Friday, November 7, 2014
TTTT Smells of Desperation: Fourth Tier Trash Pit Thomas Jefferson School of Law is Offering Merit Scholarships to Idiots with 2.0 Undergrad GPAs and 140 LSAT Scores
Hilarious News: On October 29, 2014, dybbuk posted a funny OTLSS piece labeled “Bottom-of-the-barrel Thomas Jefferson School of Law offers academic merit scholarship to applicants with 2.0 UGPA/ 140 LSATs.” Look at this portion, from the opening:
“Let’s say a person squeaks through college with the minimum GPA needed to graduate (2.00, i.e. a "C" average) and then completely bombs a standardized test designed to measure reading comprehension and analytical and logical ability, scoring in the bottom 13 percent of test-takers. A euphemism for such a person, suitable for this touchy age, might be "intellectually disinclined" or, certainly, "academically challenged." But at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, that person is referred to as a “recipient of an academic merit scholarship.”
Consider the “matrix” of UGPA/LSATs used by Thomas Jefferson School of Law, beginning this fall, to award guaranteed renewable academic merit scholarships. A kid with a 2.0 GPA /140 LSAT (i.e., a "C" average in college and a 13th percentile score on the LSAT) gets a merit scholarship of $1,000 a year. And $7,000/ yr. if that kid can boost his or her LSAT performance to 145-- the 26th percentile.
What is even more striking than the small merit awards provided to the, uh, intellectually disinclined, are the quite substantial ones provided to the utterly mediocre and sub-mediocre. Thomas Jefferson will provide a $44,000/ yr. renewable scholarship for an incoming law student with a 3.0 undergraduate GPA and a 153 on the LSAT (i.e., a "B" average in college and a 55th percentile score on the LSAT)—essentially a full-ride, since the school’s annual tuition is $44,900. A half-tuition scholarship is available to students with a 2.5 undergraduate GPA and a 148 on the LSAT (i.e. a "C+" average in college and a 38th percentile score on the LSAT).” [Emphasis mine]
Hell, apparently anyone with a full scale IQ of 70 or above can get a merit scholarship to attend this festering pile of excrement. One wonders whether the offer would be reduced if such an “accomplished” student reached these alleged milestones, but had a few felony convictions on his record.
Link to the TTTT Matrix: Check out this text from the commode’s maTTTTrix:
“Entering Student Merit Scholarships Beginning with the class that enters August 2014, TJSL has adopted an exciting new scholarship policy. Thomas Jefferson offers guaranteed merit scholarships to first time entering students based on the students highest LSAT score and undergraduate grade point average (UGPA). An entering student is guaranteed to retain his or her scholarship as long as he or she remains eligible to continue enrollment and is enrolled at the law school. Full-time students receive scholarships for six semesters. Part-time students receive scholarships for eight semesters. There is no need to submit a separate scholarship application; awards will be based on the highest LSAT and UGPA as reported on the student's LSAC CAS Report. Applicants from undergraduate schools that do not use a traditional 4.0 grading system and applicants who received an undergraduate degree from a foreign school will be awarded a scholarship consistent with the matrix using an individualized assessment of the applicant’s complete file.” [Emphasis mine]
Did you see that, lemming?!?! It was mentioned by the toilet more than once. I even highlighted it in bold text, twice. Who are we kidding? Since your reading comprehension skills are lower than those of a typical housecat, I will point it out to you. Quit sticking your finger in the light socket - and stop drinking from the paint can - for a moment and listen. Even if you score terribly on the LSAT, it’s okay. The pigs and cockroaches at TJ$L will only consider the highest score you attain.
Don’t feel bad about your 141 result the first time. Go back and take it again, waterhead. Maybe you’ll get lucky and reach a 148 next time. That will increase your “merit” scholarship significantly. "Earning" a supposed merit scholarship with such weak-ass results is the equivalent of allowing a kid with Down syndrome to "score" a touchdown in a high school football game.
Ranking: Did I mention earlier that US “News” & World Report rates TTTThoma$ Jeffer$on Sewer of Law as a fourth tier pile of excrement? What parent, spouse or significant other wouldn’t be proud of their loved one, for gaining admission to such a presTTTTigious in$TTTTiTTTTuTTTTion of “higher learning”?!?!? After all, it is ABA-approved! And that "professional" organization must have standards, right?!?!
Average Law Student Indebtedness: USN&WR lists the average law student indebtedness - for those members of the TJ$L Class of 2013 who incurred debt for law school - as $180,655. In fact, 92% of this cesspool’s 2013 cohort took on such foul debt. By the way, dolts: this represents THE HIGHEST damn figure among all diploma mills that reported this data to the defunct magazine. Keep in mind that this amount does not include undergraduate debt – and also does not take accrued interest into account, while the student is enrolled.
Conclusion: If you are even contemplating applying to this fourth tier dung pile, then you are an ideal candidate for a brain shunt. As such, you should be declared unable to enter into a contract. This would save taxpayers a lot of money, and you would not be financially ruined for life. No one in their right mind would even think – for one microsecond - about taking on an additional $200K-$240K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, for a TTTT law degree. Again, if you are considering TTTThoma$ Jeffer$on Sewer of Law, then you are a mental midget. Stick to coloring books and large Lego blocks, moron.
Posted by Nando at 12:24 AM