Friday, February 26, 2016

Recent TTT Offerings from Desperate ABA-Accredited Cess Pits

Midwe$TT: On January 15, 2016, Jack Crittenden posted a National Jurist article labeled “Loyola Chicago to offer weekend part-time program.” Look at the following portion:

“Loyola University Chicago’s School of Law has redesigned its part-time J.D. program to provide a more flexible weekend format, consisting of classes over 14 weekends a year that mix campus-based and online learning. 

"We wanted to reconcenptualize part-time legal education to make it available to a broader range of people," said David Yellin, dean at Loyola Chicago. We have five plus years of distance [learning] experience and we put that experience to use to come up with this model."

Loyola offers seven online degree programs for graduate law students, making it one of the largest online providers in the U.S. For this program, students will meet on campus on seven weekends each semester, rather than in the evenings. Up to one-third of the instruction in each course will be taught through distance learning, which will allow the reduced in-class time to be used more creatively. 

"It will be a truly blended learning program," Yellin said. "On a regular basis, students will be doing assignmemts through distance learning and then coming to class to build on what they learned. It will include videotaped lectures, problem sets they have to do, other kinds of exercises, and chat rooms and other ways to communicate with professors." [Emphasis mine]

If you bastards can provide videotaped lectures, then why can’t you post these online for a MUCH smaller fee?! By the way, do you think that making it EASIER to gain admi$$ion into your stench pit is going to improve your pathetic repuTTTaTTTion?!?!

$ouTTh: On February 25, 2016, this publicaTTTion featured a staff submission entitled “U Tennessee launches certificate in engineering and construction.” Try not to laugh too hard when you read the following nonsense:

“The University of Tennessee College of Law will offer a Graduate Certificate in Contractual and Legal Affairs in Engineering and Construction in the fall, run in conjunction with the UT College of Engineering. 

The 15-credit-hour graduate certificate is designed to give lawyers a background in construction and engineering and to give engineers and construction professionals a background in law, specifically contract law. Both fields overlap substantially, from the planning and contracting stages, through project implementation and contract administration, and sometimes ending in formal dispute resolution proceedings. In such an environment, a broad range of knowledge in both fields is not only desirable, but it may be critical to a firm or project’s success. 

“Our graduate certificate program is an invaluable opportunity for interdisciplinary learning and instruction at the College of Law,” said Alex B. Long, associate dean for academic affairs and professor of law. “Law students will gain a greater perspective by taking classes with engineering students and individuals currently working in the construction field. Plus, students who acquire the certificate will be able to market themselves more effectively to employers in a society where construction engineering is a powerful force in our economy.” [Emphasis mine]

Yes, there is no doubt that construction companies – and their attorneys – will fold under the pressure of facing a lawyer armed with a 15 credit hour graduate cerTTTificaTTTe in “Contractual and Legal Affairs in Engineering and Construction.” Apparently, that is enough to make one an “expert” in this area.

Ea$TT: Back on January 13, 2016, National Jurist published a staff piece, under the headline “Albany law students can take masters classes in history, criminal justice.” Enjoy:

“Albany Law School students can now take masters courses in history and criminal justice at the University at Albany. The agreements call on each school to recognize and accept credits for a range of specific courses, creating a more efficient experience — specifically less costly and less time for the students.

The agreement between Albany Law School and UAlbany’s School of Criminal Justice, and another between Albany Law and the College of Arts and Sciences, provides more collaborative academic offerings for students pursuing a law degree with a Masters of Art in History, and a law degree with a Masters of Arts in Criminal Justice. 

“Students in the School of Criminal Justice are often interested in pursuing a J.D. degree, so this is a very natural connection,” said University at Albany Senior Vice President for Academic Affairs and Provost, James Stellar. “Working together, we can now provide our students with an opportunity to explore the timely issues of the intersection between law with criminal justice and history right here in the Capital Region.” 

“This makes perfect sense,” said Alicia Ouellette, Albany Law’s President and Dean. “These agreements are yet another example of the way our two schools can align to offer a richer student experience for our students. Students of history and criminal justice make excellent law students.” [Emphasis mine]

It only makes perfect $en$e for the law school pigs and other “educators”, Alicia Ouelette. Also, by “richer student experience,” you mean accumulating more NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, for another worthless-ass academic “credential.” After all, how many hiring managers – or even desperate solo lawyers – are thinking to themselves “If only we had someone here with a background in criminal justice!

Conclusion: Try not to be stupid, lemmings. These moronic offerings of certificate$ or dual degree$ WILL NOT ENHANCE your job prospects! Incurring additional student debt, for such a supposed credential, will only certify to potential employers that you are a sucker. That is not the image you want to project. I only point that out, since you obviously suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome or some other intellectual impairment. Why not go to culinary school or graduate from beauty school, so that you can really impress the hell out of HR department heads and interview committees?!


