Monday, March 14, 2016

Sinking Turd: Brooklyn Law School Drops Another 19 Spots in Latest US “News” & World Report Rankings, According to Above the Law

Flushed Again!: On March 10, Staci Zaretsky posted an ATL entry that was entitled “The 2017 U.S. News Law School Rankings Leak: The Top 100.” On the second page, you will find the following news:

“Which law school has had the worst performance thus far in this year’s rankings?... 

SUNY Buffalo also struggled this year, landing itself right back in the same place it had climbed out of just last year. Perhaps those faculty buyouts weren’t so helpful after all. (It’s worth noting that many of the law schools that offered faculty buyouts did poorly in this year’s rankings. We’ll see how this plays out in the rest of the rankings.) 

Last, but definitely not least, we’ve got the worst performance in the 2017 rankings thus far. Unfortunately, it looks like Brooklyn Law wasn’t able to stick the landing after its 15 percent tuition cut. The law school now finds itself 19 spots lower in the U.S. News rankings, drifting dangerously close to being knocked out of the Top 100 entirely.” [Emphasis mine]

Wait for Cockroach Nicholas Allard to blame this HUGE drop on the National Conference of Bar Examiners, the Van Allen belts, or the shooter on the grassy knoll. After the official USN&WR list comes out, look for a $TTaTTemenTT from the pig.

The Toilet Also Fell 15 Spots in the 2014 Rankings: Back on March 12, 2013, Elie Mystal wiped his ass with Brooklyn Law School, in his article, “Responding to the New U.S. News Rankings: The Parade of Butthurt Deans Begins Now.” Check out the following segment:

“And finally there is Brooklyn Law School. As we noted last night, Brooklyn fell from #65 to #80. Brooklyn Law Dean Nick Allard told his students that it was the school’s decision to not give U.S. News what it wanted, and somehow they’re surprised that it mattered so much:

‘Our reported figure for 2011 graduates employed nine months after graduation reflects a significant drop in this category from previous years…. Quite apart from their impact on the rankings, our employment statistics are a clear concern for BLS’s leadership, and one that we are working tirelessly to address. We have committed significant new resources to help our students pursue and obtain the jobs that they want and deserve. 

Our “9 months out” employment rate, however, does not alone explain our unexpected decline in the rankings. We believe that it is the result of our decision not to report a figure for the percentage of graduates employed at graduation. The information U.S. News requested for that category was changed dramatically this past year. They asked for details that we did not collect in 2011, and we (like some other schools) decided that rather than attempting to construct after the fact an imprecise number to answer to U.S. News’s question, we simply would not provide an answer for that category. This was done in an effort to ensure that our reported figures were completely accurate and transparent. Obviously we did not realize that we would be penalized harshly for not reporting data we did not collect at that time, nor that it would impact our ranking so starkly.’ 

A few points here, in no particular order:

• Really, you weren’t collecting data for “employed upon graduation”? Really? 
• The “details” that U.S. News was asking for were really designed to prevent you from gaming the rankings. It sounds like your plan of obfuscating the facts just didn’t work out this year. 
• So instead of giving U.S. News what they wanted, your plan was to give them nothing at all and just, what, hope that U.S. News decided it didn’t really want that information? 

Honestly, even taking BK Law at its word, the hubris is kind of amazing. They just didn’t report crucial employment information and were surprised that they were punished. Would they accept that from students? “Oh, I just didn’t show up to Tax because I don’t want to be a tax lawyer, but I did not realize I’d be penalized so harshly in my grade.” 

Look, the days of law schools taking their employment outcomes lightly are at an end. I guess Brooklyn knows this now.” [Emphasis mine]

Mystal destroyed that pile of excrement, with his brutal analysis!

But the Trash Pit is “Prestigious” in Other Ways: On August 19, 2015, the commode issued a press release that was labeled “Brooklyn Law School Faculty Scholarship, Brooklyn Law Review Among Tops in Field.” Make sure that you are not drinking anything, as you read the tripe below:

“Brooklyn Law School’s faculty has been named to the prestigious Leiter Top 40, ranking 33rd on the Leiter scale in scholarly impact as measured by citations. Among the Law School’s most-cited tenured faculty members were Professors William Araiza, Miriam Baer, Anita Bernstein, Dana Brakman Reiser, I. Bennett Capers, Marsha Garrison, Edward Janger, Roberta Karmel, Elizabeth Schneider, Lawrence Solan, Nelson Tebbe, and Aaron Twerski. 

