Saturday, August 16, 2014

Third Tier Black Bear Feces: University of Maine School of Law

After profiling the University of Hawai’i William S. Richardson Sewer of Law, we now head roughly 5,096 miles to the northern and easternmost state in the union, in order to sandblast another third tier commode. Who knew that a filthy toilet sat in the middle of Pacific Ocean, as well as on the shores of the North Atlantic?! What are the odds?

Tuition: Maine residents will be charged $22,290 in full-time tuition for 2014-2015, whereas full-time, out-of-state law students will have their asses penetrated to the tune of $33,360 for the 2014-2015 academic year. Then again, New England Regional Program and Canadian citizens will only face a tuition bill of $30,420 – for the same school year. Who says that public schools are affordable?!

Ranking: According to the fishwrap known as US “News” & World Report, the Univer$iTTTTy of Maine Sewer of Law is the 129th greatest, most remarkable and amazing law school in the entire United States. Yes, only 128 ABA-accredited diploma mills are rated above this third tier commode.

Who wouldn’t want to attend such a presTTTigious “institution of higher learning”?!?!? In fact, it shares this distinct honor with the following five trash pits: Drexel; North Dakota; University of St. Thomas; Wyoming; and VermonTTT Law $chool.

Published Employment Placement Statistics: The Employment Summary for 2013 Graduates shows that there were 96 graduates from this class. Of that amount, 78 were employed – in some capacity – within nine months of receiving their TTT law degree. This translates to a “placement” rate of 81.25 percent. Yes, what a tremendous outcome for the students, right?!?!

Furthermore, only 46 members of this cohort found jobs where bar passage was required. Under Employment Type, you will see that 38 grads were hired by private law firms. This figure includes four desperate solos and 26 men and women working in firms of 2-10 attorneys. In contrast, five graduates found employment in offices of 101-250 lawyers and one in a firm of more than 500 attorneys.

Perhaps, you feel that the odds do not apply to you. In that case, you truly are a delusional clown. Again, one member of the Maine JD Class of 2013 landed Biglaw, whereas pretty much everyone took on life-altering, soul-crushing amounts of student debt for this TTT "credential." Are YOU going to be that single person in your class?!?!

Average Law Student Indebtedness: US “News” lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the Univer$iTTTy of Maine Sewer of Law Class of 2013 who incurred debt for law school - as $92,603. In addition, 84% of this clogged toilet’s 2013 cohort took on such foul debt. Remember that this figure does not include undergraduate debt – and also does not take accrued interest into account, while the student is enrolled.

TTT Program Offering: Take a look at the trash pit’s CenTTTer for Oceans and CoasTTTal Law. From the rodents’ description:

“Center for Oceans and Coastal Law

The Center for Oceans and Coastal Law is a teaching and interdisciplinary research center devoted to law and policy of the oceans. Center activities embrace a broad range of teaching and research, seeking to enhance the skills of the lawyer and policy scientist as applied to oceans problems from the Gulf of Maine to the seas of Europe, Africa and Asia. The Center is directed by Professor Charles H. Norchi, who also serves as Chair of the Admiralty and Maritime Section of the American Association of Law Schools (AALS).

Through its program of conferences, lectures, and publications, the Center builds on a longstanding Maine maritime tradition. That tradition includes 18th Century piracy trials, 19th Century Clipper Sailing Ships that carried trade in fur and timber from the new world to the old, the 20th Century Liberty Ships that were built in South Portland and contributed to Allied victory in the Second World War.” [Emphasis mine]

After reading that meandering nonsense, are you still awake? Maybe these bitches and hags can bring this center into the 21st century. For instance, I see no mention of the upcoming fight for Canada’s “blue gold” in that summary. Nor did the description list the fact that in August 2007, Russia planted its flag on the North Pole’s sea floor. Then again, expecting academic swine to be on the forefront of anything is akin to betting that your cat will bring you the morning newspaper tomorrow.

