Friday, May 16, 2014

First Tier Waste Bin: University of Washington School of Law

Tuition: In-state students attending this public toilet full-time will be charged $30,891 in tuition, for the 2013-2014 school year. Non-resident, full-time victims were bent over a coffee table, at the rate of $43,932 – for 2013-2014. Yes, state schools are so affordable, right?!?!

Estimated Cost of Attendance: On this same document, the pigs claim that other budget items will amount to another $18,843 in expenses. As such, the total COA for Washington residents will reach $49,734, whereas out-of-state students will be slammed with $62,775 in total costs. What a tremendous bargain!

However, ABA-accredited trash pits base their living expenses on a nine-month academic calender. Actual law students will require costs over twelve months, correct? We will pro-rate the following items, in order to reflect reality: room and board; personal expenses; and transportation. Doing so, we reach the following, more accurate estimates: $55,613 for in-state, full-time students and $68,654 for full-time, non-resident lemmings. Who wouldn’t want to attend this toilet, at this price tag?!?!

Ranking: As you can see, US “News” & World Report rates the Univer$ity of Wa$hington Sewer of Law as the 24th greatest, most spectacular and amazing law school in the United States. Hell, it only shares that honor with one other law school, i.e. the College of William and Mary.

Employment Placement Statistics: Let’s review the Employment Summary for 2013 graduates at the University of Washington Sewer of Law. You will note that there were a total of 183 members of this cohort. The school supposedly has the status of everyone in the class. Of that figure, 131 were in positions where bar passage was required. Also, 22 men and women were unemployed after nine months of receiving their first tier law degree. That represents a placement rate of 88.5 percent.

At least the bitches and hags did not artificially inflate their placement figures by putting grads in law school or university funded jobs. Although, only 73 members of the 2013 class landed positions in private law firms! That means that these victims had less than a 40% chance of finding such work – and that includes the six desperate solo practitioners and the 17 who were hired in firms of 2-10 attorneys. This also takes connected kids into account – and their grades or work ethic don’t mean much.

Average Law Student Indebtedness: US “News” lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the University of Washington JD Class of 2013 who incurred debt for law school - as $100,867. In fact, a mere 79 percent of this commode’s 2013 class took on such putrid debt. Remember that this figure does not include undergraduate debt – and it also does not take accrued interest into account, while the student is enrolled.

The Commode’s Commitment to “Public Service”: In the swine’s own words:

“Public service is a core value of the UW School of Law. A key pillar of the law school’s mission to be Leaders for the Global Common Good is the commitment to Generous Public Service.

We realize our commitment to Generous Public Service in many ways. To fulfill the Juris Doctor requirement, every student performs 60 hours of public service legal work. The public service requirement provides them with the opportunity to witness the importance of public service and thereby deepens their commitment to justice and the rule of law.”

This is actually one of the hallmarks of a TTT or fourth tier trash pit. By the way, if you want to do some public service, go serve food to bums in a soup kitchen – or volunteer to read to disabled children. Hell, even the people – especially the lazy pigs in management - who get paid to do such work often don’t care about their clients. They simply need warm bodies to “serve,” in order to justify their salaries.

Conclusion: This is a trap school that will not help your career prospects – especially if you are not from the state of Washington. Remember, more than one-fifth of the 2013 graduating class did not take on an additional dime of student debt. That might just be a clue that these are the same people who can rely on daddy to make a few phone calls, in order to land them a good job. In other words, their grades and class rank don’t matter, dolt. So, go out there and commit yourself to finishing in the top ten percent of your cohort. Don’t forget that you will also be competing against the occasional female lawyer with great legs and firm breasts – for the relative few openings. Good luck with that, sucker.