“This prestigious ranking is more evidence of the powerful collective impact of the scholarly work being done by our world-class faculty,” said Dean Nick Allard. “The depth and breadth of our faculty scholarship is simply astounding and firmly places us among the finest law schools in the nation.”

What a pretentious douchebag. In the real world, where results matter, nobody gives a damn about placement on an academic hack’s list of influential faculty. Other than Crooklyn JDs, how many of you have heard of any of the “educators” in the segment above?

Conclusion: Brooklyn Law Sewer is a vile, sickening, vomitous mass of putrid filth. The smell of ass emanates from the building and reaches the stratosphere. When Crooklyn Law graduates send in their resumes and cover letters, the stench of the degree overwhelms the firms’ email server and fax machines. When hiring partners and their assistants get over the feral scent, they proceed to laugh until their sides hurt. Hell, they can’t even use those applications to line their pet’s litter box, since that smell is worse than cat piss. 

If you are even considering attending this cesspool, now rated as the 97th “best” law school in the nation, then you are a mouth-breathing cretin who is mentally incapable of ordering from a McDonald’s menu. By the way, if you graduate from this rancid dung heap, you can look forward to serving Big Macs, chicken McNuggets, and cheap sundaes. You don’t have the mental fortitude to work the drive thru window. Make sure to add a large fry, Bitch!


  1. Falling out of the "top 100"? That's got to be the world's most meaningless metric-as Nando points out, if you don't get into the top 8, either don't go or don't complain when you're saddled with 150K+ in debt and no job. Why in the world would anyone ever consider attending this school?

  2. Brooklyn Law's new motto: Hey, at least you didn't go to Touro.

  3. I live in the NY area, and I actually know of quite a few successful lawyers who came out of Brooklyn. The school did, at some point, produce good people.

    I think it's important to emphasize this point, because the legal sector has changed. At one point, schools like Brooklyn did make sense.

    1. Exactly. Marshall was the same way. It was known as a "flunk out school." It may have been less selective, but one had to work their ass off to graduate. It was tough. It also catered to older adults, coppers, and folks with good careers looking for advancement with a legal degree...night school. That was during the 80s-90s. It made sense as well and I know a lot of good Marshall attorneys....older ones....that is....

    2. I think it's far more important to emphasize the reality that those days are long gone. Tuition today is probably 400% higher while demand for lawyers is probably 400% lower. The law school know this, yet they still rely on success stories from a generation ago to dupe people into attending.

    3. Brooklyn didn't serve older students. It had mostly kids in their 20s.

      Brooklyn was a safety for those who could not get into Fordham, which, in turn, was a safety for those who could not get into Columbia or NYU.

      As for Fordham, the ONLY reason Fordham is in the first tier is because of its location. It is adjacent to Lincoln Center, right on Broadway. It's very close to midtown, where biglaw has its offices. Had it been in a less desirable location, nobody would pay Fordham law that much attention.

  4. A tape-measure home-run from Nando ....

  5. See that big glob of shit, kiddies? That's the school's graduates. The teeny tiny blurb of shit near the top of the bowl (a little above the huge glob) is the BLS grad's employment prospects. get the picture?

  6. @ 3/14/16 | 1:06PM

    As a former hiring partner in the NYC area, Brooklyn Law NEVER made any sense. It was always considered a fourth rate school behind the likes of Columbia/NYU/Fordham/Cardozo and in the early '90s, St. Johns. Attending Brooklyn Law only made sense if you were on full scholarship, had a job in Biglaw guaranteed through a solid family connection or you were one of the top 3 students in your graduating class.

    You have no idea how many hundreds of resumes I received from NYU undergrads who doubled down on a worthless Brooklyn law degree. The debt load between those schools was enough to guarantee you a life of hardship barring a solid offer from Biglaw.

  7. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingMarch 14, 2016 at 7:22 PM

    Mrs. Carswell once baked me some brownies that looked like the photo. I think she used canola oil or something. They were ok. I was hungry.