Conclusion: If this is the best law school that you can get into, then you need to seek a different career path. After all, there is no sense in incurring an additional $105K-$140K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, for a degree that will qualify for a job making $45K per year – and that’s if you’re lucky. Hell, you are better off remaining in your field or job, and working your way up to management.

As noted earlier, and based off the garbage heap’s own documentation, one damn person from the Class of 2013 landed a Biglaw job. Maybe a few others landed jobs that may justify the student debt incurred. At this point, if you willingly choose to ignore the facts about law school, then you should roast in FINANCIAL HELL. Unfortunately, the law school pigs who wiped their asses with your life will not be barbecued beyond recognition – which is what they deserve.



    1. We need more on this. Did they stall giving out pink slips till AFTER fall tuition in?

    2. A very interesting question, Doris. If so, would this not be as fraudulent as a debtor who runs up a credit card knowing that a week later he's going to file for bankruptcy?

    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    4. Charles, that is my point. And if the do not give refunds, DOE should step in immediately.

    5. Excellent news!!! The Cooley profiteers will have a hard time justifying their own contrived jobs and inflated salaries now.

  2. I'm gland you've covered two state schools in your last two posts. I think it's damn near criminal for a state school to charge this kind of tuition. Of course, it looks as though the highest paid state employee in Maine is the law school dean.

    But yeah, to add to 7:53, it sure looks like the JT Marlin of legal education is really undergoing some changes.

  3. Cooley's name change answers the question Would a turd by any other name smell just as awful?

  4. The guy that got biglaw was probably some federal judge's kid. Why else would they hire a tier4 grad?

  5. Maine doesn't have the population to support 96 lawyers each year. Probably not even half that.

  6. Maine is a state with huge amounts of wilderness so don't expect many opportunites there. The coastal areas have a few beaches like Old Orchard and York with cold water in the summer. The harbors are for fisherman and tourism with no law firms. The capital city, Augusta, has really nothing to offer. The only city with any prospects would be Portland. Upon graduation, you would have to leave Maine unless you want to catch lobsters with a law degree or work at the outlets in Freeport. I would imagine many of the alumni will be found in Boston, Hartford, Bridgeport or any of the few big cities in New England. And when it snows in Maine, you'll need more than a ruler to measure it.

  7. Back on October 12, 2012, Business Insider published a Melissa Stanger piece entitled “The 11 Law Schools With The Worst Employment Rates.” Look at this opening:

    “Just 85.6 percent of law students who earned a law degree in 2011 were employed nine months later. It's the lowest rate of employment since 1994.

    For those graduates lucky enough to find themselves employed, only 55 percent of them secured "full-time, long-term jobs" that require a law degree.

    And yet the law schools keep churning out students ...

    We've identified some of the schools with the highest rates of unemployment and underemployment, based on data from the Wall Street Journal. We also looked at the percentage of students who passed the bar exam the first time and compared it to the average state bar passage rates.”

    Guess ABA-accredited garbage can made the list? Yes, Third Tier Commode Univer$iTTTTy of Maine Sewer of Law landed in the sixth spot. What a great accomplishment, huh?!?!

    “#6 University of Maine School of Law, Portland, Maine

    Unemployed, seeking employment: 25.56%

    Employed in jobs requiring a JD: 42%

    Passed the bar exam the first time: 87%

    Average State Bar Passage Rate: 89%

    Tuition: $22,290 for Maine residents, $33,360 for non-residents

    Methodology: Tuition represented does not include the cost of living. The employment statistics represent law students from the graduating classes of 2011 nine months after graduation. Data was collected from the Wall Street Journal and the American Bar Association/Law School Admissions Council.”

    This article pertains to each diploma mill’s Class of 2011. However, this is pretty recent. Also, how does the toilet explain a decrease in the unemployment rate two years later? According to the ABA summary for the University of Maine SOL 2013 cohort, unemployment - at the nine month mark - was “only” 18.75 percent. Then again, this is still a pathetic figure - even for the 129th "best" law school in the country.

