basis. Since actual students will require year-round expenses, we will prorate living and miscellaneous expenses - in order to reach a more accurate figure. Doing so, the estimated COA for full-time law students at SMU is $72,837 - for 2013-2014. Yes, that is one hell of a bargain, huh?!?!
Ranking: Bob Morse and his fellow hags at US “News” & World Report list $outhern Methodi$t Univer$ity Dead Man Walking Sewer of Law as the 48th greatest, most sensational and exhilarating law school in the entire United States. In fact, this toilet shares this distinct honor with the following four law schools: Florida State, Tulane, UC Hastings and the University of Houston.
Published Employment “Placement” Statistics: Looking at the Class of 2012 Employment Report, you will immediately note that there were 293 members of this massive cohort. Of that figure, a total of 273 graduates found a job of some sort within nine months of receiving their law degree. This represents 93.2% of the class. Hell, the garbage heap only placed three of these JDs in law school or university funded positions.
Scroll down to Employment Type. You will notice that 166 grads from this class found employment in private law firms. Five desperate fools decided to open solo practices, while 75 damn people went to work for law firms of 2-10 attorneys. Another 27 were hired by firms of 11-25 lawyers. Only 24 found employment in law offices with more than 500 attorneys.
SMU Law’s “Test Drive” Program:
Back on May 19, 2010, Elie Mystal posted an epic ATL post entitled “SMU Will Pay You Hire Their Graduates.” Take a look at this killer opening:
“It was only a matter of time.
SMU Dedman School of Law is now officially willing to pay law firms to hire its graduates. The school is calling its new program “Test Drive,” which adds a nice layer of hilarity: Toyota wouldn’t pay me to test drive a Camry.
Even the logo for this program screams sadness:
Let’s look at the blast email from SMU career services…
This program is a shameless attempt to game the U.S. News rankings. SMU essentially admits as much in the opening paragraph of its Test Drive pitch:
We are pleased to report that over 97% of our graduates in the SMU Dedman School of Law Class of 2009 were employed nine months after graduation, and we want to support the Class of 2010 toward equally strong employment. To this goal, we initiated Test Drive, which allows employers to evaluate the legal knowledge, skills, work ethic and professionalism of our recent December 2009 or May 2010 graduates on a “no strings attached” basis.” [Emphasis mine]
Does anyone with an IQ above room temperature believe these pigs resorted to this filth, because they care about the students’ outcomes?!?! [Hint: It is MUCH more likely that I am writing this entry as Lauren Graham has her ankles locked around my waist.]
Average Law Student Indebtedness: US “News” lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the $MU Dead Man Walking Law Class of 2012 who incurred debt for law school - as $113,266. Yet, only 70 percent of this school’s 2012 class took on such foul debt. Remember that this figure does not include undergraduate debt – and it also does not take accrued interest into account.
Conclusion: Avoid this Texas dung heap at all costs. You will not be served well by incurring an additional $120K-$165K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt for a chance to practice law. Again, fully 30% of the last graduating class did not take on any debt for their degree. What does that tell you, Lemming?!?!
If YOU do not come from a wealthy family, then you are facing several significant disadvantages. These include the following: (a) those boys and girls graduate with no student debt; (b) they do not need to bust their asses to earn stellar grades; (c) they have no need to start “networking” from day one of law school; and (d) their parents can get them a good job simply by making a few phone calls to their friends. Yet, you will be expected to compete with those connected, rich kids for the available number of legal job openings. Lastly, don’t forget that Texas is the SEVENTH-MOST GLUTTED lawyer job market in the nation, according to Economic Modeling Specialists.
Posted by Nando at 6:17 AM