Again, if you want to engage in public service, go volunteer a few hours a week for a worthy cause – while you remain at a real job, i.e. one that pays the bills and provides you with some leisure time. You simply DO NOT NEED to incur an additional $110K-$160K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt to do good deeds, moron. Would you spend $20K on a big-ass diamond ring to marry some plain Jane, merely because she has high arches or freckles on her shoulders?!?! If not, then don’t even consider pissing away three years of your life – and going through financial hell – for a school that prides itself on its false commitment to “social justice.”


  1. Slight amendment to this article:

    "By the way, if you want to do some public service, go serve food to bums in a soup kitchen – instead of becoming one of those bums yourself."

  2. Let's stop referring to fifty-school "tiers" as defined by You Ass News. The tiers run as follows:

    First: Harvard and Yale, maybe also Stanford
    Second: about half a dozen other institutions
    Third: maybe ten more
    Fourth: all others

    By that standard, the U of Washington is at the top of the fourth tier.

  3. Looks like the perfect school for landing a $20/hr doc review job with no benefits or job security whatsoever. Maybe that's what they mean with their commitment to public service. Sure, it's a humble life. But think of how much money and drudgery you'll be saving the white shoe firms from doing their dirty work.

    1. Dead-on.

      The perfect school to get trapped in shitlaw for eternity (until death) saddled with 6 figures of non-dischargeble student loans while the profs bank an easy 6 figures working 4-6 hours per week.

      With all that extra time available to them, why aren't they doing some major hours in the soup kitchens? Lol! Yeah, right..

      Public service my ass...

      Only if it's being paid 6 figures as a law skule professor, minimal effort, minimal work, and on the backs of innumerable young people's futures they've destroyed.


      That's what academic liberals consider "public service". But what they write in the glossy brochure and sell to naive, unconnected students is a different matter. That's public service for proles.

      Assholes. All of them. Fucking assholes.

    2. Slimy, despicable maggots one and all. It's like what Gunnery Sergeant Hartman said in Full Metal Jacket:

      "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around."

      Think about it. Law school forced me to take useless perspective courses like jurisprudence and legal history instead of teaching me Relativity, Kroll or Concordance. The least those sonsofbitches could do is provide their graduates with some skills that would give them a leg up when they enter the shitlaw jungle.

  4. Your analysis is flawed. First of all, you may not even get poo-law. In fact, you may not even be able to pass the bar once you get out. Therefore, good luck on getting Doc Review (which, in my experience requires experience to get, the ultimate catch-22). Also, good luck getting poo-law. Again, most legal employers want the moon and a few stars on the side.

    Nando is spot on about the volunteering in a soup kitchen bit. Heck, there's a ton of other places one can volunteer that may end up in a job and not require $150-300k in debt.

    1. Mr infinity, I am kind of sorry to see you reached this level. I always respected your positive Outlook even if somewhat misplaced. Optimism is still a better mental outlook, but it needs to be tempered with reality. There will alway be people who win in the law, even from the unranked toilets, and there will be people who lose. For those who have their degrees, defeat need not be accepted. Study for and pass the bar and go solo if you must. Better than selling coffee and people who can talk to others just might make a good living. Nothing is a given of course, but buying into and accepting failure without giving a go of it?

  5. How many of their profe$$ors do sixty hours of public service in their entire fucking careers?

    1. Bingo!

      How many of these underworked, overpaid law professor assholes serves soup to (in Nando's words) bums? Or other charitable organizations?

      It's not like these guys are working 40 hours a week. And they get summers off. What do they do in all that free time?

  6. Here's the bastards' reasoning -

    'Let me charge you $40K+ per year for three years, fill your mind with legal minutia and then get you to believe we care about public service.'

    It's rubbish. Pure rubbish.

  7. Why do law schools that charge an arm and a leg, always tout public interest? It is ridiculous. None of the law deans or law professors have taken a vow of poverty. What they have done is lavish perks upon themselves. Six figures to teach 3-6 hours a week, unless of course if it summer or sabbatical time where they don't have to work at all.

  8. 'Would you spend $20K on a big-ass diamond ring to marry some plain Jane, merely because she has high arches...'