  8. The cat's been out of the bag for 5 years now. Anyone signing on the dotted line for law school deserves what they get.

  9. Head to Law School Numbers to see this toilet’s profile. Hell, I wouldn’t line a bird cage or a cat’s litter box with a degree from the Univer$iTTTy of Maine Sewer of Law.


    Maine Law School is considered a Somewhat Competitive law school, which accepts only 56% of its applicants. Comparatively, Maine is Lower than the average cost for law school.

    “Class of 2018

    Applications: 929
    Offers: 519 (55.87%)
    Matriculated: 87 (9.4%)


    25th percentile: 3.10
    Median: 3.31
    75th percentile: 3.53


    25th percentile: 152
    Median: 155
    75th percentile: 157”

    Yes, what a selective “institution of higher learning,” right?!?! Who wouldn’t be proud to be a student at this vile commode?!

    Now take a look at the trash heap’s “placement” rate:


    Deciding to attend law school requires a large financial investment with the goal of securing employment upon graduation. The University of Maine class of 2013 had an employment rate of 72% with 5% pursuing an additional degree.”

    Do you still want to piss away your future on a TTT law degree from a cesspool located in Maine?!?! If so, then you are in dire need of a cerebral shunt.

  10. As a student at this dung heap, you can write onto something called the Ocean and Coastal Law Journal. Check out this description:

    “Ocean and Coastal Law Journal

    Located in the coastal city of Portland, Maine, the Ocean and Coastal Law Journal is dedicated to facilitating discourse on legal issues related to domestic and international use of the sea and seashores. It is published by second and third year students at the University of Maine School of Law in two volumes per year. These volumes include articles by practitioners and scholars, as well as comments and case notes written by students addressing issues of marine resource regulation, coastal zone management, marine environmental protection, and other topics of importance in the field of ocean and coastal law. In addition, OCLJ publishes a brief synopsis of major recent developments in the field, which is produced by editors on the OCLJ staff.

    OCLJ provides two years of research, writing, and editing experience to its student editors, who are required to produce a comment of publishable quality on an ocean or coastal issue. In addition to fulfilling their writing requirement, student editors become familiar with current issues in the field of ocean and coastal law while carefully editing works accepted for publication.”

    For $ome rea$on, these dolts fail to mention that these articles are not peer-reviewed. I suppose you could wipe your ass with this publicaTTTion. Then again, this academic journal has a reputation lower than whale excrement.

    Sadly, many lemmings believe that putting such nonsense on their resume will make them better job candidates. Law firms don’t give a damn about your placement on a garbage journal. Non-legal employers will simply laugh to themselves. You are more likely to impress an HR manager by listing that you were on your high school chess team.

  11. So, from an antique:

    The "boomer generation" of lawyers is not really retiring like other, non-attorney folks. Well, let's clarify that. Those law students who "made it" into big law, and survived there to become partner, or who were then shunted to corporate clients and became "in-house counsel"--THOSE FOLKS are retiring like normal folks.

    But as we have seen on so many blogs, and so many comments, MOST LAWYERS are in small to tiny to solo firms. They are NOT retiring at 50, 55, 59, 60, 62, 65, because they never made enough to retire. They continue to work into their late 60's to mid 70's. And, courtesy of the bell curve, those attorneys are the VAST MAJORITY of the boomers.

    I have seen many of my classmates' retirement announcements in the state bar association publications. At 55, at 58, at 60. All from big law firms, or major corporations. I was top 25% of a top 21 school, at that time, and I will stop work in 5 more years at 67, with NO pension.

    I have savings, but Social Security will be at least 75% of my retirement income. I can not foresee any travel, vacationing, enjoying the golden years. It will be a quarter of my current standard of living.

    More to follow...

    1977 Boomer

  12. PART 2…

    I don't think I can even do woodworking-a hobby of mine-how will I afford wood? I am really not sure what I can afford.

