Sunday, June 22, 2014
First Tier Foul Stool: Florida State University College of Law
Tuition: The pigs at this commode list the tuition rate on an hourly basis. Florida residents will be charged $686.39 per credit hour, while out-of-state law students will be hit with $1353.46 per unit. As such, in state, full-time students will face a tuition bill of $20,591.70, whereas nonresident, full-time victims will be slapped with $40,603.80 in fees. Who says that public $chool$ are affordable?!?!
Ranking: At such prohibitive costs, one would expect this “institution of higher education” to have one hell of a reputation among the legal and academic communities. According to US “News” & World Report, Florida $tate Univer$ity Commode of Law is rated as the 45th greatest, most remarkable and sensational law school in the entire nation. What a tremendous accomplishment, huh?!?!
Then again, this is the highest-ranked law school in the state of Florida. Let that sink in for a moment. There are 11 ABA-accredited toilets located in the state – and the “best” trash pit is rated 45th overall. At least, other populous states – such as California, Illinois, Texas and New York – each have at least one damn law school listed in the top 15 diploma mills in the U.S.
Supposed Employment Placement Rate: On this page, labeled “Employment Data for Recent Graduates,” direct your attention to the JD Class of 2012. You will notice that there were 286 members of this cohort. Employment status was unknown for three people. A total of 255 grads attained some type of work within nine months of receiving their law degrees. This leads to a “placement” rate of 90.1 percent, i.e. 255/283.
Scroll down to the section entitled “Employed Graduates by Type of Employer.” There, you will see that only 109 members of this class landed jobs in law firms. Three desperate souls started solo practices, while another 47 went to work in firms of 2-10 attorneys. A total of 18 ended up in offices with 11-25 lawyers. Conversely, only five were employed by firms of more than 500 attorneys. Do you still like YOUR odds, lemming?!?!
Now, head down to the subsection, “Full-Time Salaries Reported by Employed Graduates.” Note that only 135 JDs from the 2012 class supplied this data to the school. Remember, 255 had secured employment within nine months of graduation. Hell, that is only 52.9% of those with jobs. The overall mean salary was $54,508, with an median of $45,000. The 25th percentile figure was $40,000, while those in the 75th percentile reportedly earned $65,000. Do you understand that, dolt?!?! That means that the “winners” at this garbage heap are not doing that well, at least in relation to their debt and lost income for three years.
Average Law Student Indebtedness: USN&WR lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the F$U Law Class of 2013 who incurred debt for law school - as $79,426. Fully 90% of this clogged toilet’s 2013 cohort took on such toxic debt. Remember that this figure does not include undergraduate debt – and also does not take accrued interest into account, while the student is enrolled.
Majestic Journal Opportunities: As a student at the co-45th most magnificent law school in the United States, you will have the unique chance to write onto the world-renowned Journal of Transnational Law & Policy! Here is a partial description of this publicaTTTion:
“The Journal of Transnational Law & Policy (ISSN 1067-8182) is published once per year at The Florida State University College of Law. The views expressed in published material are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the policies or opinions of the Journal, its editors or staff, or Florida State University.
The Journal was founded in 1991 to provide a scholarly forum for discussion of legal developments in the world community. The Journal shares the philosophy articulated by the late Philip C. Jessup, Judge of the International Court of Justice, who defined "transnational law" as "all law which regulates actions or events that transcend national frontiers." The term "transnational" is thus expansive; it includes both the international and comparative dimensions of law.”
If you are in a serious relationship, then be careful who you tell about your journal experience. For instance, if you walk into a bar and tell someone that you are a student editor on this prestigious review, then you run the risk of having SEVERAL trim, tanned southern belles climb on top of you - in an effort to impregnate themselves with your child. If you don’t want to smothered by their supple breasts, then keep this “accomplishment” to yourself. [Disclaimer for naïve fools: nothing of this sort will happen. The aforementioned beauties will continue to blow the members of the football, basketball and baseball teams – while not even being aware of your existence.]
Conclusion: Avoid this cesspool at all costs. If this is the best commode you can get into, then you are CLEARLY not cut out to be a future “law professor.” Keep in mind that these “educators” are merely training you to be an academic. However, if you are not attending an elite law school, then you essentially have no shot in hell of landing an article III clerkship and becoming a “professor.”
Also, be leery of the low debt figure cited above. Again, this total does not include interest or student debt from undergrad – or loans for another degree. Who wants to incur an accumulated sum of $120K-$150K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, for a damn law degree from the 45th best school in the country?!?! In the end, if you had real talent or natural skills, then you would be attending this univer$ity on an athletic “scholarship.”
Posted by Nando at 6:17 AM