Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Fourth Tier Noxious Filth: Northern Illinois University College of Law
Tuition: According to this document, Illinois residents attending this dung heap on a full-time basis were charged $21,398 in tuition and fees – for the 2013-2014 school year. Out-of-state, full-time law students at NIU were slapped across the face with $37,022 in tuition plus fees, for 2013-2014. What a great bargain, huh?!?! After all, tuition alone at co-fourth ranked Univer$ity of Chicago Law $chool stands at $54,462 for the upcoming academic year.
Ranking: At these prices – especially for non-resident victims – one would expect this school to at least have a somewhat decent reputation, correct? Well, according to US “News” & World Report, NorTTTThern Illinoi$ Univer$iTTTTy Commode of Law is rated as a fourth tier piece of trash! Of course, Bob Morse labels these garbage heaps as “Rank Not Published.” Once a turd reaches these depths, it is a herculean task to remove the toilet stain.
Published Employment Placement Statistics: Select the NIU Commode of Law Class of 2012 Summary Report. Apparently, these bitches and hags are not charging enough in tuition, since they cannot produce more recent data.
Based on this chart, there were only 91 graduates from this class, which seems pretty damn low. Scroll down to the area labeled “Employment Status Known.” You will see that only 88 members of this cohort reported their employment status to the school. Of that amount, a total of 78 were allegedly employed within nine months of receiving their TTTT law degree. This represents a “placement” rate of 88.6 percent, i.e. 78/88.
Supposed Starting Salary Figures: On this same PDF, you will note that of the 91 JDs from this class – and the 88 who supplied their job status – only 46 furnished their income to the fourth tier garbage heap. These are all full-time, long-term positions, by the way. With that in mind, the 20 female JDs who supplied this information came out to a median salary of $47,500. For the 26 men who gave this data to the toilet, their median income was $50,000.
Since there were 32 employed grads who did not either include their salary or have it calculated by the pigs, this skews the figures upward. The fact that this benefits the school is just a mere coincidence, right?!?! Remember, it’s okay if these omissions always favor these “institutions of higher education.” Plus, you can’t fool college grads, i.e. “sophisticated consumers.”
TTTT NeTTTTworking OpporTTTTuniTTTTies: Sometimes, it is best to let the bastards make your case. In the cockroaches’ own words:
Networking opportunities are strong and plentiful due to the strong sense of camaraderie at NIU College of Law. Our Alumni Association is committed to actively working with current students to provide guidance, support and assistance with employment placement. Throughout the year the Office of Career Opportunities works with the Alumni Association to coordinate social receptions and speaking engagements to facilitate the networking opportunities for our students.” [Emphasis in original]
Read: We will occasionally provide artificial settings where piss poor students, in their ratty-ass JC Penney suits and Payless shoes, can mingle with struggling solos – who are also wearing cheap attire and drowning in student debt. In fact, many of these practitioners are only there for the cheese and crackers.
Here is a simple fact of life, Lemmings: CONNECTED people network with those in their circle of friends who hold down great jobs or have access to someone else who makes hiring decisions. They are not thrown into stupid environments where they are expected to laugh at dumb jokes and show off their mock trial “skills.” Rich kids don’t even have to put forth much effort. Hell, their fathers can make a couple of calls on the 16th hole to law firm managers and judges, and land their son a great job – even if Dumbass spent most of his three years in law school getting drunk and tossing coed salads.
Average Law Student Indebtedness: Since Vagina Bob Morse has evidently taken down his graduate debt rankings – because he is a pathetic, weak bitch – we will rely on another site. NIU swine, if you are mad about this development, then demand that Pussy Boy fix the link or provide a newer version soon.
Law School Transparency lists the projected debt at repayment for graduates of Northern Illinois “University” College of Law as $159,680 for in-state grads – and $222,932 for non-residents. Now ask yourself the following: Are you going to earn anywhere near the amount of money required to service that debt?!?! If you were smart or shrewd enough to earn such a salary, then you would not need to attend law school in the first place, dolt.
Conclusion: If this is the best school that you can get admitted to, then YOU need to go into another field. Do you honestly think – for one microsecond – that you will have a realistic shot at earning enough money to pay back your student loans and have a good lifestyle, coming from a FOURTH TIER DUNG PIT?!?! The stench of such a degree never leaves you, if you are seeking legal positions. In the event that you seek non-law work, be prepared for employers to ask “Where is that located exactly?” and “Is that an accredited school?”
Now, imagine trying to repay $150K-$200K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, with a TTTT law degree from something called the Northern Illinois University Commode of Law. That is about the equivalent of trying to win Miss America pageant, armed with nothing more than the best shoulders. At least, the contestant who finishes as 10th runner up will likely snag some rich athlete. Plus, these women are not pissing away three prime years of their lives – and incurring monstrous amounts of student loans, in the process. If you are still considering this pile of rot, then you need to grow a brain stem.
Posted by Nando at 4:58 AM