    An attorney who hired me many years ago-where I worked for 2 years-now at 72, called the other day--he needed some information--the firm long dissolved. He said that he now works from home, practicing law, because, well, "I have no money." His wife worked all the years he worked.

    So, do you newbies think you can out think an attorney whose experience spans 50 years? And, I'll bet his hourly rate is not much more than your's will be.

    Had I obtained an engineering degree and gone to work for the company that employed my father, my current income, after 38 years would be TWICE my current income as an attorney.

    AND, AND, AND, I would have a pension monthly income of $3,900 to $5,400 PER MONTH upon retirement in 3 years.

    As it is, I have a pension of $0.00 per month. Social Security is my shepherd, who leadeth me to lay down in green pastures…

    Again, as I have mentioned on other comments on other blogs, my 3 children will not and are not going to be lawyers

    I am the first and last in my family tree to be an attorney. I would not wish this curse on anyone.

    My parents were the first to get a post high school education in their families. In fact, they may have been the first to get post grade school educations. Further, their parents may not have even graduated from grade school, such is the rural life in Wisconsin at that time.
    My parents were very bright. No, I don't need to pat myself on the back.

    My mom was 2nd in her HS class, and majored in Mathematics-statistics at the U of Wisconsin.

    My dad had a job out of HS running a fishing resort for a local company up in Minnesota. A teacher of his met with his parents-uneducated folks-and said that someone with my dad's abilities should go to college, and that the teacher (ON THE TEACHER'S OWN INITIATIVE) had found two colleges which would take him and would grant FULL SCHOLARSHIPS for him. Whew!

    The U of Wisconsin being one--the one he selected. And along the way, he met my mom.

    These folks were smart-MUCH smarter than me. They grew up in a time when a fellow officer that knew my dad in the military asked if he had any plans after the military. Dad said no, and the guy said come work where I have a job. So, dad did, and retired there 34 years later. Pension, stock plan investments…

    My point?

    Well-if you are going to retire from the practice of law, you need to bill like a Fortune 500 or 100 company, so you can plant enough $$$ away to retire like my dad of 40 years ago. No one taught me to do THAT, so I am in trouble.

    I will survive, but I don't need to golf 3 times a week. My van with 140,008 miles is fine with me.
    All I suggest is that prospective 1L's read this, sit back and compare it to their parents' lives and lifestyles and try to project these comments onto their future lives.

    Oh, and Nando has done more good than most of you can imagine.

    1974 Boomer

    1. Exactly!

      You need long tenure in a large corporation or working for the State / local / Feds.

      Before you think about woodworking, and this is just an FYI, I think I saw something about the EPA coming down on people over that and the fines were something like $15,000 per violation.

      Just google EPA, fines, woodworking. I can't find the link at the moment.. None of it really has to do with "saving" the environment. It's about money and bureaucratic power.

      Lastly, those Boomers who are not you are the ones I saw in the halls of gov't doing very little all day. By your credentials, you are obviously a hard worker and intelligent. Those are problems if one seeks employment with the gov't.. Trust me on that.. You don't fit in with the clique.

    2. Hey 1974/1977 Boomer if your parents were so smart and worked successfully, did they leave you an inheritance? If not, why not? Did it ever occur to you that you and your parents might be very poor at managing money?

      Why didn't your parents teach you to save for retirement?

      I feel bad for you but I also feel that you are hugely responsible for your poor finances!

    3. Yeah, I had an inheritance. Dad's company put 3% of his salary into a stock plan if he put 6% of his income into a stock plan. He did. Neither of them spent one cent of all of that. Children of the Depression.

      They had 4 children, so it was split 4 ways. Incredibly, one of them GAVE me nearly their entire share to educate my kids. I am the only one with children. A 6 figure gift. Out of the blue, so to speak. May you all be so blessed. It has helped.

      As to managing money, I have not touched the gift. I have paid toward my childrens' education from current income, living more poorly, saving the gift for retirement. Having taken off 28 weeks during my 38 years of work, half of them at Scout summer camp, perhaps my money went to camping fees! ($125 for an adult per week.)