    Even Better Call Saul knows about law school scam

    1. Thanks for sharing this article with us! I really need to get caught up on "Better Call Saul" anyway...

      But even then, back in Season 1 of this series, there were hints that the people behind the show were aware of what's going on in the legal field. Think back to when Jimmy returned to Chicago to meet up again with his old friend Marco; Marco thought that just because Jimmy was a lawyer, he should have been rollin' in it, King of the Southwest or some such nonsense.

      Gee, you think maybe the people behind BCS read these blogs? It's starting to look like it...

  9. Higher ed's a scam in general. You think you're gonna go out and take the world with a fucking degree from Murray State? You go out and realize that you're going to be making $12 at a call center. Then before you know it you double down and get a shitty law degree from a place like Cardozo or BLS. But now you're worse off than ever. You know why genius? 'Cause now you fucking owe $150k for two shitty degrees. And no decent employers want to hire you. Loser. Bwahahaha. In all seriousness college made sense in the 80s and before. The cuntry was getting rid of manufacturing plants and we needed more technology workers and PR people. If you;re falling for the law school lie now, you're part of the problem. Get fucked.

    1. It will be common knowledge that unless i) you come from money, ii) go to an elite school and major in a niche, iii) or are willing to skirt the rules to open up a business, then the only path to success is going to be protected municipal labor. That's it.

      But your analysis is still flawed because even if idiots don't wake up to this fact, the tax payer is eating the bill. So it's not a free "get fucked," it's a "get fucked and fuck the tax payer too."

    2. 11:49p is right-it's all a scam.
      I'm parked in front of the boob tube, watching broadcast TV-business has been too slow to pay the cable bill-and it's ad after ad for "colleges". Yes, you've got the usual suspects-ITT Tech/Lincoln/Devry/Phoenix-but it's the stunning number of ads that gets my attention-these guys must be spending tens of thousands of dollars daily to reel suckers in for majors like "crime scene investigator". Tell me it's about the education, seriously.
      But that's not the kicker-mixed in with ad after ad for these schools plus some website(no doubt funded by the for-profits) that can "match" you to a school-are ads for the local State U! Why the hell are they advertising? And it's all nonsense-fulfill your potential/get a great job, etc-their ads aren't any more illuminating than the for-profit schools.
      No, it's all about keeping the well-compensated administrators and professors well-compensated-period.
      And there is a definite trend in law school attendees-they know they've got almost no chance going to the TTTs, but go anyway. Why?-well, it gives them three years of not having to explain why they are working at the GAP, and it's sort of like playing the lottery-they've already got 50K or so debt they'll never pay back, so what's another 150K? Maybe, just maybe, they'll get one of those 160K/year jobs they hear about. And if not-weren't going to pay the debt anyway, so no big deal. That's why applications have not dropped any further.
      In the words of the great Bob Dylan Joplin:
      "When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose."

    3. Everyday I get 3 calls from call centers: one is located in India, the other in the Philippines and the last one in New Jersey. The one in New Jersey is a debt collection agency run by blacks and latinos (I can tell by their names and accents) and have been calling me religiously every day for the last seven years because they are too stupid to figure out that I only inherited my present phone number and not the person who bailed on their loan. My point is, even those call center jobs are going to be hard to come by pretty soon, unless you plan to relocate to Bangladesh.

  10. “This prestigious ranking is more evidence of the powerful collective impact of the scholarly work being done by our world-class faculty,” said Dean Nick Allard. “The depth and breadth of our faculty scholarship is simply astounding and firmly places us among the finest law schools in the nation.”

    My very first trade was bathroom restoration. I've pulled up toilets that had seen more action than the fields of Verdun. And yet, I'd never quite seen shit stacked as high or as flamboyantly until I started reading Nick Allard quotes.

  11. Brooklyn Law made sense before the 1970s, when Cardozo and Hofstra Law School opened, and Columbia and NYU Law had classes about 60% of their current size. I don't know if Fordham also increased their class sizes over the years.

    You had St. John's and Fordham Law Schools, with some decent placement, and Pace and Touro Law were never factors. NY Law School was there, but few people made it to big law from there.

