Monday, March 14, 2016
Sinking Turd: Brooklyn Law School Drops Another 19 Spots in Latest US “News” & World Report Rankings, According to Above the Law
Flushed Again!: On March 10, Staci Zaretsky posted an ATL entry that was entitled “The 2017 U.S. News Law School Rankings Leak: The Top 100.” On the second page, you will find the following news:
“Which law school has had the worst performance thus far in this year’s rankings?...
SUNY Buffalo also struggled this year, landing itself right back in the same place it had climbed out of just last year. Perhaps those faculty buyouts weren’t so helpful after all. (It’s worth noting that many of the law schools that offered faculty buyouts did poorly in this year’s rankings. We’ll see how this plays out in the rest of the rankings.)
Last, but definitely not least, we’ve got the worst performance in the 2017 rankings thus far. Unfortunately, it looks like Brooklyn Law wasn’t able to stick the landing after its 15 percent tuition cut. The law school now finds itself 19 spots lower in the U.S. News rankings, drifting dangerously close to being knocked out of the Top 100 entirely.” [Emphasis mine]
Wait for Cockroach Nicholas Allard to blame this HUGE drop on the National Conference of Bar Examiners, the Van Allen belts, or the shooter on the grassy knoll. After the official USN&WR list comes out, look for a $TTaTTemenTT from the pig.
The Toilet Also Fell 15 Spots in the 2014 Rankings: Back on March 12, 2013, Elie Mystal wiped his ass with Brooklyn Law School, in his article, “Responding to the New U.S. News Rankings: The Parade of Butthurt Deans Begins Now.” Check out the following segment:
“And finally there is Brooklyn Law School. As we noted last night, Brooklyn fell from #65 to #80. Brooklyn Law Dean Nick Allard told his students that it was the school’s decision to not give U.S. News what it wanted, and somehow they’re surprised that it mattered so much:
‘Our reported figure for 2011 graduates employed nine months after graduation reflects a significant drop in this category from previous years…. Quite apart from their impact on the rankings, our employment statistics are a clear concern for BLS’s leadership, and one that we are working tirelessly to address. We have committed significant new resources to help our students pursue and obtain the jobs that they want and deserve.
Our “9 months out” employment rate, however, does not alone explain our unexpected decline in the rankings. We believe that it is the result of our decision not to report a figure for the percentage of graduates employed at graduation. The information U.S. News requested for that category was changed dramatically this past year. They asked for details that we did not collect in 2011, and we (like some other schools) decided that rather than attempting to construct after the fact an imprecise number to answer to U.S. News’s question, we simply would not provide an answer for that category. This was done in an effort to ensure that our reported figures were completely accurate and transparent. Obviously we did not realize that we would be penalized harshly for not reporting data we did not collect at that time, nor that it would impact our ranking so starkly.’
A few points here, in no particular order:
• Really, you weren’t collecting data for “employed upon graduation”? Really?
• The “details” that U.S. News was asking for were really designed to prevent you from gaming the rankings. It sounds like your plan of obfuscating the facts just didn’t work out this year.
• So instead of giving U.S. News what they wanted, your plan was to give them nothing at all and just, what, hope that U.S. News decided it didn’t really want that information?
Honestly, even taking BK Law at its word, the hubris is kind of amazing. They just didn’t report crucial employment information and were surprised that they were punished. Would they accept that from students? “Oh, I just didn’t show up to Tax because I don’t want to be a tax lawyer, but I did not realize I’d be penalized so harshly in my grade.”
Look, the days of law schools taking their employment outcomes lightly are at an end. I guess Brooklyn knows this now.” [Emphasis mine]
Mystal destroyed that pile of excrement, with his brutal analysis!
But the Trash Pit is “Prestigious” in Other Ways: On August 19, 2015, the commode issued a press release that was labeled “Brooklyn Law School Faculty Scholarship, Brooklyn Law Review Among Tops in Field.” Make sure that you are not drinking anything, as you read the tripe below:
“Brooklyn Law School’s faculty has been named to the prestigious Leiter Top 40, ranking 33rd on the Leiter scale in scholarly impact as measured by citations. Among the Law School’s most-cited tenured faculty members were Professors William Araiza, Miriam Baer, Anita Bernstein, Dana Brakman Reiser, I. Bennett Capers, Marsha Garrison, Edward Janger, Roberta Karmel, Elizabeth Schneider, Lawrence Solan, Nelson Tebbe, and Aaron Twerski.
“This prestigious ranking is more evidence of the powerful collective impact of the scholarly work being done by our world-class faculty,” said Dean Nick Allard. “The depth and breadth of our faculty scholarship is simply astounding and firmly places us among the finest law schools in the nation.”
What a pretentious douchebag. In the real world, where results matter, nobody gives a damn about placement on an academic hack’s list of influential faculty. Other than Crooklyn JDs, how many of you have heard of any of the “educators” in the segment above?
Conclusion: Brooklyn Law Sewer is a vile, sickening, vomitous mass of putrid filth. The smell of ass emanates from the building and reaches the stratosphere. When Crooklyn Law graduates send in their resumes and cover letters, the stench of the degree overwhelms the firms’ email server and fax machines. When hiring partners and their assistants get over the feral scent, they proceed to laugh until their sides hurt. Hell, they can’t even use those applications to line their pet’s litter box, since that smell is worse than cat piss.
If you are even considering attending this cesspool, now rated as the 97th “best” law school in the nation, then you are a mouth-breathing cretin who is mentally incapable of ordering from a McDonald’s menu. By the way, if you graduate from this rancid dung heap, you can look forward to serving Big Macs, chicken McNuggets, and cheap sundaes. You don’t have the mental fortitude to work the drive thru window. Make sure to add a large fry, Bitch!
Posted by Nando at 4:46 AM