      My point is that the day I lock the office for the last time, there is no more money from my solo practice. No pension. What you save is IT.

      So, even $400,000-a lot? At current interest rates, 1%±, $4,000 per year. $333.33 per month. A MILLION in savings is $1,000 per month. My Social Security will be about $2,700 a month. I need THREE MILLION in savings to match that.

      I am not complaining nor will I starve. I am trying to put some late-in-life perspective to the true situation for solo practitioners who manage to make a modest living. Big firm and corporate benefits are significant and folks like me, and many readers here will not have them.

      I can sell my practice now, in my state, but apparently practices are selling for 1/3 to 2/3rds gross revenues-not very much. But, I have virtually no continuing clients-mostly one time only work, or folks who change their Wills about every 10 years, it is hard to value. And, they want to see ME, not someone I have "sold" their business to.

      It is a lifetime of hard work.

    4. I have clients with Bachelor's degrees and jobs a a large company. They do very well. They ASSUME I do much better than them, but I don't. I earn, total, about 1/2 of what they do. As noted on many blogs, lay people assume lawyers are all rich, but it is not true.

      IF you have to become a lawyer, personal injury is the field where huge money can be made, but as such, every attorney wants to do it. So, there is fierce competition. Advertising budgets can be 5 figures per month. That is serious money.

    5. And don't feel bad for my poor finances. I have saved 7 figures. It just doesn't produce much income at 1%.

      That is not as important as what it takes, year in and year out. To save that much means putting 20% of your take home income into an account and NOT SPENDING IT.

      So you work for a big company and earn $100,000 take home pay. Big company puts $20,000 into a retirement account for you.

      So, you are a solo practitioner (most firms of 2 to 10 or so, are all really solo practitioners) and have $100,000 in take home income. (You don't get "pay" as in, I show up and get paid.) You send the IRA 28% leaving $72,000 OUT OF WHICH you put $20,000 into a retirement account, leaving $52,000 to spend. The big company employee is $20,000 ahead of you every year. They will work 30 to 35 years, more or less. I will work 43 or 44. They have a pension greater than their Social Security benefit after the 30 to 35 years. I will work more years with no pension, just my savings, having lived thinner for my entire career compared to the big company employee.
      I have had many advantages, especially with my parents' example, but it is still hard work every day.
      Consider, as I type this at 10:30 am, I lose an hour's billable time. Forever lost, unless I work until 6 tonight. (I rarely leave the office prior to 6:30 pm, so 7:30 pm.) No work, no revenue.

  13. Not IRA, but IRS. (Sorry)

    Oh, at 38 years in, or out, depending on how you look at it, I figure I have worked 56 1/2 years at 2,000 hours per year.

    Law school at a "top 22" school, top 1/4th of my class, did not prepare me to do anything. Consider, a surgeon who, upon leaving medical school, had never actually CUT anything. Really?

    I left law school NEVER having seen a Will, much less interviewing a client or drafting one. I had to invent all of that. No mentor-well see below. A solo practitioner and DaVinci have a lot in common.

    We have to invent virtually everything.

    I worked for a firm for about 2 years. I got some guidance from those folks, very nice folks. They were good to me. My starting income in 1982 was $12,400. The #1 student from my law school started at about $70,000 two years previously. More than 5 times my starting salary.

    I have written previously and reaffirm it now, that I am not interested in my particular story being heralded, nor to do I seek sympathy, compassion, etc. (I am trying to push a late in career perspective to prospective law students which they cannot get from anyone except those of my age and in my position as a solo practitioner. And I note, that few of my age and practice position comment anywhere on the various blogs.)

    I do have 2 claims to fame. I an extremely, if not obsessively curious, and I have indomitable endurance. These are the two major reasons I have survived and made a living practicing law. These are not idle claims. My library is over 2,000 volumes and, well, if you are interested, blog about my endurance, though my years of practice hours ought to say enough.)