  1. Nice... It's time to double down. A JD and then something additional to specialize. This forward thinking, new age development will ensure that you beat the competition by standing out of the pack.

    Technology is suppose to make education cheaper. Put all the lectures on tape and no need to keep showing up in class with canned briefs and dancing to the Socratic method of teaching. -- on the spot..think fast, or look like a buster.

  2. There's just too much easy, risk-free Federal $$$ out there for the schools NOT to be creative! If the lemmings won't buy the law as a straight-up JD anymore, then maybe they will buy it with something else mixed in!

  3. Nando, you are doing the Lord's work.

    1. Blessed Be the Scambloggers, yes. If even one lemming can be saved.........

  4. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingFebruary 26, 2016 at 2:21 PM

    Folks, take it from a 26 year Solo. Everything is correct here. It doesn't matter how many degrees you have if you want to be an attorney. It is no longer a path to a stable middle class lifestyle for most. These schools are offering these "options" because they have a difficult time filling seats. They are selling a product or service that is defective because the market is grotesquely over saturated with lawyers. It is no different than Lee Iacocca peddling Chryslers Newports (14 MPG) during the Arab Oil Embargo....Buy a Car, Get a Check!

  5. Did you check out tuition for this program? $32k, not including summer sessions (at least one summer session is required and costs $1760 per credit hour). The program length is 3.5-4 years. You'd be better off investing that amount into rental property which might actually produce an ROI.

  6. These programs, no matter how ridiculous and impractical and yes, worthless, will be funded almost solely through government guaranteed loans, and since the "credentials" of the applicants will be of little or no importance, just about everyone who applies will get in.
    And that's the problem: while the scammers have had to work harder at keeping the scam going, as the above post shows, they're willing to do the work and be creative. And there is an apparently unlimited supply of dolts who will serve as loan conduits. So unless and until the federal loan $$$ stop, the scam will continue. It's disheartening, but that's the reality. These guys are never going to give up their cushy overpaid sinecures without a fight.

  7. Loyola is such a fucking scam. See, e.g., Class of 2013. Only this shithole can take a class with a median LSAT or 161 and GPA of 3.41 and manage to place a scant 48.3% of graduates into FT/LT positions. Assuming that the top 20% are likely to have some doors open, what that means is that anyone outside this group has something around a 25% FT/LT placement probability. Not very good odds for $200K worth of loans.

    The class of 2014 isn't much better than its predecessor. But I wouldn't it put it past their in$titution fudge some numbers to make things look better (e.g. living expenses around the near north side that they cite are laughably unrealistic compared to their estimate) so who knows how well they actually did.

    If there's any school that consistently takes classes with higher entry credentials and produces worse outcomes I'd like to hear it—I'm honestly curious. Please enlighten me.

    In summary, since they have a bar pass rate consistently 5% lower than their closest competition (i.e. Chicago-Kent), it isn't surprising why employers don't value the Loyola Chicago brand.

    1. Wow, median LSAT of 161 isn't all that bad. But very likely Loyola will soon be on the same trajectory as its Catholic brethren, Villanova and its slightly downmarket sibling Catholic University in DC. Both have had precipitous drops in LSAT scores over the last 5 years. Villanova has been giving out massive numbers of free tuition scholarships to prop up its stats, but still, its top quartile score is lower than its bottom quartile score of 5 years ago.
      Catholic University is even worse. Its median LSAT has gone from 159 to a pathetic 153, while its total class size is less than half the size of 5 years ago. The Holy Father should close down these sacrificial abattoirs to protect the hapless sheep.
      Thank god the Jesuits still have standards, as Fordham and Georgetown can attest.

    2. Given the limited numeracy of your typical law student, I would bet $10,000 that at least a third of the student body expected this increase would also improve their class rank.

  8. Touro Law School's a piece of fucking shit. Are they offering any dual degrees? Or any certificates?

  9. Six years ago, Loyola in Los Angeles retroactively raised all grades by a third of a point:

  10. Can I get a Sports Law certificate if I watch baseball games on the weekend? Also, may I watch them on tv or must I attend the stadium?

  11. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingFebruary 27, 2016 at 1:09 PM

    I did not attend Loyola, so I am not a self-serving shill. They have tremendous Child Law Clinic. The students actually appear in court with a real attorney/professor who is barred. Loyola, like most ranked long standing law schools are a victim of the ABA and its open accreditation policies. The attorney market is over saturated with unranked schools pumping out thousands and thousands each year. The highly qualified, bright students know that being an attorney is no longer a stable vehicle to a middle class lifestyle. They stay away and Loyola ethically refuses to lower standards and they take it in the chin.