    Once Cardozo and Hofstra opened, there was a huge and mounting oversupply of lower tier law schools. They placed a few people in good jobs, but the number of good jobs was not increasing with the increased number of lawyers looking for work in New York.

    Now there is a collision - too many law schools in New York and much, much too many law graduates. Law schools, including Harvard, Yale, Columbia, NYU and Penn, don't make as much sense as they used to because some of the grads from the lower tier schools take good jobs and get into the pipeline, leaving fewer jobs for top law school grads.

    Then there is the age pyramid in the legal profession, leaving many lawyers with strong records unemployed and underemployed down the road, long before they are ready to retire. While it happens to grads from all law schools, this trend of being in big law for a while and then being totally out of work may be more frequent now for people who went to Brooklyn when it was good and are now being brought down by the extreme lawyer and law school glut. I know former big law and big in house people from Brooklyn Law who now cannot get work for periods of years.

    I see it in the supermarkets in my area- fruit is spoiling. There are too many supermarkets, and they are not selling their fruit on time.

    Brooklyn died from Cardozo and Hofstra taking their jobs and Columbia and NYU expanding their classes massively.

    In the 1970s and the two post-war decades before then, no one knew the dirty little secret that law could be such a risky profession. Maybe it was less risky than now because there were not so many lawyers and most lawyers were white males.

    With the information age and the internet, the dirty secrets are out in the open.

    You have to believe that St. John's, Hofstra, Cardozo, and New York Law, and of course Pace and Touro, are suffering as well. Their fruit is spoiling because there are much too many law schools for this limited job market.

    1. "...there is the age pyramid in the legal profession, leaving many lawyers with strong records unemployed and underemployed down the road..."

      THIS is the real problem with the legal profession today. By the time you hit 40, you're all washed up.

      Back in the 1990s (when I applied to law school), mid-career lawyers had a reasonably good shot of finding good jobs outside the legal sector, or working in-house or going into private practice. This just isn't the case anymore. There are too many law school graduates in the workforce.

      Today, mid-career lawyers have to retrain. They either go back to school, or they start at the bottom in a new sector.

    2. 1:47 nailed it. Bottom 50% at anything other than an elite school since the Reagan recession of 1980 has been screwed. It was just that the 50% failures were too ashamed to talk about their lack of career prospects and there was no information out there. Sure connected people who could go into a family business or law firm did ok, but the others suffered in silence.

      No the 50% failure watermark has reached the bottom 70-80% watermark. Heaven help the poor schmucks who wanted the "prestige" of being a lawyer.

      Back in the 70s and before many law schools humanely cut the bottom 10-20% of the class after the first year. Now the pigs just want the money.

    3. @8:29 -- It's not as simple as "bottom 50%"

      People ranked at the top of their classes, or who come from elite law schools, are finding themselves broke and unemployed by 40.

      Frankly, I think part of the reason we're starting to have a backlash against law schools is that too many elite students are having problems.

      If it were just the bottom 50%, the schools would brush this off and blame it on the stupidity of the victims.

  12. Drake limps up 2 spots in the rankings, into a 12-way tie for 111th place!

  13. It wasn’t too long ago that Brooklyn was a semi-respectable school. It’s 2010 LSAT numbers were 162/163/165 and I imagine it had visions of passing Fordham as the third best law school in the NY Metro area. What a difference a few years make! Now, it’s knocking on that third-tier door - and for good reason too. It’s admission standards have plummeted further and faster than practically any other law school in the country. BLS's 75% LSAT number in 2015 is a full four points lower than it’s 25% number in 2010. Allard can talk shit all he wants, but those numbers don’t lie. In terms of aptitude, the BLS student of today is fundamentally inferior to the BLS student from a few years back. And this development has not gone unnoticed by either employers or the USNWR.

    1. It would be interesting to have a candid discussion with some of the long term prof's at BLS concerning the quality of students. It's 25% LSAT has dropped from 162 to 152 - a full ten points. I'm thinking the profs can't help but notice when grading exams and class discussions that there has been a real decline in the quality of BLS students

    2. No point in knowing those lsat nuances. The outside world only cares about Columbia, nyu and cornell.


    Back on April 15, 2014, Fortune published a Maya Itah piece that was entitled “Why Brooklyn Law cut its tuition.” Look at this opening:

    “When Brooklyn Law School announced earlier this month that it would cut tuition by 15%, it sounded less like a briefing and more like a battle cry.