    I want to note that it is not considered "gentile" to mention income amounts, savings amounts, etc.

    I want to address that, a bit. One reply, above commented on "inability to manage money." And that is a fair comment based on inferences from my post.

    I do mostly transactional work. I don't have a precise figure, but my average bill is probably $600 to $1,200.

    My overhead runs about 60% to 70%.

    So, let's take the $1,200 gross bill and subtract only 60% for overhead. That leaves $480. Deducting tax at 28% leaves $346. So I go home with $346. And then, like all of us, pay rent or mortgage, utilities, gas, car repair, kid's expenses, etc.

    And from what is left, put money into retirement.

    Can you imagine how many bills one must actually collect to put $20,000 a year into permanent savings?

    What I have done to make a life and career can be done, but my point is that it is HARD WORK. VERY hard work.

    NOW, as a self-professed hard worker, I would NEVER go to law school again.


    I could hand them a "ready made practice' but it is virtually worthless.

    So, I will stop work one day, lock the door on the office and walk away. No one will be there for my "retirement party." There will be none.

    I do have over 500 feet of files to review and shred, or keep… More free work.

  14. Nando is a brave man. He is always welcome in my home. (Somehow signal me. We do not live so apart Me-IL).)

    Years ago, I took on the Boy Scouts of America on issues in my Council. A serious involvement for National BSA including my local Council. A SERIOUS engagement for me.

    Very seriously. I, and 2 others were permanently banned from BSA membership.

    That means we were branded as gays or child abusers.

    Well, I am neither. "I have a number of gay clients. They are smart, educated, intelligent, know what the want me to do, pay their bill and we do reasonable business together.

    I signed my declaration of war as "Cincinnatus."

    My Boy Scout history is ALL of my history. I am not good at sports(with one exception, the being the Ranger Marathon, nor much of anything else. My older brother was Boy Scout and I wanted to be a Scout.

    I am an Eagle Scout. I worked 2 years at the local scout camp. I am a 4 year staff member at Philmont Scout Ranch. My 3rd year on staff, at age 21, I was responsible for the initial training and subsequent evaluation of 122 staff. A big job for a young person.

    I was reinstated along with the others in full by the BSA. (Perhaps the 1 million dollars loss in contributions due to our expulsion had something to do with it.)

    (And, well, since 1973, there have been only 41 folks in the US Senate and House of Representatives who have held a similar position.

    I have three children, sons, all are Eagle Scouts.

    Many folks disparage scouting, but as I tell my protoge's, have any of them meet you in a local parking lot in January on a Friday afternoon, and see how they feel about your skills on Sunday afternoon having spent 2 nights in sub-zero temperatures.

    1974/1977 Boomer

  15. Proud grad of 2015. I dont care about my loans or income as long as I can live comfortably and I am. I earn a fair salary and am able pay my bills, save for retirement, etc. I am happy with my practice areas and clients. I'm by no means wealthy, but I'm happy.

    For some people, money isnt the number one concern of their life's path...if it is, don't go to law school.

    I absolutely agree that law school is not for most, but it IS very rewarding for those who truly enjoy the practice of law.

    I networked and worked hard to get my position. I genuinely like my work and clients. I'm frankly glad the market is weeding those out who simply go to law school to get a job. Clients dont deserve people lile that.

    Law school is a calling, not a get rich quick scheme.

    1. Hey Anonymous, I live in Maine and I've got a case for you. You can read about it at my website A judge just dismissed it; but I've appealed. Want to work as my counsel? I didn't think so, because I don't have a $3000 retainer for you. Imagine if lawyers had to work on a contingency basis only. They would soon whip the judges into shape, because their livelihood would depend on the judges properly interpreting the laws and standing behind the Constitution rather than using administrative rules to keep people like me who can't afford to hire an attorney from ever collecting money that is clearly owed them. Let me know if you change your mind and decide that working on contingency for people like me who can't afford $200 per hour for an attorney but who really need one is your calling.


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