Friday, August 8, 2014
Open Letter to the Incoming JD Class of 2017
Dear Dumbass Lemming,
In spite of rock hard facts and data showing that: (a) this “profession” is oversaturated; and (b) that law school is too damn expensive for the likely payoff, you have decided to take the plunge. After all, those statistics do not apply to you, because YOU are so exceptional, right?!?!
Employment Placement for the Law School Class of 2013: For this data, we head to the NALP Class of of 2013 National Summary Report. According to this chart, there were 46,776 graduates competing for 28,746 jobs where bar passage was required. Keep in mind that not all of those positions were traditional lawyer openings.
In fact, in the subsection labeled Private Practice Jobs, you will note that 19,272 people from this cohort landed such posts. However, only 17,968 grads landed positions in this sector, where a law license was required. This equates to 38.4 percent of the class, i.e. 17,272/46,776. Could you imagine – for one second - if medical school graduates faced such outcomes?!?!
Scroll down to page two of this PDF, and head to Size of Firm. Of the 19,272 JDs who ended up in private practive, 933 were desperate-ass solos. Another 8,087 were in firms of 2-10 attorneys. Conversely, a total of 1,067 landed jobs in offices of 251-500 lawyers – and 3,980 found employment in firms of more than 500 attorneys. Do you still like your odds, Lemming?!?! You do realize that those Biglaw jobs are reserved for solid graduates of top 10 law schools, as well as the sons and daughters of federal judges and wealthy pigs, correct?!
Average Law Student Indebtedness: Take a look at this ranking system from US “News” & World Report, for a moment. You idiots live by such rating schemes. If this rag furnished a list as to the best method of wiping your college-educated ass, then you would likely adopt that without question. At any rate, if these debt figures do not make you reconsider your decision, then you truly are a lost cause.
Here are the top ten commodes, for the JD Class of 2013, in terms of strapping down their unfortunate graduates with LIFE ALTERING, SOUL CRUSHING debt. I have provided the school name, followed by the the average indebtedness figure for those who took on law school debt and the percentage of the class who incurred this debt.
Thomas Jefferson School of Law - $180,665; 92%
New York Law School - $164,739; 84%
American University (Washington) - $158,636; 88%
California Western School of Law - $157,748; 90%
Northwestern University - $155,777; 78%
Whittier College - $154,267; 92%
University of Chicago - $153,753; 85%
Florida Coastal School of Law - $150,360; 91%
St. Thomas University - $150,166; 91%
University of Miami - $148,513; 79%
Of these ten “in$titution$ of higher education,” only two of these schools could be considered “elite.” Who in their right mind would even consider taking on $190K-$220K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt for a TTTT law degree from TTTThoma$ Jeffer$on Sewer of Law?!?! Frankly, such a person should be declared mentally unfit to enter into any contract.
Above the Law’s Advice to You: On August 6, 2014, ATL’s Shannon Achimalbe posted an entry entitled “A Final Warning To Those Who Enter The Law School Black Hole.” Read the entire article, but focus on the following excerpt:
“For the past few weeks, I’ve been writing about law school hoping that it would help would-be law students make an informed decision. I exposed some misperceptions about law school that no one discussed. I also suggested some cost-effective and possibly lucrative alternatives to a legal education. And I wrote about some last-minute things to consider before going to law school.
But some of you will still go to law school for the wrong reasons and pay rip-off prices. Ego, familial expectations, and peer pressure may play a role in your decision. So I want to finish the law-school-themed posts by issuing a warning to students and their parents about the consequences of graduating without a meaningful job and with six figure, nearly nondischargeable student loan debt….
You cannot claim that law school “scammed” you. The “law school scam” movement began around 2007 and the mainstream media picked up on it in 2011. Nowadays, it is common for news outlets to warn students about the low starting salaries and high student loan debts of most new attorneys. Once the truth about law school was exposed, those who felt victimized took solace knowing that they were not alone and not failures at life. This realization helped almost all of them eventually suck it up and move on.
But now, things are different. Even the scamblogs believe that if you go to law school now, you cannot complain that you were scammed if things don’t work out. There is enough information out there for you to do your own damn research. The fact that law school enrollment has been dropping in the last few years should tell you something. If you graduate in three years with high debt and a low-paying job, very few people will take pity on you.” [Emphasis mine]
Do you believe that YOU know more about the legal job market than those who have law degrees, including those who have practiced?! Remember, only ten percent of your class can land in the top decile – and at MANY ABA-accredited toilets, this will not be enough to help you land decent employment.
Conclusion: At this point in the game, if you are attending a non-elite law school, then you must be mentally deficient. At best, you are willfully ignorant of the GLUTTED job market. After all, if you had devoted a few hours online researching U.S. “legal education,” then you would have run across several dozen articles in major publications – from judges, lawyers, former attorneys, “law professors, ” journalists and social commentators – highlighting that law school is a terrible gamble for the student.
Use whatever common sense you have! Why would these people – who are not being paid a dime to expose the law school swine – come to these conclusions independently?!?! In the final analysis, if you choose to enroll in law school with such widely available information, then you have no one to blame but yourself – when you end up owing $163,218.92 in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, while earning $38K per year, Stupid Bitch. You can still drop out at the end of first semester, if your grades do not place you in the top 10% of your class - but I doubt most of you have the mental fortitude to so then either.
Posted by Nando at 7:35 AM