    1. Which Loyola are you referring to? LA or Chicago?


    From January 15, 2016 via NaTTTional Juri$TTT, this article is entitled “Case Western offers concurrent degree with Chinese law school.” Try to sup

    “Case Western Reserve University law students will be able to complete their third year in China, while simultaneously earning an LL.M. degree in Chinese Law at Zhejiang University - Guanghua Law School and a J.D. from Case Western.

    The new concurrent degree program, which takes effect in the fall, is among the first between law schools in the United States and China, and increases the number of international concurrent degree programs offered by Case Western Reserve’s law school to four — among the most made available by a U.S. law school.

    “The practice of law grows increasingly international each year,” said Case Western Reserve law school Co-Dean Michael Scharf, who signed the concurrent degree agreement in China with Guanghua Law Dean Zhu Xinli. Scharf directs the law school’s Frederick K. Cox International Law Center.”

    What will they come up with next? When will an ABA-accredited dung heap partner with a law school in Poland or Iceland?

    Back on November 16, 2015, National Jurist posted an entry labeled “UCLA gets $5M for entertainment and sports law.”

    “UCLA School of Law received a $5 million gift from attorney Kenneth Ziffren to establish The Ziffren Center for Media, Entertainment, Technology and Sports Law.

    UCLA School of Law, already a leader in the area, will use the Ziffren Center to expand its program further through curricular innovations, research support, new programming, and hands on skills training that will benefit students, faculty and the greater community.

    “We are so fortunate to count Ken Ziffren among our most dedicated supporters and most distinguished alumni,” said UCLA School of Law Dean Jennifer L. Mnookin. “His career in media and entertainment law has been equally remarkable, and throughout he has given back to our institution so generously with his time, wisdom, knowledge and philanthropy. Now, with this extraordinary and inspirational gift, he both cements and ensures UCLA Law’s preeminence in media and entertainment law.”

    Damn, Jennifer. When you are done figuratively tossing this man’s salad, do yourself a favor and grab some breath mints.

    1. I visited the Chicago Auto Show. I looked at the Chevrolets, Hyundais, I mean Buicks, and their fleet car division, Cadillacs. Maybe they will hire me as General Counsel? That would be cool. I would take a Corvette as a company car.

    2. Douglas College, in Canada, set up Chinese satellite schools to make money handing out "dubious, if not downright fraudulent degrees."

      Here's the news piece; it's about 22 minutes long

    3. These "joint degrees" tend to be gimmicks. That LLM in "Chinese law" will be taught entirely in English to foreigners, almost none of whom will be able to read Chinese legal sources. Lemmings will think that they are setting themselves apart with a Mickey Mouse degree in "Chinese law", but that degree will be worth even less than the toilet-paper parchment that they get from Case Western.

  13. There are only two things that a law school can confer upon you. One is the law degree. Every ABA law school will give you the ability to take the Bar and have at it. Some law schools have varying levels of "prestige". For the vast majority of students "prestige" is not going to help them out. In that scenario, getting the lowest priced education should be the only goal. Going to Chuck E. Cheese School of Law is good enough. The only disadvantage would be associating with classmates with a 2.4 G.P.A. Ninety-nine percent of small law clients do not know the difference between Duke Law School and Joe's Unaccredited Law Diploma Mill.

    Put law school on-line for around $3,000. The teaching hardly changes and what is taught, is largely irrelevant to the actual practice of law.

    1. Small law doesn't support the payments on $300k in debt. The jobs that do support those payments, for a few years at least, require the prestige that only a handful of institutions can offer.

    2. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingFebruary 29, 2016 at 6:24 AM

      Crudely put, but essentially correct. A good law school will teach one "how to read." Cut through the bullshit and understand rules and applications. I am not sure if the unranked schools offer those skills. I do notice that gub'mint employers these days only hire from the top ranked schools from the top 20% of the class. Us schleppers from the bottom 80% used to be that pool the gub'mint drew from. Not anymore.

    3. Unless you can get big law or come from a wealthy family, you shouldn't practice law because there are better options at every level, and irrespective of your ambition level.

      For most middle and lower class kids, blue collar, especially municipal blue collar, is the way to go. Private sector garbage men make 115k in New York City, and municipal garbage men can hit 200k with pensions (100k and pension is standard).