    I thought that's why you fucked Cryn Johansen.

  9. Can I complete my 60 hours of public service by boozing in a bar and telling others not to drive after drinking? Technically, I am witnessing the important public service of refreshments and drunk driving is certainly a legal matter. Also, since I will be volunteering my time, the tab should be paid by the school(within reason, of course).

  10. From the University of Oregon Law School website, here is how you may get in contact with Prof. Rob Illig:

    Phone: (541) 346-1723

  11. Let’s take a peak at some of the garbage law journals offered at this commode:

    If you are ever out of toilet paper, you can wipe your ass with something called the Pacific Rim Law & Policy Journal. From the school’s description:

    “The Pacific Rim Law & Policy Journal is published three times a year by students of the University of Washington School of Law. This peer reviewed Journal features analysis of legal issues and developments in jurisdictions bordering the Pacific Ocean, including Asia, Oceania, and South American countries.

    We welcome the submission of articles involving issues of domestic law in a Pacific Rim nation or an issue of international or comparative law relating to one or more Pacific Rim nations. We also welcome the submission of English translations of Asian language legal sources and scholarship. The Journal is available in both print and online.”

    Has Oceania always been at war with Eastasia? Or has the enemy always been Eurasia?

    If you like convoluted names, then you will enjoy the Washington Journal of Law, Technology & Arts. Review this recent article synopsis:

    “The Internet and the Constitution: A Selective Retrospective

    M. Margaret McKeown
    9 Wash. J.L. Tech. & Arts 133

    Constitutional & Regulatory

    Over the last two decades, the Internet and its associated innovations have rapidly altered the way people around the world communicate, distribute and access information, and live their daily lives. Courts have grappled with the legal implications of these changes, often struggling with the contours and characterization of the technology as well as the application of constitutional provisions and principles. Judge M. Margaret McKeown of the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit has had a close-up view of many of these Internet-era innovations and the way the courts have addressed them. In this Article, adapted from her October 2013 Roger L. Shidler Lecture at the University of Washington School of Law, Judge McKeown offers her retrospective thoughts on the way courts have handled constitutional issues in Internet cases. She also discusses some of the challenges currently facing courts and legislators alike as the U.S. legal system incorporates and accommodates Internet-based technologies and the societal, commercial, governmental, and relational changes they spawn.”

    Since this piece of garbage is not worthy of touching a human’s ass, you may wish to use a printed copy to line your cat’s litter box. Then again, if the animal is healthy and keeps mice away, this publication is substandard for that purpose as well.

  12. jeez, it seems there are more law schools than Subway franchises.

  13. Wouldn't trust any of their employment stats. Remember, this is the school that reported 18% of its 2009 class got an Art. III clerkship:

    To my knowledge, this was never corrected or explained.

    Also see Campos on UW's employment reporting:

  14. When's the Homer J. Simpson College of Law coming to Springfield?

  15. One lawyer for every 300 people in the US, and half of them are solo. Great stuff:

    The attorney reporter and for some reason, once-did felt the need to tell me that she did some careful research, and that the recognized definition of "lawyer" is an ABA school grad, but the "Attorney" by definition is one who has passed the BAR and is also a lawyer (having gotten the degree beforehand) So Adams and I are "lawyers" according to that woman, the source, and so is Nando, and the three of us ain't passed no bar nohow.

    For that matter, and following that statement and assuming it is accurate, how many law professors are lawyers and not attorneys by definition?

    Go ask the smart people at OLSS if you care to, all of whom have consented to publicly slandering my family with comments about my grandfather sucking cocks in a construction toilet and sticking his fingers up the asses of ironworkers, and with Adam B as their front man.

    But then again, the founding fathers didn't have to sit through a bar exam and were lawyers by some antique definition.

