Sunday, July 19, 2015
Open Letter to the Incoming JD Class of 2018
Hello Imbecile. Despite the overwhelming mountain of hard evidence showing that: (a) the legal “profession” is GLUTTED; and (b) that law school is a terrible bet for the vast majority of students, you have decided to take the plunge anyway. Yeah, you’re a real bright bastard. After all, these facts do not apply to you, because even though you are enrolling in a third tier commode, YOU are still somehow exceptional, correct?!?!
Quick Breakdown: On July 15, 2015, ATL posted a Shannon Achimalbe piece labeled “4 Types Of People Who Shouldn’t Go To Law School.” Take a look at this opening:
“It is now mid-July and pre-law students are contemplating which law school to attend or whether to attend law school at all. Some have contacted me asking for advice. In the past, I was cynical and in most cases told them not to go without hearing them out. But now I try to be empathetic, listen to their stories, and discuss the pros and cons of attending the schools that accepted them. In most cases, I still tell them not to go unless they get a large, unconditional tuition discount for all three years.
Today, I want to write about certain pre-law students who should think long and hard before going to law school. Unfortunately, they have made up their minds and it will be difficult, if not impossible, to convince them to reconsider. I don’t think they will be bad lawyers or have a difficult life after graduation. But I do think they are going for questionable reasons. Alternatively, they can accomplish their personal goals without an expensive law degree.” [Emphasis mine]
The author then provided a brief description of these fools and morons, which I have trimmed further:
”1. The Activist. Activists want to be lawyers because they want to change the system. Most become Activists because they or someone close to them got screwed over by the judicial system or the police.
2. The Determined. These people have made their decision go to a non-elite law school and no one will stop them. They refuse to acknowledge that law school is no longer the career safe haven it used to be. Or they are aware of the risks but decide to go anyway. They get defensive and sometimes hostile whenever someone questions their decision.
3. The Disgraced. These people have second thoughts about going to law school but need a dignified reason not to go in order to avoid disgrace. Some just want to avoid a personal feeling of failure. But others also face real-world consequences if they back down. Their parents will cut them off financially or even disown them. Their significant other might reconsider their relationship. Or their social and professional circle will look down on them.
4. The Faithful. These people are also determined to go to law school but only because they feel that it is their spiritual duty. Like the Activists, they sincerely want to help and educate others. Most of them studied religion and the law either in school or informally. They go to worship services regularly and are morally good people.” [Emphasis mine]
Do you recognize yourself in any of those categories, waterhead?!?! If you want to help others or “change the system,” then you are already fighting a losing cause. There’s no sense in becoming FINANCIALLY RUINED, in the pursuit of such idealistic goals. Go serve food to bums in soup kitchens on the weekends, Dumbass.
Average Law School Indebtedness: According to a garbage publication known as US “News” & World Report, here are the schools with the highest average law school indebtedness, for those members of the JD class of 2014 who incurred debt for law school. Keep in mind that these figures do not take interest that accrues while the student is enrolled into account. By the way, of the top 15 offenders, only Northwestern, Columbia, and Georgetown are rated in the first tier. This means that they at least place many JDs in Biglaw positions.
A Brave New World: Back on June 19, 2012, the Atlantic featured a Jordan Weissman piece entitled “iLawyer: What Happens When Computers Replace Attorneys?” Check out the following portion:
“In the end, after you've stripped away their six-figure degrees, their state bar memberships, and their proclivity for capitalizing Odd Words, lawyers are just another breed of knowledge worker. They're paid to research, analyze, write, and argue -- not unlike an academic, a journalist, or an accountant. So when software comes along that's smarter or more efficient at those tasks than a human with a JD, it spells trouble.
That's one of the issues the Wall Street Journal raised yesterday in an article on the ways computer algorithms are slowly replacing human eyes when it comes to handling certain pieces of large, high-stakes litigation. It focuses on a topic that is near and dear to the legal industry (and pretty much nobody else) known as discovery, which is the process where attorneys sort through troves of documents to find pieces of evidence that might be related to a lawsuit. While it might seem like a niche topic, what's going on in the field has big implications for anybody who earns their living dealing with information.” [Emphasis mine]
The article then mentions predictive coding, and notes that court$ now support the use of such software. Still want to incur an ass-load of NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, for a chance to practice in a GLUTTED “profession”?!?!
Conclusion: If you choose to enroll in a non-elite law school today, and you end up FINANCIALLY RAPED, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Sure, the law schools are run by selfish pigs who don’t give a damn about their students. However, you cannot expect the cockroaches to turn away willing victims either. Simpletons such as yourself are keeping these bitches and hags in business. If you want to pursue a stupid dream, then try out for American Idol, idiot.
Posted by Nando at 6:10 AM