      For those with elite credentials, I-banking or medicine is the way to go. For those with extreme salesmanship and predatory gumption, real estate sales or MLM schemes offer a better top outcome; after all, if your attitude is be the best or nothing, I'll take making 5 million dollars in passive income at an MLM scheme over managing a PI mill any day.

    4. I would agree with you that in the area of subject matter, law schools really are all alike.

      HOWEVER, in a prestige-whoring "profession" like the law, going to a top-tier school opens up pathways to getting mentored and acquiring the type of resume that will allow you to then go on and do what you want to do. A TTT not only won't teach you lawyering skills (virtually no law school does that) but also saddles you with a level of ignominy that puts most of the better internships, clerkships, and initial experiences well beyond reach, insuring most grads stay at the bottom.

  14. In Soviet Russia, the GRE takes you.

  15. The 15-credit-hour graduate certificate is designed to give lawyers a background in construction and engineering

    15 credit hours isn't going to give you a useful background in construction, let alone engineering, which genuinely requires education (or a smart autodidact).


    On February 25, 2016, NaTTTional Juri$TTT posted a piece labeled “Suffolk brings alternative legal service provider onto campus.” Check out this silly nonsense:

    “Suffolk University Law School is partnering with Integreon, a provider of legal process outsourcing services, to give students a paid opportunity to gain work experience delivering legal services to corporate clients under supervision of Integron's legal experts.

    Students will work on due diligence contract review, legal spend analytics projects, large-scale document review and other types of projects Other examples will include electronic discovery and managed document review; legal research and legislative tracking; due diligence for mergers and acquisitions; contract review and drafting; compliance program support.

    The program will be housed in a dedicated and secure on-campus 30-seat delivery center with state-of-the-art training facilities. Integron will train students and the students will then be eligible for internships at any of Integreon’s delivery centers.

    “Suffolk Law has been at the forefront of innovation in legal education for quite some time, both in terms of its focus on practical training and attention to legal services delivery in an evolving legal marketplace. The school was the obvious choice for Integreon in our search for a partner for this program,” said Mark Ross, global head of legal process outsourcing at Integreon. “Our partnership with Suffolk offers our clients yet another compelling legal service delivery model here in the U.S., and one which also helps train the next generation of lawyers.”

    Suffolk University Law School Dean Andrew Perlman said: “We’re thrilled about this partnership with Integreon and, by extension, the involvement of their current and future corporate clients. Suffolk Law is committed to ensure that its graduates have the skills necessary to thrive in the twenty-first century, and this partnership will provide our students with an invaluable opportunity to develop those essential skills.”


    We are a trusted partner for leading law firms and corporate legal departments, helping our clients deliver more for less and increasing the value they offer their own clients. Integreon offers more predictable costs and outcomes, process engineering expertise and a flexible, scalable network of global resources delivering a full range of discovery, compliance and legal process outsourcing solutions.”

    Congratulations, Fourth Tier Suffolk Law cockroaches. You are actively pimping out your TTTT students to a legal process outsourcing and doc review monkey outfit. Your mothers must be exceptionally proud of you, bitches.

    1. I knew I could count on Suffuck to be a leader in the race to the bottom and get its kids saddled up early for the doc review dungeons.


    2. Training for their likely post-JD job! What a concept! Dripping with honesty. For most TTTT grads it's doc review or the Junkyard.

    3. Are the mooncalves at Suffolk up to the task of document review?


    On February 25, 2016, the same rag featured another advertisement masqerading as a news article, under the title “WMU and Cooley sign more agreements to work together.” Here is the entire text of that piece:

    “Western Michigan University and WMU-Cooley Law School officials signed a series of new agreements that will continue the expansion of legal education in West Michigan.

    The terms of the new agreements are already enabling the delivery this semester of two upper-level law classes on the WMU campus in Kalamazoo. Classes in employment and environmental law — the first WMU-Cooley law classes offered on the WMU campus — began in January. The new agreements also will pave the way for a group of first-year law students to begin basic legal education on the WMU campus in fall 2016.

    The three new agreements cover facilities use, courses and programs, and parking. Additional agreements are being developed, along with a series of new initiatives triggered by the affiliation the two schools launched in August 2014. The affiliation formally links the private law school and public university, but allows both to retain their governance and fiduciary independence.”

    This is the equivalent of mixing monkey feces, i.e. Cooley, with dog excrement, Western Michigan University. Yes, what a brilliant idea, huh?!?! For $ome rea$on, the staff at National Jurist forgot to mention the weak-ass employment prospects facing TTTT Cooley grads.

    “Thomas M. Cooley Law School Profile:

    Class of 2014 Graduates: 871
    No Published NALP Report

    LST Scores

    Employment Score

    Under-Employment Score

    Unknown Score”


Web Analytics