Saturday, August 16, 2014
Third Tier Black Bear Feces: University of Maine School of Law
After profiling the University of Hawai’i William S. Richardson Sewer of Law, we now head roughly 5,096 miles to the northern and easternmost state in the union, in order to sandblast another third tier commode. Who knew that a filthy toilet sat in the middle of Pacific Ocean, as well as on the shores of the North Atlantic?! What are the odds?
Tuition: Maine residents will be charged $22,290 in full-time tuition for 2014-2015, whereas full-time, out-of-state law students will have their asses penetrated to the tune of $33,360 for the 2014-2015 academic year. Then again, New England Regional Program and Canadian citizens will only face a tuition bill of $30,420 – for the same school year. Who says that public schools are affordable?!
Ranking: According to the fishwrap known as US “News” & World Report, the Univer$iTTTTy of Maine Sewer of Law is the 129th greatest, most remarkable and amazing law school in the entire United States. Yes, only 128 ABA-accredited diploma mills are rated above this third tier commode.
Who wouldn’t want to attend such a presTTTigious “institution of higher learning”?!?!? In fact, it shares this distinct honor with the following five trash pits: Drexel; North Dakota; University of St. Thomas; Wyoming; and VermonTTT Law $chool.
Published Employment Placement Statistics: The Employment Summary for 2013 Graduates shows that there were 96 graduates from this class. Of that amount, 78 were employed – in some capacity – within nine months of receiving their TTT law degree. This translates to a “placement” rate of 81.25 percent. Yes, what a tremendous outcome for the students, right?!?!
Furthermore, only 46 members of this cohort found jobs where bar passage was required. Under Employment Type, you will see that 38 grads were hired by private law firms. This figure includes four desperate solos and 26 men and women working in firms of 2-10 attorneys. In contrast, five graduates found employment in offices of 101-250 lawyers and one in a firm of more than 500 attorneys.
Perhaps, you feel that the odds do not apply to you. In that case, you truly are a delusional clown. Again, one member of the Maine JD Class of 2013 landed Biglaw, whereas pretty much everyone took on life-altering, soul-crushing amounts of student debt for this TTT "credential." Are YOU going to be that single person in your class?!?!
Average Law Student Indebtedness: US “News” lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the Univer$iTTTy of Maine Sewer of Law Class of 2013 who incurred debt for law school - as $92,603. In addition, 84% of this clogged toilet’s 2013 cohort took on such foul debt. Remember that this figure does not include undergraduate debt – and also does not take accrued interest into account, while the student is enrolled.
TTT Program Offering: Take a look at the trash pit’s CenTTTer for Oceans and CoasTTTal Law. From the rodents’ description:
“Center for Oceans and Coastal Law
The Center for Oceans and Coastal Law is a teaching and interdisciplinary research center devoted to law and policy of the oceans. Center activities embrace a broad range of teaching and research, seeking to enhance the skills of the lawyer and policy scientist as applied to oceans problems from the Gulf of Maine to the seas of Europe, Africa and Asia. The Center is directed by Professor Charles H. Norchi, who also serves as Chair of the Admiralty and Maritime Section of the American Association of Law Schools (AALS).
Through its program of conferences, lectures, and publications, the Center builds on a longstanding Maine maritime tradition. That tradition includes 18th Century piracy trials, 19th Century Clipper Sailing Ships that carried trade in fur and timber from the new world to the old, the 20th Century Liberty Ships that were built in South Portland and contributed to Allied victory in the Second World War.” [Emphasis mine]
After reading that meandering nonsense, are you still awake? Maybe these bitches and hags can bring this center into the 21st century. For instance, I see no mention of the upcoming fight for Canada’s “blue gold” in that summary. Nor did the description list the fact that in August 2007, Russia planted its flag on the North Pole’s sea floor. Then again, expecting academic swine to be on the forefront of anything is akin to betting that your cat will bring you the morning newspaper tomorrow.
Conclusion: If this is the best law school that you can get into, then you need to seek a different career path. After all, there is no sense in incurring an additional $105K-$140K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, for a degree that will qualify for a job making $45K per year – and that’s if you’re lucky. Hell, you are better off remaining in your field or job, and working your way up to management.
As noted earlier, and based off the garbage heap’s own documentation, one damn person from the Class of 2013 landed a Biglaw job. Maybe a few others landed jobs that may justify the student debt incurred. At this point, if you willingly choose to ignore the facts about law school, then you should roast in FINANCIAL HELL. Unfortunately, the law school pigs who wiped their asses with your life will not be barbecued beyond recognition – which is what they deserve.
Posted by Nando at 6:59 AM