    Time for a relaxing break in the action, so here is HC and Memphis in June:

    Billy Joel is a good enough songwriter and commercially successful and I often walk my dog past his storefront in Oyster Bay, NY, which is packed with tons of motorcycles. But Billy Joel is no Hoagy Carmichael and never will be, and I hope that Billy Joel will finally buy the right motorcycle, or the next motorcycle, or the next one, that will make him and all of his money happy.

    1. @ YouTubeRoach,

      Did it ever occur to you that "the smart people at OLSS" succeeded in keeping you away by allowing the comment about your grandfather?

      It's like hanging up a cross to keep Dracula away. IT WORKS - and you haven't posted there since.

      Maybe every site on the internet should post that comment. Then you might just quit playing on the Internet all day and find a J-O-B.

  16. It seems that even shitty b-school's aren't as bad as law-schools these days.

    That's sad.

  17. 408,

    You aren't a lawyer. You're a fucking bum. Let us hope for Billy Joel's sake that you never wind up living in HIS house. Eating his food. Spending his money.

    Draining him dry.

    As for OLSS, you have posted that "cocksucking grampa" story more times than anyone else on the internet. I think you must secretly like it.

  18. I, too, hope Billy Joel gets that motorcycle he has been dreaming of. That has been on my mind a lot lately.


    Let’s take a look at the ATL “Insider Reviews” from students and alumni of the Univer$ity of Wa$hington Sewer of Law. First, we’ll check out those listed under the Alumni Tab:

    “It is an extremely regional school. Graduates do very well in the Pacific Northwest but not as well elsewhere.”

    “We had three different deans while I went to UWLS. I understand that the Career Services office has gone through changes since I left. The individuals who worked there provided very little advice beyond referring us a book about networking. I actually worked retail before I found a job, and I believe that Career Services counted my 20 hours a week as my being “employed” for the purposes of their statistics. While I like the school, I still have complaints about how they handle financial aid and career services & counseling.”

    So much for that overall #24 ranking from US “News” & World Report. How the hell can a law school be rated this high and still be a regional school? By the way, handing students a book about “networking” does not qualify either as productive or work, Career Services pigs.

    Now to the Students tab:

    “If you are not planning to work in the Seattle area, UW’s “prestige” may not be as useful as you would hope. If you are going to UW and planning to practice in another state, you may have a difficult time finding a job because the University’s contacts are few and far between.”

    “The Career Services Office sucks, but what school’s office doesnt? Other than that, the UW is a great school.”

    Again, if you want to practice law with a JD from UW, then you better keep your ass in the Seattle area – or at least remain in the state. Then again, you may have some luck in Oregon, as well. Have fun taking on $110K-$160K in additional NON–DISCHARGEABLE debt, for a law degree from a regional school – even though it is allegedly the 24th greatest, most splended law school in the country.

  20. If it's not HYS or Notre Dame or another school with a big alumni base all over the fucking country, it's a regional school.

    1. HYS, CCN, MV. Not sure about the rest.

    2. HYS, Chicago, Columbia, Michigan, possibly a few others.

  21. You might have luck in Idaho or Montana as well. That is, if you are in the top of your class and awesome at "networking."

  22. More deans are quitting.... Kinda like the ODESSA File, running for Argentina.


    On April 10, 2013, Dan Filler posted a Faculty Lounge entry entitled “New Law School Rankings: Employment Data Cleaned Of School Funded Jobs” This article is based off of each ABA-accredited diploma mill’s Class of 2012 ABA Employment Report. As the text and title make clear, the figures pertain to JD Required positions that are full-time, long term - and exclude law school funded jobs.

    Under these measures, the University of Washington Sewer of Law had the 31st best placement rate, with 67.96% of 2012 grads landing real jobs. Keep in mind that "long-term" may mean that the position will last one year.

    Plus, as others have noted, this is a regional toilet, i.e. you are pretty much relegated to practicing law in the Pacific Northwest - if you are lucky enough to land such a position. Could you imagine if a medical school that was ranked just outside the top 10 percent of schools was "regional"?!?!

  24. I'm more interested in the legal technology that deals with eDiscovery.


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