    “It’s not just the 15% that we’re reducing here,” Brooklyn Law Dean Nicholas Allard says of the cut, which will go into effect in the 2015-2016 academic year. “It’s encouraging law schools everywhere to do what they can—and they’re not all going to do it the same way—to make sure that every person in America who is qualified and motivated to become a lawyer is able to do so without regard to their economic background.”

    This measure isn’t Brooklyn Law’s first crack at the law school affordability problem. Last year, the school froze 2014 tuition at 2013 levels; tuition is currently $53,850. “I can tell you that our 15% reduction still leaves law school expensive, so it’s not in and of itself a solution, and I recognize that,” Allard says. “But we are committed to doing what we can to continue to work to make law school more affordable.”

    The dean doesn’t shy away from the uglier realities of the legal world. “Who can afford to go to law school?” he asks. “Who can afford to hire a lawyer? Unfortunately, the answer to that question is that most Americans cannot afford it. And that’s wrong.”

    Full-time tuition still amounts to $45,780 at this second tier cesspool. Yes, that is the definition of “affordable,” huh?!?! In the final analysis, it is still way too damn expensive to attend this certified dung heap. Then again, waterheads will continue to enroll in the toilet. Apparently, they don't realize that making $39K per year, while trying to repay $200K in NON-DISCHARGEABLE debt, is nearly impossible.


    “Brooklyn Law School

    Brooklyn Law School (BLS) is a law school located in Downtown Brooklyn, New York City. The school was founded in 1901 by William Payson Richardson and Norman Haffey. It opened with 18 students. The school is noted for its diversity. Photographs indicate that by 1909, African Americans and women attended the school. The school was affiliated with St. Lawrence University from 1903 to 1943. In that year, the university decided to close the law school, but faculty and alumni bought it and Brooklyn Law became an independent institution. The school moved into its current home at 250 Joralemon Street in 1969. In August 2005, Brooklyn Law School opened Feil Hall, which provides luxury apartments for 360 students. Feil Hall also houses the new "Geraldo's Cafe," named for famous alumnus Geraldo Rivera. Geraldo's is a coffee and snack bar that also serves as a student lounge. Brooklyn Law School owns nine brownstone buildings in the surrounding neighborhood which provide additional housing for students.”

    What a pre$TTigiou$ toilet, huh?!?! How many other ABA-accredited trash pits can claim a sensationalist windbag as their most famous alum? By the way, notice the names Feil Hall and Joralemon Street. That brings “fail” and “You’re a lemon” to mind. Nice touch, pigs. Also, how many Crooklyn JDs does the sewer employ as baristas and cashiers at Geraldo’s Café?!?!

    “Brooklyn Law School Admissions

    Brooklyn Law School is considered a Competitive law school, which accepts only 38% of its applicants. Comparatively, Brooklyn is Significantly Higher than the average cost for law school.

    Class of 2019

    Applications: 4597
    Offers: 1712 (37.24%)
    Matriculated: 365 (7.9%)

    25th percentile GPA 3.08
    Median GPA: 3.33
    75th percentile GPA: 3.50
    25th percentile LSAT: 158 3.08
    Median LSAT: 161
    75th percentile LSAT: 164”

    You can wipe your ass with a Crooklyn Law degree. In the alternative, you can use it as a coaster when you are serving lattes to your customers.


    The author does not specify whether it is a T5, T 14 or T40 but the legal industry will continue to shrink and the unemployment rate for lawyers will continue to swell.


    It’s official! Brooklyn Law Sewer – which educates morons and waterheads – is ranked as the 97th greatest, most magnificent and amazing law school in the entire damn county – by US “News” & World Report. It shares this di$TTincTTion with Wayne State “University” and West Virginia University.

    The pigs’ mothers must be exceptionally proud of this “accomplishment.” Who will Cockroach Nicholas Allard blame for this toilet’s precipitous drop in the rankings?!

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